my kimono; I know, shit pic, but what the heck!
Kimonos get handed down from mother to daughter in Japan. Well.... just like all my other belongings that grow legs and go on journey of self discovery, my Kimono, handed down and "maintained" by my mother, was lost for nearly 3 years. I explained to her when the last time I saw it, and that it should be in her possession, etc., and it is *defo* in this house.
Well, today we found my hand made, silk, Kimono, which is more valuable for it's memory and love than the actual silk threads that make up the garment itself.
*My* Kimono.
I will hand this down to my kids (even if they are boys -- hell, cross dressing isn't *that* bad, right?). This Kimono was was handed from my grandma (and my greatmum before that) to my mum, and now to me. Its been thru the Great Kanto Earthquake, the bombings of Tokyo in WWII, the buble Economy -- fuck, this Kimono has seen history! Its my family heirloom. Doesn't matter how much it cost, just the thought of the women in our family guarding this piece of silk garment, just because it's been handed down for generations...
*My* Kimono. (hope the cats don't jump onto it, and make a scratch!!)
So why does the DWR make such a fuss about a simple, silk garment? She is not usually one to maintain "tradition"? Well this Kimono makes me feel like I *belong* somewhere -- for once. I'm African, but I've never been to Africa. I am Japanese, but I don't feel Japanese, because I grew up in Britain. But am I British? No, for I don't have a British passport, only a Japanese one. Do I feel Japanese? No, I call the Japanese "them".... you see, I don't really have a home apart from my "Haafu" heaven where I do whatever I like, and no one can do anything to me coz I'm always the outsider, the foreigner.
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. But fact: I am different in this country. I'm different wherever I go.
So for now I have something that I can hold onto, call "traditional", and feel like I belong somewhere. *My* Kimono. Mine. For now, till the next generation, who I hope will not have to go thru the identity crisis that I have been living with for the past 31 years.
Sometimes I want to belong somewhere....
8 comments:
Thank you melancholy, must admit, I didn't think purple suited me, but it wasn't bad at all when I last wore it! Purple Kimono's aside, I am glad that it is back safely now....
Sometimes you're so irreverant that it's easy to forget that under the bluster you extend yourself because you are so vulnerable. Glad that you have a piece of something to hold onto, but you aren't nearly as alone as you think. Imagine how quickly the realm of the haafu (hapa) is growing - soon you'll be part of the majority!? :)
yeah.... but there are more haafus (hapas) growing up in one country alone. None are like me and spent 50% of their life in Japan, and 50% in Europe. That confuses even "full" japanese people, the Kikokushijyo's (returnees) that also say that they "just don't fit in"
Also, like it or not the treatment of darker skinned haafus vs lighter skinned haafus is veeeery different here. Wear an afro with olive skin? You are automatically "ugly".
Why do you think I straighten my hair?
and sorry for the "irrelevant" post, but I was just having one of those "soft" moments with my mother. We have been searching HIGH AND LOW for my Kimono for 3years... it's hand made, and something that was handed to her by her mother who is dead...
ok, so I have a soft, fluffy side sometimes, K?
I can relate to how you feel about not having a 'home' more or less. I really grew up in many different places, and if I was to have a kid, there would be no one place I could take them and say, this was my home. I lived in many different places, in many differen houses, none which I can consider home. Yes while it has all been in the US, and I am a citizen of the US, the idea of a home is foriegn to me. Some day I may know what home is like, but not now, now I know what a house or apartment is like.
They say home is where the heart is, but what if you lost your heart and do not know where you left it, or where it is, or even if you ever had it? That is the position I find myself in.
So to some extent I can somewhat understand how you must be feeling, not exactly or even close really, but I get the idea. It is a sad feeling indeed, hopeless almost in my case.
Unfortunately, I do understand too well, Li'l Drunk One (and you are *tiny* now, yeesh - fill those jeans). Not too nice to any 'brown' skinned people there at all, though the slimey black guys always seem to do okay in Roppongi - always swarmed with the Japanese girls. Maybe that's just the guys. The Iranians had a lot of issues too, but that may have to do with a lot of the 'trade' they were doing as illegals there.
Let's face it, though. Not every banker is a wanker and not all the ex-pats are that bad I should think. You've enough friends that are blokes, eh? You aren't asking for marriage at this point (though it sounds like you could easily become a US, EU, or Oz citizen from your fan base alone), just a bit of snuggle time and attention.
Could always just post you as a damsel in distress. Let's see ... cutey ... in *distress* of sorts ... anti-depressants ... shy (except when drunk) ... needs a guy with a mount (of sorts)
Sounds like you want a 'white' knight (or at least a 'banana' (hapa)) to ride ... um, off into the sunset with.
You know what? There's this wonderful phenomenon happening called BPO -- you just don't find too many expat people in the finance industry (apart from French Banks). Most multinationals are also hiring locally so you don't see the classic "Tokyo American Club Member Weilding Expats" as much. My company terminated all the expat contracts and shipped the "gaijins" off last year. They kept a few, but all are now local hires. Most of the "gaijin" are in IT, communications, headhunting, and of course teaching English.
But yes, the sexist Black guyz in Roppongi still grab you in the street with a "hey baby, wassup" chat-up line. The funny thing? You ask them where they are from, and they will reply "I come from LA" with a *thick* African accent!
Riiiiiiight, I can reeeeaaaaly tell you are from westside...
LAgos more like, WESTAFRIKA!
As in Business Process Outsourcing? It's hitting everywhere and it's big business. Nipperland has been hit pretty badly and is afflicted by the same malaise affecting the US except worse. I would think that someone will have to do something and make tough calls at some point. At least they have begun writing off bad debts and things like that.
Nice being a bloke as most guys don't bother you. Plus, if you are foreign they steer clear as they don't know how to handle you. Especially since a lot of people can go there and be 'big' for once in their life. At least stocky (where they'd just get sand kicked on them at Venice Beach).
Have a lovely chipper, Wenchish One
yup, bizines prossess out-sorcin'. dat be da 1. tis hitting us hard... real hard!! and guess wot? BPO also our bizines these days.
Post a Comment