Today is a public holiday in Japan. Today is "Coming of Age Day" (yeah, I know. WTF? riiiiiight! I hear you, but it's a holiday so I don't really care). On Coming of Age Day people who turned 20 last year (i.e. totally fucking *legal*) go to shrines, dressed in their Kimonos, and the local Town Hall to celebrate their entry into "Always-Always Land". This year a record low figure of 1,500,000 people celebrated their adulthood by shouting profanities at the govenor/mayor, guzzled sake on the streets with their mates, and got caught for drink driving (well, the smart ones got away...).
Just like most western countries, my country's dwindling birthrates, coupled with the almost absent immigration policy (i.e. we let only students and tourists in- temporari sutei onri - no one else, not even political asylum seekers), has created a serious situation where our state pension funds are, well, um, running on empty.
Next year the first bunch of Japan's post war "Baby-Boomers" are turning 60. They are going to be sending forms to their local social security departments telling them "Hello, it's smeee. I've turned 60!! Happy Birthday SMEEEE! Now, where the fuck's my pension? I've got another 28 years to live, and I don't have to work anymore! Weya da fucki mai mani?" So if those 1,500,000 twenty-year olds this year do not get into the Suits, and start paying into the state pension scheme, I'm fucked. Coz I'm the Suit that is going to be supporting millions, and millions of healthy pensioners who are living longer, and longer, and longer.... They sit around playing "Gate-Ball" (a game very similar to croquet), demand that we give them our seats on public transport, create a "slow" lane on trekking routes, and now they are going to increase my taxes. These old feckers are invincible!! They don't die, they are all healthy, and now they want "pocket-money" from me!!!
Coming of age indeed. In "Always-Always Land" I am always, always asked to cough up my dough. Yokoso! Welcome all 1,500,000 twenty-year olds in Japan to "Always-Always Land". You are now legally eligible to smoke, to drink, to vote, and to cough up dosh like me!
(Post Script: I'm a "2nd Generation" Baby Boomer. And although I grumble about young people who chose unemployment as a career path (oh, I'll tell you about the NEETs in a mo') it's the likes of me -- the thirty-somethings -- who are still single, have no kids, and say "Oh, my career, it's hot in here!" I am guilty as charged for creating this problem, and I sit here, blog away, and blame everyone else for my own smelly shit. But it's OK. I'm the DWR, I always have *something* to rub the blame on. I'm going to blame that fucking "lump" residing on my pancreas!!!
I'm going to call today the "Blame it On The Lump" day.)
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