(Warning: Friends, and in particular COLLEAGUES, if you call me up in your drunken state when I am chatting to a cutie AND send me stupid emails, this is what happens. OK? I'm not always a nice person. You should know that, I work with you. I bust people's *balls* with you, remember? Do not piss me off! You of ALL people should know that!)
Dear readers, I have friends, drunken friends, and I work with these drunken people. They are a terrible influence on me (e.g. drink 3 litres of distilled booze with me on a friday night, pass out, and call me up the next day saying "where did we go last night? I remember up to that tequilla shot we did at XXX". etc.) . I was IM-ing a friend (ok, let's be honest, ummm -- cutie) last night when the drunken wench friends called me up from some smokey pub after several rounds of cheap liquor. (Possibly several bucketfuls of cheap, distilled, potato liquor) They were giving me a "booty call" to go out on the piss with them; I was working from home yesterday so I was WELL away from the drunken wench friends. Plus, as I said, I was more distracted by my IM-ing of cutie, plus my "girls" (J & Cy) who were getting realtime updates of my chat to cutie.
HEEEEEEYYYYYY!!! WAAAAASSSSSSUUUUUUPPPPP!!!! GEEEEENNNKKKIIII? (U ok?)
Yes, I am fine drunken wench friends. How are you?
WEEEEE DDRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNK!! WHERE AAAAARRE YOOOOOOOUUUUU!!!! COME DWRINK WIIIIDD UUUUSSSS!!
Um, where are you? I'm kind of busy right now? I'm chatting to my friends, and a cutie, so can I talk to you guys tomorrow?
NOOO WAAAAIIIIIT, SO CAN YOU GUESS HOW MUCH WE HAD? GO AAAAARRRN, JUUUUST GUUEEEEEEEEES.
Um, drunken wench friends I'm kinda busy right now. I'm talking to a CUTIE, and I really don't have time for your drunken arses right now. Listen, I will speak to you tomorrow. OK?
NOOOO!
*BEEP*
(CTR+ALT+DELETE on the coversation by DWR)
*ring ring*
Hello, drunken wench friends, I really don't have time for you right now, I'll speak to you tomorrow, OK?
NAAAAAHHHHHHH, DON'T PUT DA FONE DAAAAAN...
*BEEP*
(once again CTR+ALT+DELETE on the coversation by DWR)
And this charade continued *three* times before the drunken wench friends fucked off and stopped bugging me while I IM'd the cutie and my girls.
This morning, dear readers, I looked in my mailbox, only to be greeted by this email from one of the drunken wench friends.
Title:
Please set up the job code for the Hiyoshi job (Hiyoshi is where I live)
Text:
DWR,
Please set up the project code for the Hiyoshi job so that other consultants can charge. Dont forget your ankenhyo. Besides, you are going to have a task together with Y to maintain the ownership of Mr. A while he is away from Japan.
============= here is the blog draft A and I made tonite============
Tonite, I was having a good conversation with my friend on the net. Shit, my colleagues called me, asking me rubbish questions. Gee, they are talking about me over the cup of beers? Sigh..what is wrong with these people? The other colleague, who is a Japanese female, is now speaking like him, bad influence from me and him, using F-words. :-)
=====================
So there you have it, dear readers, I have drunken wench friends. Right now Y and A do not work in the same building as the DWR. They are safely tucked away 15mins walk from the DWR Office. However, on Feb 6th the Department of DWR is MOVING INTO the drunken wench friends' building. Yes, we will be in the same BUILDING!!! This is dangerous, HIGHLY dangerous, for I can predict what will happen EVERY NIGHT!!!!
Yes, the drunken wench will be DRINKING with the drunken wench friends, which is probably not a good thing for several reasons:
1) My waist line (drinking too much at my age? can't maintain *trim* figure!!)
2) My brain cells (yes, they do die off -- just listen to the drunken wench friends!)
3) My bank account (mojita? mo-money)
4) My sanity (which kind of is a result of item #2)
5) My readers -- yes, that is YOU! (well, less blogging time, and *massive* time lag between draft and post)
6) My "Lump" (lump apparently also likes booze, probably will GROW if fed too much)
7) My lifestyle (yes, I have a life!!)
8) My cats (and also cats)
9) My mum (well, maybe not, but she can occupy a space on my list.... for now)
and finally
10) Nutts (Me)
Dear readers, please do NOT work in the "suit" industry, for you will end up with drunken wench friends.
(Post Script: Ok, Y and A. Remember we are supposed to have dinner with S, who is in town this week? We are boozing, K? And A, don't you DARE tell me that you are off on business -- I know U B chasing *punany*, and you should NOT dump our "session" for some "other" skinny arse. Fridays, my friend, U R MINE!!!! U hear? MIIIIINE. Love you both! And thanks for the email -I'm sure everyone would love it! You have now officially joined the world of Blogging! Welcome, drunken wench friends.)
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9 comments:
Dear Drunken One,
You DO realize of course that this arrangement to get some will have needs be bollocks up somehow? If you actually do get laid, we'll lose access to your wonderful repository of expressions that explain how you *still* aren't getting any. A good half of your blog will go *poof* in one swell foop. That would be a shame. So take one for the gipper and do as Nancy says ... Just say "no". :P
hmmm.... melancholy and anon, I hear ya both.... but, booty call is booty call, and I need to get a life, right? otherwise how am I going to BLAAAAG about it??? Hmmm???
More booty-calls=more stuff to write about "NOT" getting laid. I mean, how can I? I'm with the "drunken wench friends" right? We pass out in unison, and discuss our memory-loss the following day with a hangover over "brunner". Yes we are bad, but the DWFs? They were ASKing for it when the sent me that email! and yes, I forwared the post to BOTH of them just like I did with L and his crappy directions!
YEAH!
My site, my world!!!!
DWR survival tips from a suit crossed with a bikers daughter.
stock
non alcoholic wine
non alcoholic Beer
stock these by the crate
candles
random chill out music
non alcoholic cocktail recipes
dodgy random films of a variety of genres
popcorn
then for every 3 non alcoholic varient have 1 alcaholic varient
also get a high pressure hose and a invest in a taxi company.
control the flow of alcahol, master it and you shall be the guru of fun.
*hands DWR a selection survival of the suit nation implements*
(These items by the crate)
non alcoholic wine
non alcoholic wine
other items
Drunk dialing is like a cross-cultural, no-barriers international past-time to many, many people. That your friends took the time to choose you to call and slur randomly and endlessly...you should be honored. It just so happened that they didn't have the proper sense to leave you alone whilst you were chatting to a guy. But then again, alcohol rarely inspires common sense.
BTW, I saw your picture on your other blog and I just wanted to say that you are beautiful and your smile is incredible. I am somewhat taken. Well, that was embarrasing...anyway, good luck today(if you find out your results that is hopefully.) I'll be thinking about you.
ok, y'all. drunken today I am, so am nasty and offensive. GRRRRR!!!!! None of that "non-alcoholic" BULLSHIT (i.e. fluffy tea shit) for me. If you are a water sign in particular, do not read on. I am allergic to your fluffy, fluffy SHITE!!
K, now that we have got dat messy CRAAAAP out of the way (oi, your mouth is getting filthy, you wench!! OK will tone it down, sorry....) let's get to the bottom of things....
1) I am drunk again
2) I was given a booty call, and I responded
3) A and Y are my drinking buddies
4) I work with A and Y so they know da shit in da office
5) A and Y are drunken wench friends.
So what am I going to do about it? Weeeeeelll, am probably going to give the drunken wench friends a big crazy "hug" coz they are the best "buddies" to be working with!!!
Namaste
Seriously? If you want good colleagues, come out drinking with A and Y -- best people to work with!!! Da Best!!
1) Congrats on getting some...;)
2) Friends are great and it sounds like yours are special
3) Whatcha drinking?
4) I really really wish I was in Japan right now ;)
5) You've inspired me to throw down a few tonight in celebration
6) Cheers for now.
oooohhhh shit! did I WRITE THAT??? holy fuck!!! yes, I was indeed wasted last night with my drunken wench friends...
thank you drunken wench friends! I get my CT results today....
(oh, and water sign people: I mean no offense, my mum's a water sign, and I love your "fuzzyness". offensive statement retracted, and yes, maybe I need to drink more tea... but there again, maybe not. Especially when I have such wonderful drunken wench friends.)
Best of Karma to you on this day. So many are pulling and hoping for good things. Your in our prayers and thoughts DWR.
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