Crap Directions!!

(Warning to all my friends: From now on *this* is what happens when U give me crap directions -- especially when I'm feeling like shit from a *mega* hangover!! There is an evil, drunken wench living in this body! Remember, dear friends, remember....)

Dear readers, as you know I was invited today by my friend, L, a Frenchman who organised a New Year's "BYO" Galette Party. L, often organises parties at his home, but, for some unknown reason, I always end up missing it, because I am either working, or working. Or both.

This time I just could not miss his party, and give him a poor excuse like, "well, I can't make it, coz I'm hungover...", even if I *was/am* truely hungover, so I decided to go.

Ok, L, so how do I get to your house?

You've never been here?

No, I *miss* your parties all the time. Plus I've been living in HK 'til April this year. The last time I made it to one of your "parties", you were living in your old place, remember? Where's the nearest station? How do I get to your house?

I live in Motoazabu, nearest station is Azabujyuban. Just look for Motoazabu Hills, it's easy.

Ok... I don't know how to get to Motoazabu Hills, remember, I haven't been living in Tokyo for 8 months so I don't know all these new buildings. I will call you when I get to the station. You can give me directions from there.

And sure enuf, dear readers, I got out of the station and gave my friend a call.

Ok, I came out of exit 1, how do I get to your place?

Ok, walk towards Roppongi Hills (shit, more bloody "hills"), and you will see a huge building shaped like a mushroom. You can't miss it.

(WTF? A building shaped like a mushroom?! What kind of crap direction is this!)

I'm hung over and tired, but I want to make it to my friend's party so I decided to walk towards Roppongi Hills. I am nearly there, but no *sign* of a mushroom-shaped building.

So I call him up again.

Listen, I'm standing at the crossing where if I turn left I end up in Roppongi. I see Roppongi Hills in front of me. And there is a "coin-operated" car park on the corner.

Ok, what you need to do is turn right. Go down, then up. You will see a huge building shaped like a mushroom. Call me when you get there.

Eh? Go down then up? Fuck-me-backwards-with-a-barge-pole! What is this? Go down, then up? WHAT KIND OF CRAP DIRECTIONS ARE THESE!!!

Luckily, I'm not a Piscean, like Jesus, so I have some "sense" of direction. I figured out that if I just turn right, and keep walking up a hill(?) I will see this "mushroom-shaped building".

I chanted to myself: mushroom-shaped building, mushroom-shaped building... and eventually got to see a tall building on top of a hill. This must be it -- I suppose it has a unique shape -- it's kinda "top heavy" looking, but I would never call it a "mushroom-shaped building".

I call my friend up.

OK, I'm here, what room number are you?

OK -- I'll come and pick you up.

Huh? You don't live here??

WTF!!!!!!!!!

Fine, I'm sitting under a *tree* at this "mushroom-shaped building". Come and see if you can find me....

(there you go! *crap directions* for you, my friend!!)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Not only does my friend *not* reside at this mushroom shaped building, but he also lives in a building where -- get this, dear readers -- the *entrance* is on the 3rd level!!!

I'm HUNGOVER!! I do not need crap directions and funky apartments to deal with!!! I had a HUGE SHOCK trying to leave your place, thought I was lost when I pressed "1" in the lift to get out, didn't I? NO ENTRANCE ON THE GROUND FLOOR!! HOW CAN U POSSIBLY LIVE IN A FLAT WITH A THIRD FLOOR ENTRANCE!! IT FREAKED ME OUT!!!!!

(right, as soon as I hit the "publish post" button, I'm going to *email* this post to him!!)

Evil, drunken wench resides within....