Ministry of Foreign Affairs, (aka. Gaimu*fucking*Sho)

In trying to locate my brother, BwanaK, in SriLanka after the Tsunami hit "paradise", I encountered many obstacles, including that of the the Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MoFA). As soon as I had gone thru Reuters, Bloomberg, DowJones, AP, Kyodo, WHO, and any other sources of information on the damage in the area, I quickly called the Gaimu-Sho (Ministry of Foreign Affairs) to tell them that my brother and his girlfriend are missing in SriLanka.

"Thank you for calling the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. We are open for business between 9am to 5pm, from monday to friday. We will be closed for business from December 29th to Jan 3rd for new year's holiday. Thank you for calling. Thank you for calling the Ministry of Foreign Affairs...."

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! MY LI'L BROV AND TOMOMI ARE MISSING AND YOU ARE TELLING ME YOUR WORKING HOURS FROM AN ANSWERING MACHINE!!!!!

I was pissed off by this time, but onto my next action plan. I proceeded to locate the numbers of the local embassies in SriLanka, Thailand, and India so that I could find someone, ANYONE, who may take my call. I even tried calling foreign embassies, just in case they were physically sitting in the room, a "war room", with someone from the Japanese embassy taking calls to locate families. I have a land line and two mobile phones in the house -- there was always an open line for BwanaK to call us if he's OK.

Nah.

The MoFA did not set up their "hotline" until 5pm -- 6 hours after I saw on the TV that there was an earthquake and a huge tsunami heading for my brother's locale. That's not good enuf in my opinion; my taxes are their *wages*. Go look for my brother, and all other Japanese citizens, and also cooperate with other foreign officials onsite to locate missing people. That is your job, I know, for my father was a diplomat. That's what diplomats do. Your job. My taxes. Go fuckin' find. Go help people in need. Go find our people. Go help other governments. C.O.O.P.E.R.A.T.E.!!!!

In short, the Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs are fucking useless.

And right now, dear readers, I am seeing a report on how even *more* useless these feckers are. These are some of the action plans by governments from Europe:

Sweden: sent SMSs(text messages on mobiles) to all known people that "entered" the affected regions, asking them if they are OK, asking them to contact their local embassies as soon as possible.

Norway&Denmark: published names of all "possibly" missing persons, who "may" be in the region, on the internet asking them to contact them, or their local embassies. (this reduced the number of "missing" people for Denmark by nearly 90%. Most of the them were just backpacking somewhere else.)

Great Britain: Sent out fliers to all "hotels" and bungalows, in places like Thailand, asking people to immediately contact the British embassy, or their families, to confirm their safety. Also had embassy officials visit accomodations, in places like Kao San Road (backpacker heaven) in Bangkok, asking locals if they had any British nationals staying there.

Now, let's have a look at what those lazy feckers at the MoFA are up to:

Japan: Sitting on their arses doing fuck all. Sent a couple of their *most* incompetent people to Phuket(only), for a semi-retirement holiday in Hades. After being interviewed and questioned by a news reporter why the Japanese government is sitting on their arse, and not taking similar action to other governments, as per above? (Response by director of MoFA in charge of "MISSION: GET OUR PEOPLE BACK", aka. MGOPB) "Yes, well.... I suppose so. I believe that contacting "cheap" accomodation, and other places where, potentially, Japanese backpackers may be staying, perhaps, is a good idea. I believe that this is a critical topic for future discussion..."

FUTURE DISCUSSION!!!! I'm fed up with your fucking (in)action, MoFA!!

247 Japanese people right now are known to be missing. They only know this coz people like *me* harrassed them night and day to tell them to get off their arse and look for our family, friends, or colleagues. These stupid fuckers at the MoFA have not gone to the immigration authorties of various affected countries to even *find out* how many Japanese nationals entered that country. Dear readers, have you ever travelled overseas? Do you remember filling in those funky papers for the immigration people? Remember writing your name, your nationality, your passport number? And what did you do when you left that country? You gave BACK that piece of paper to the immigration officials, right? In some countries, they even *electronically* register your passport # et, al. We are *ALL* just a fucking number, and they know where were are -- either on paper, or electronically. They can track us -- easily. Even in B.A.N.A.N.A Republics!!!

Japan is sending 5 billion yen (US$500mil) in aid for the affected areas, but we can't even be bothered to get off our lazy arse to find out if our people are OK. Well, yeah, we are rich, give the affected areas money, we have plenty, fuck it, it doesn't really dent our economy, right? US$500mil ? oh thats float. Change sitting in my cash register. No worries, Mo Man Tai. But protect and find our citizens??

OI!!! GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ARSE KOIZUMI, MoFA, STUPID MUDAFUKIN' CIVIL "SERVANTS" -- DO SOMETHING! GET YOUR ACTION PLAN GOING!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO DRIVE ME INSANE!! IF YOU DON'T FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, I AM GOING TO START A TERRORIST ORGANISATION, MUCH LIKE MR. BIN LADIN , FROM MY HOSPITAL BED WHILE GETTING TREATMENT FOR MY "LUMP" JUST TO GET YOUR LAZY ARSE INTO ACTION -- REMEMBER? "PEOPLE'S AGENDA LEADS TO POLITICAL AGENDA"? I WILL SHOVE SOME TAE'PO-DONG MISSILES *UP* *YO* *STUPID* *AAAAAAASSSS*!!! MUDAFUKAS!! LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN PEOPLE! WE PAY TAXES, MUDAFUKAS! DAT BE YOUR STUPID PAY-CHEQUE -- AND YOUR BONUS!!! AND Y IS IT DAT YOUR AVERAGE "WAGE" IS MUCH HIGHER THAN DAT IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR!!!!! WORK FOR YOUR MONEY, DAMN IT!! DELIVERABLES, DAMN IT, DELIVERABLES!!!!! *I* WORK FOR MY MONEY, DAMN IT, *AND* PAY YOUR FUCKING PAY-CHEQUE!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW THE FAMILIES OF THOSE MISSING PEOPLE FEEL??? HUH? DID YOU SPEND HOURS, DAYS, "ETERNITY", TRYING TO LOCATE YOUR LOVED ONE WITH YOUR STUPID "THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE MINISTRY OF CURRUPT OFFICIALS THAT SIT AROUND EATING PIZZAS IN PAEDOFILE PARADISE..." WTF!!?!?!!! Y IS IT THAT *I* CAN COME UP WITH MORE IDEAS DAN U LAZY FECKERS TO GET BACK OUR POTENTIALLY MISSING PEOPLE DAN DE ENTIRE M.I.N.I.(fucking) S.T.R.Y.!!!!! AND I'M NOT EVEN STONED!!!!! WHAT DA FUCK R U DOIN'!! Y IS IT THAT U IS NOT DOING ABSO-FUCKIN-LUTELY EVERYTHING, AND ANYTHIN', TO FIND OUT IF OUR PEOPLE ARE OK?

I'm fucked off, fed up, and I'm going to stop rambling now. I'm calm and here are my action plans: 1) renew my Tanzanian passport, 2) make some molotov coctails, for my office is just round the corner from the Ministry of Foreign (to any common sense) Affairs (kiddin') 3) blabber all this to the HK media (serious), and 4) come up with a proposal for "e-Government" so that those idiots in the "Public and Energy" sector sitting across from me can sell some jobs to sort shit out. Having e-Government gives many countries access to information --fast, OK, there are pros&cons and "hellooooo, very diffults, DWR", but at least propose. Dat's a better than none, right? Come up with a humanitarian idea that works for everyone -- be creative --that is what "consulting" is all about, right? (tad idealistic, huh, DWR? get real. Fuck U, Nutts, I'm speakin'!!!!) I am in the "Consumer Business" section, but what da fuck. They sit all day picking at their noses. They don't even *blog* and get their anger out -- fuck, P&E!! Sell a project, sort da government out, play poker with da Yakuzas, and make some money while at it. Powerpoint presentation, at least the vision and storyboard already in process -- hehe!)

I am reeeeaaaaly sick and tired of this shit. Perhaps if I contacted some organised criminals, they may get things done.... or maybe not, coz they already *run* the MoFA, along with all the other Ministries of the Yakuza-masonary.

Yokoso Japan!! Welcome to Japan, the country of total insanity. Can someone save me? Nutts, I *need* help!!!

HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!

(Post script: I know my company is an arse-peddling, pimping organisation (would you like some sand with dat vaseline? *smiles*), but I must admit, I have to *thank* them for all the corporate "contracts" and "accounts" they have with exclusive news and info sources. Without them, I would not have been able to get the amount of information on the level of damage that I did when I was looking for my brother. He is home safely now, but I know that there are many people out there still battling that Ministry of Fuckin' Affairs, and they can't locate their families. They are still in the dark about the safety of their families.

I also need to thank the various people in the "foreign" embassies for their continued support, and their cooperation -- otherwise I would not have the figures, and the info that you gave me. Namaste. And....

Japanese MoFA --> Japanese MOdaFukAas!!! Japanese Mother-fuckers!!! Mother-fuckers!!!!)