Full Frontal Medical Part 9: The CT Results

Yes, today, dear readers, I went to the doctor's to get the results of my CT that they took 10 days ago. I'm still buzzing from that very, very heavy session I had with the drunen wench friends. I wonder if they made it to the office by 9:30am, for if they did they too would have been buzzing. Well, they'll be buzzing till lunchtime, when the shakes start to set in, and off they'll go for lunch and have a few whines. Oh yes, they will be whine-ing. Big time. "Oh, I need another drink".

Tis now 1:50ish, and I feel the same way...

Anyway, enuf about the drunken wench friends, and onto my journey to get my CT results from that "fluffy" hospital.

I got into the lift of the "fluffy" hospital this morning at quarter to eleven, 45minutes before the end of the morning outpatient session. I like to be fashionably late, but the "stomach doctor" is only there in the mornings so I figured that if I don't make it on time I will have to wait till tomorrow to get my results. I'm fed up of waiting. I've been waiting since Dec 29th, the day they CLOSED for business over the new years holiday. "Fluffy" hospital, what can I do with you, if you are "fluffy" at least *think* of me when you chose to send out the results to my Full Frontal Medical. Especially if they are baaaaad, and you expect me to come in for "further tests".

Huh.

I go up to the reception in the "Forest Floor" hand my outpatent card. The receptionist hands me a piece of paper with 217 written on it. I look up at the board to see how long I will have to wait. There are thee sets of numbers: the 100 series, the 200 series and the 600 series. (WTF happened to the 300 to 500 series? This place is unbelievably fluffy, they make no sense to me!)

210.

Shit I am number 7 in the queue. I hope I don't have to wait too long. I take a seat next to a woman who is looking up at the board. Her number is 214. Not long to go, love, oh, and I bet you feel like me too. Poor woman. Maybe she's got ulcers, maybe a lump or two. She looks pretty worried. Me too, love. Me too.

*Beep*

(Oh shit the number's changed which series is it? Let's have a look.)

216

Eh?

WHOA there, hang on, what happened there, this lady sitting next me is 214, and as far as I can remember in the 3minutes that I've been sitting here she has not moved. I mean, she really has not fucking moved! What's going on?

The lady is pissed too. She calls one of the nurses, who explain to her that sometimes the results or the medical records take *time* sometimes to get to the doctor, so she will have to wait. It's ok, sometimes it takes time.

Oi, I've had ENUF of this fucking fluffy hospital. It's pissing me off! Who has ever even HEARD such absurdity. I cannot believe these people! What the fuck is WRONG with them. This place really, really is "fluffy"! Unbelievable, un-fucking-believable. Am I going to be "safe" being referred to a larger hospital by these fluffy feckers? Is there any un-fluffy person working in this medical establishment? (Oh, that's right, there's Dr.M.He's not fluffy.)

I've kind of given up hope to this place. They give you wonderful Full Frontal Medicals, but outpatient? Fuck it. No wonder I come here only when my asthma drugs run out, and this time they are NOT going to run out for a very long time, for you see, I bought a dozen Serotide inhalors over the counter in some dodgy Chemists in Hong Kong near my serviced apartment just before I came back to Japan.

In the end I was called up over the loudspeaker. (Feckers can't even get the process right. Fluffy idiots! Poor woman next to me, she's still waiting...)

*sigh* *FUCK*

I go into the doctor's office to be greeted by Dr.Y who is stitting there grinning.

Oh, DWR, nothing. Not a thing. No lump. I wonder what it was that showed up on the ultrasound. Can't see a siiingle thing on your CT. See, come and have a look for yourself.

Hey?(WTF?)

Yup, see, come and say hello to pancreas. Let's have a look together. See, this one is the easiest. Now here is the big artery that the pancreas sits on, and here's your pancreas, and oh, here's your spleen. Hello. This one is your second one, little small one here. Pretty aren't they? Very clean organs you have. Very clean. Very Pretty.

Shit I am sitting next to a fluffy doctor saying hello to Kodak Moments of my organs. How trippy. (or maybe it's the neat Shochu from last night...). And indeed they were very beautiful.

Unbelievable!! Wow!!

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The biggest lesson learned from this entire ordeal is for me to look after my beautiful organs. Eat healthily, continue with the regular excersises, because they were indeed very pretty: my pancreas, my spleens (oh the second one was sooo cute! Little bitty thing attached to his big brother!), my hepatic artery, my gall bladder, and my kidneys, and my liver. Everybody that lives inside me is beautiful, and they all look after me everyday.

Everyday.

And now with this I'm going to put a period, and end to this Full Frontal Medical series.

The End.