Life in London: Jesus Confucius

My brother used to work for a second hand record/anything store in Notting Hill Gate only 5mins walk from my campus on Camden Hill Road. He used to get many interesting people trying to "sell" items to the store -- anyone from 13 year olds trying to sell PCs and electronics (they had "obviously" broken into someone's home and stolen whatever they were trying to peddle) to Smack addicts trying to sell their granny's clothes. Well, fashion goes around in "cycles" right? You can try and flog off that black, shiny little dress Gran' used to wear in the good ol' days, right?

Well, that's London(ers?) for you.

One of the things that the "store" used to ask for was ID when someone wanted to sell anything so my brother used to see many interesting "drivers licenses" produced by the junked up peddlers with stolen goods. But one of them, Jesus Confucius, was probably the most eccentric "customers" that he had. And he *actually* had a real ID -- confirmed by my brov with the DVLA.

Jesus(?) was one of the "selling" customers at the MVE. He used to come to the store -- get this -- dressed as Laurence of Arabia trying to sell shirts. Plain, white shirts.

Wonderful, isn't it?

The shirts would be worth less than 10pence a piece, but nonetheless Jesus would be around to the MVE once a month to sell his(?) clothes. Each time he would come to the shop, look around, tell my brother that he has something to sell. White shirt? Sure, may I see some ID, please.

Yes, certainly. Would my driver's license be OK?

Yup.

Name: Jesus Confucius
Sex: M
DOB: 10.10.73
Address: 11, Northumberland House, Kentish Town, London, NW5 2EA

SHIT!!!! How on earth does this man walk around with a driver's license??? He calls himself Jesus Confucius, for fuck's sake!!! Doesn't the DVLA actually *check* people's names when they issue drivers licenses? Who gave this fucked up *whacko* a driver's license in the first place??? I would just *love* to have been his driving instructor: "Yes, Jesus, take your foot off the clutch a little bit more. You're doing very well, Jesus. Very well.... "

(I don't think I would be able to keep a straight face sitting next to a guy who calls himself Jesus, dressed like Yasser fuckin' Arafat!! Shit, I had extreme difficulties when my brother pointed him out in Portobello Market!!! Just couldn't keep a straight face. Just couldn't keep it together....)

Well, must admit I have recently come across some interesting blogs about crazy/hooring neighbours 'n all, but please -- ANYONE -- living in the vicinity of Jesus Confucious, blog. I beg you. Blog. I bet he has a very interesting life that you can follow and post. I want to follow Jesus Confucious!!!

Jesus Confucious indeed... too funny!

I *LOVE* London, my second home...