Yesterday I met one of the smallest man -- ever -- but he stands tall with conviction and pride. He is only 148 cm tall and weighs 35kgs (according to him). And he was orange. And he listens to people's stories for free.
Strange, huh? (and no, I was not tripping or anything.)
His name (alias) is Hirakata Van Damme. He was sitting in Shibuya as I walked past and noticed him sitting in the middle of a busy piazza, on his own, with a big hand written poster that said: Stories. I listen to stories for free. Anything you want to say? I listen for free.
Wow! That's interesting! So I sat down and asked him if he would like to listen to my stories. We talked for nearly 1 hr; a crowd had gathered around us for a while, but dispersed after they realised that our conversations were *way* too over their heads. Anyway, here's one of the things that what we talked about:
D: So, you listen to stories for free, huh? Do you want to listen to my tales? I have many. I am a passionate blogger. I call myself a silent Kataribe, and thru blogging I have researched many things about my own country, and I am baffled each day that I find out more. I recently got pissed off with a passenger on the train, and told this wanker about how shitty the laws are here. Do you know the age of sexual consent for a woman in this country?
O: Hmmm... Dunno. 17?
D: LOL! You have to be kiddin' right? I thought you heard lots of stories -- it's 13. THIRTEEN.
If a 13 year old says of free will "yup I want to have sex" they can. It's not statutory rape! Madness isn't it? This is the only "developed" country that has such stupidity. I write about these things coz they piss me off and....
O: (humph) Well. We have always been this way; it's our custom. There are many books out there today about Che Guevara, and you seem to me like someone who is into being a revolutionary, but you see, it's futile. Even if you kick Koizumi out, he is replaced by another right wing cronnie.
(true)
D: OK, I agree that things just won't change just because our primeminister changes, but the thing is, we are supposed to live in a "democracy", and we need to speak out, stand up, and shout....
O: You really don't understand the rules do you? You can talk to whoever you like here. Anyone. Look around you? People don't care. They are interested only in where their money comes from so they can buy a new gucci bag. They are interested in how they are going to live tomorrow, not stuff that you are rambling on about. There are over 30,000 people who commit suicide every year. THIRTY THOUSAND! And do you know why they die? Coz they realise that it's futile to swim against the tide. It' easier that way. Nothing will change. Don't go around talking about revolution, or whatever, coz nothing is going to change.
(OK, people commit suicide. Fact. I agree...)
D: But don't you feel bad when you go to bed? What about your conscious? How do you feel knowing that our society is fucked up and that there needs to be some changes here and there. I'm only part Japanese, but I am proud of my heritage. I want Japan to be a good country, and this is why I blog and speak up about all the injustices. Someone needs to tell it how it is; OK I do it in a humourous/twisted way, but I still have a message for all my readers. I don't ramble without thought. Do you know why? Because I believe that we can change...
O: I feel sorry for you. You *really* don't understand anything, do you? At your age you still have not learned... (BTW, he is one year younger than me). You have to respect those that uphold the law, maintain the status quo, and keep our tradition. Japan has it's own customs and traditions; we are not like the west. I'm not saying that it's good or bad, but it just is. I don't know why you are talking about revolutions all the time -- have you been reading those trendy books on Che Guevara? And you don't listen to others. You are like just like those foreigners who come here asking me questions, but their Japanese is not as good as yours. Plus they don't understand us fully. We have a long history, a long tradition, and it has always been this way. I listen to people's stories coz it's a depressing world out here, and someone needs to listen to the lost souls, but you know what? You can rant and rave as much as you like... nothing will change. All will still be the same....
(sorry, dude, compared to the rest of the world, Japan's history is fairly new. We are not living in Egypt or Greece here. It's JAPAN. We don't have much records before AD. 600??)
D: I disagree. I think that individuals can organise themselves, and raise a public agenda, and..
O: (humph) See. You are not listening to me. You just don't listen do you? I can tell that you are smart, one of those types that go to Tokyo University (Top Ivy league college in Japan). You have loads of facts up in your head, but you don't understand the real world. You rant and rave about changes, revolution, making a difference, but you have no idea. You don't listen to people. That's the impression that I get from you. You talk too much. And you just don't listen.
(ummm... I thought *you* listened to people's stories, not preach... nevermind. Whatever...)
D: Do you get many people like me who debate with you? About everything and nothing?
O: No. You are the first....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I promised that I will write about him; he has been (apparently) taken up the Japanese media, recently published a book, and is a bit famous! (I didn't know that at the time, which is probably a good thing, otherwise I would have gone into full DWR trashing mode.) I will admit that his idea about listening to people is admirable. He is sitting out side in the cold giving his time for free. Not many people do that. But that does not mean that I share his views. Perhaps I really don't listen to people. Perhaps I speak up before my debating partner has finished. Perhaps I do rant and rave about stuff, but do you know what, readers, I take action. I do things. Yes, I may not get it right all the time, but I don't sit in the cold, observe all the madness in the world, and leave it at that coz it's "tradition". I don't give up hope on today's youth and say:"well, they will never understand what you are on about"....
The point is, dear orange man, even if only one in 1,000,000 people understand me it is better than none. Resistance is not futile. Rules and Tradition/Customs are meant to be challenged, otherwise our society will never evolve. Yes there are traditionalists, and their views should be heard, but is what they say the absolute truth? The best and only way? No.
Please, Orange Man, I don't want to hear your apathy. I don't want to hear you giving up. Listening to people's voices is passive, but acting upon them... that takes courage. I'm not perfect, but there are people who have managed to make a change like Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Eleanor Roosevelt thru peaceful means. I have not read the recent "trendy" books on Ernesto (Che) Guevara; I don't need to, for I have a dream. A vision, which you cannot see, for you are stuck in your own head. Leave. Explore. See, Hear, Experience. Truely listen to people, to the universal language of the soul, and use their stories to make a difference.
I didn't get a chance to say my last bit, for he was already not listening to me. Funny how he advertised that we was a listener, and couldn't listen to me.
Maybe he's right, and I don't listen to people's views. I have strong convictions about certain things, but so does he. We are the same... but we are looking in different directions.
As advertised in his web page I will go and see him on friday and continue our debate. I know that I cannot change his opinions, but at the same time I know he won't be able to change mine either. I will talk to the Orange one whenever I get a chance to, for although his views are different from mine, I respect him for giving his time away for free. For something he believes in -- he's not imposing on others. Just listening (or at least trying to...)
One last note for you, Orange dude: remember you said that you thought very little of philosophy coz it's a bunch of thoughts by people from ancient times, and is not applicable to today's society? Well here's my story/philosophy for the day:
Iqbal Masih was only 10 years old when he stood up against child labour in Pakistan. The small warrior -- probably smaller than you -- spoke up for what he believed in... and just like Ken Sarowiwa his life was ended abruptly at 12 years old. Tell me, dear Orange one. After listening to stories like this, do you still say that nothing can be changed? Do you block out these stories as you lay there in the dark at night, in your bed as you drift off to sleep?
I know that I don't. And that's why I write. Remember? Oh, I forgot. You only listen to stories that you *want* to hear. Well, I will continue to talk to you, tell you my stories, stories of others that have passed by and left a note on my site. People that I randomly come across, for their stories are more precious than a thousand carat diamond. I know that you will not see life thru my eyes, but that does not matter. I will continue to tell you the stories.
I look forward to our many debates.
conversations with the orange man to continue.....
Monday, December 13, 2004
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DWR vs. the Orange dude, cool. I am much more in line with your think on the subject of traditions DWR. How silly to say that nothing will ever change. If all people held that attitude, we will still be living in caves, and pulling women around by the hiar right? I mean how does this guy think society has become what it is today. And if we all listened to this guy, you can go walk outside right now and yell at the top of your lungs, "this is the best it is ever gonna get Japan." Then stand on your doorstep and really look around and think, is this all I want out of life. Our society has topped out and this is it. I can tell from what you blog about and how you do it, that you know this situation I just described is not ture. I know you do not have to go out and yell, you know better. But it is really sad for this guy. I went and saw his webpage after reading this post, and I really feel sorry for that guy.
It seems to me he has given up on people, he only wants to be one of the main stream, just another face. It could be that he was not able to do this prior to his success as a listner. So he started to listen to the people of Japan and has come to the conclusion that this is all he will ever get. So he continues to listen to be accepted? See this is where I question this guy, WHY is he listening. Get to the bottom of it for me please DWR. I bet it is a childhood repression or something.
If we are allowed, I would like to place 30,000 yen (???US) on DWR in this match up. I know yall are not really fighting, and that is not your point, but I bet there is a little part of you that wants this:
DWR V. Orange guy
Odds: 3:1
Educate the small dude DWR!
o, I too would like to know why he chose to *listen* to people. I have already posed the question to him, to which he replyed: "coz I like to listen. It's my hobby".
So it got me thinking.
I would like to read this book that he has written. I would like to know how his mind works, but one thing I suspect is that he too notices all kinds of shit going on, but he stops at that. He does not look into WHY the shit's happening. And HOW we can do something about it. He is a listener by trade. Surely he has come across more depressing tales -- personal ones -- but he shrugs it off and says, "oh, well. That's life"
He also remember him saying that "things gradually change on their own, look at how gay people are more accepted in our society..."
WRONG!! Ask any gay person how they got accepted (some still aren't!). Ask any gay person the history of marginalisation, oppression, and discrimination.
As any gay person what the words "Stonewall Riots" means to their history.
See, nothing changes "on it's own"... (I don't have to be gay to know that they have to stand up and fight for their rights.)
But I will go and see him on friday, and have another chat with him. I have no intension of being too aggressive (I may be sarcastic, but never aggressive). That's not my objective. I want to find out why Japan is so apathetic, and I think he may have some answers without even knowing them.
Funny, the other day I met people who *did* want things to change. I need to do more research into their plight: they were against building more US military bases in Okinawa, a group of beautiful, tropical islands, and is also the habitat of some very rare marine life, including the dugong(or sea cow). There's also a group who are fighting to put the *real* history of Japanese imperialistic military agression in the 20th century back into the kid's text books. I agree. Right now all that they are get "peal harbour" and "hiroshima/nagasaki" -- if they are lucky they may get the battle of mid-way, and a few things about bombing of Tokyo, but that's about it. Sad, isn't it? Anyway, stay tuned for some more
stuff on these topics. Don't worry, I'll keep it light and entertaining, as always. :)
was I always this passionate about many things?? I guess so, huh?
I just love coming here to read what you post on the daily DWR. I was thinking about this on my way to work today: What will I do when she goes on holiday? Will you continue to blog, or will there be a dry spell for you readers?
I am looking forward to more about this Orange guy. I would really like to read his website, but alas it is all boxes and strange symbols. Oh well, keep blogging DWR, it is getting me through my days.
It might be interesting to pursue a slightly different tack with Orange-san. What say you that you cannot be in the world and interact with it without changing the world and being changed. As such, if his listening causes one less girl (most Japanese suicides are girls ... and things like trains - so sad) to end her life, then he has to face the fact that he is forcing change. If he listens and causes a person to realize a change, in a chaotic system, how can he be so sure that he is not an agent of change? By his apparent apathy, if he causes you to lead a revolt against the system, again, is he not then changing the very system that he disdainfully states is unchanging and unchangable? What's more, then he is effectively stating that life is meaningless if change is not possible - especially so since people need hope. It would be interesting to hear more.
Be well
Unfortunately, my anonymous good friend, the suicide rates amongst the Japanese has been the highest for men aged in their 40's and 50's, but recently there has been a surge in the number of suicide cases for men in the 30s...
http://www.personalmd.com/news/n0707010645.shtml
Suicide rates - wherever - tends to by higher amongst men. I suppose many men shoulder the burden of supporting a family, upholding their position in their companies, etc... plus I suppose it could be something to do with the different communication styles between men and women.
Thru-out history we, as humans, have evolved where men go hunting in packs. They are in competition with the other men to catch that big mammoth, to perform better, to bring home better "dough" to raise their family. Their communication style has evolved as one of competition with their peers. You only have to listen to a bunch of men speaking about their work at the end of the day in a pub: Yeah, that idiot, X, I would have done it this way. Nah, you know what? You needed to do things this way. That's how I would have done it... etc.
They have a natural urge to compete and do "better" than their peers.
In contrast women used to tend the fires, look after their offsprings in a "commune" waiting for the men to bring home the food. If they had something on their mind they would speak out and say:"you know, that stupid husband of mine doesn't bring back good mammoth" and the commune, the collective will all agree and say "yes, I hear you. You are not alone, we are with you, sister. Hang in there darling."
And we feel better.
We feel better by communicating and saying "yes, sisters unite"
So what's the DWR on about? My point is that men usually do not speak out until it's too late coz they feel that they need to compete against their peers. Whereas women are more likely to "share" their pain and thus less likely to take the option of taking their lives. As you mentioned the majority of those that go to the orange man are probably women, because they are more likely to want to talk and have a sympathetic ear. But there are men out there who are burdened with even more sadness and guilt, but cannot go to the orange man... why? that small piece of pride that stops people from confiding in others....
What do you think? Am I on the right tracks?
oh, post script on the last comment. I too mentioned that doesn't it make a change if you saved one, just one life? his response was that the suicide numbers increased so it didn't really make any difference...
I disagree. Sorry, that's just me. I am not going to reduce human life to statistics...
Dearest Delphi-on-Shibuya,
I hadn't heard the stats on men there, but remember always hearing about the women (plus, that tended to be the reason for many late trains) committing suicide.
I've heard posited the same men-hunting, women-hearth argument a number of times and will grant that women tend to be the social glue that binds most social structures together. In most patriarchal societies that are rule-based (as opposed to relationship-based, which tends to be the organization of matriarchal societies), males do not have too many accepted means to vent or access a social network to relieve stress.
I really hadn't heard of that many suicides, though - maybe it's taboo?
The younger generation seems to be more disoriented than before. Prior mentalities focused on duty to lord, emperor, etc. Post-war focus was on reconstruction and pitching in to reconstruct and make for a better life for your kids. The newest seems focused on ... nothing. Everyone seems lost in themselves now. The conformity pressures seem to push people to conform to smaller, homogenous groups that are seen as 'radical' non-conformists. Very odd.
Would like to hear your views on whether it's nurture, nature, a combination, or something else that drives the actions of men and women in society? Can it be changed?
As for the orange man, it appears that he poses a problem to his own dilemma. Since he advocates no change and yet wears orange hair (assuming his site has an accurate picture), would not his very presence and actions be part of the social pressures for change in Japan. By being small, being visible, being 'non-traditional' (guys NEVER listen as I remember, except to authority figures), and otherwise not a traditionally-acceptable person, does he not signify and support the very change that he claims cannot be? Or is this all a sham, whereby no change occurs in fact, but there manifests different faces over the same unchanging system?
Personally, I opt for a French Bourdeaux. Care to join me sometime, M? :)
Wish they would allow viewing of prior posts when commenting ... alas.
With regard to pride being the prime cause of men in Japan not confiding, I'm not sure it's that simple (or men anywhere). Pride is probably one reason, but might it also not be a sense of duty, or possibly other reasons such as even a lack of recognition of a problem, or recognition of an issue that is addressable?
There might also be a difference in that the social pressures felt by women are addressed via a different mechanism. Let's say that women are stressed by higher taxes (things that they cannot control), but cope by focusing on caring for those in their charge and 'sacrificing' themselves for their children and parents - something they can commit to completely. Let's say that men are stressed by their hitting the promotion ceiling (they were not born into a family that allowed them to attend the right schools, go to the right uni), the guys focus on the failure and become obsessive. Might this possibly denote a difference in not only access to coping resources, but a different stress alleviation mechanisms completely? Both are in a situation with limited control of a negative pressure, yet one (the women) copes through building of relations and collection of social credits and the other lives by and judges using hard rules (what is success, have I been successful, if not I am a failure). This is not original, though I cannot remember the source. Basically, that women's use of relational values allows the men's use of hard rules without totally causing the self-destruction of the social structure in which both operate.
Words are such an awful medium... But, the best we have.
you hit a good point there, anonymous one. I should not have reduced the complexities of why someone would chose to take their lives: for instance we can pull out stats on why one social group, gender, or even occupation has a higher suicide rate than others. But do numbers tell the real story? Can we tell why someone wants to kill themselves. No, and I suppose that may be the reason why the orange man has given up. Chose just to take a more "zen" approach and just listen.
(must admit for someone who is supposed to be a radical, all he seems to be doing is dying his hair orange -- his roots were showing tho -- and writing a book on people's stories. And the futility of it all... WHY?! Oh, that's right, he needs to pay his hair dressor.)
I still disagree with his approach. Because at the end of the day, people are dying. And there is a reason; and unless someone does some digging, find out the cause, we cannot challenge the boundaries that are making people take their lives and do something about it.
(I recently met some cool people who are doing just that -- still in research mode, even got an interview yesterday!! Will post soon. I promise!)
As for your questions on my views on what drives the actions of men and women in society; I think it is a combination of both. To what degree? That still needs more investigation, not just by me, but also by other scientists. We still do not know sooo many things about life: we don't even know why a single, fertilised cell (egg) decideds to divide into 16 cells, and why some of those 16 cells decide that they want to be a placenta, or an umbilical cord, or a baby -- and which part of the baby? They all have the same genes, right? They all came from that one single cell...
(anyway, I digressed big time there, so let me get back)
As we have seen thru modern western history (take universal suffrage for instance) I think that our actions in society can be changed. And the changes I believe comes less from "nature", but more from "nuture". By raising your children to respect themselves, be who they are, and stand up for what they believe in, I think that people will act accordingly in society -- regardless of their gender.
(What do you think? Sorry, it's the INTP nature coming thru here)
Have you ever heard of the 10 monkeys and the bananna experiment? How the 10 monkeys get sprayed with water everytime they try to eat the hanging bananna so that eventually none of them even try to go for the bananna. Then they start to replace each of the bananna-fearing monkeys one by one, and each time a new one comes in, tries to get the bananna, the other 9 will stop them. "Don't eat the bananna, for fuck's sake!". They do this until all 10 of the first-generation-bananna-fearing monkeys have been replaced, but none of the monkeys go for the bananna. None of the new monkeys have ever been sprayed. They have never experienced the nasty cold spray, and yet they don't go for the bananna. They think that there is a "reason" to not eat the bananna.
Let's say that there was one monkey that told it's child: look, I have no idea why we can't eat the banana. As far as I have seen no one has eaten it, and no one seems to know why. No one has died from it, I just don't understand.
*aha, the monkeys are thinking*
Let's say that several of these monkeys start to say the same thing, question, start arguments with the "traditionalist" monkeys asking them what would happen if someone went and tried the bananna.
(hang on where was I going with this... oh, I remember)
That's right. My point was that it is natural for the monkeys to protect themselves. It's their natural urge to avoid drowning trying to get that bananna. They want to pass on their genes to their offsprings, right? But it is nurture - that one monkey with an idea teaching it's kids - that changes how those 10 monkeys will act in the future. Who knows? The guyz running the experient could be out to lunch, the hose is broken, or the monkeys were never locked in that cage and were free to fuck off and do their own things in the first place!
Must admit, you got me thinking even more about how our society is structured -- or at least viewed -- by my generation and below, and what is it that drives a whole generation into apathy and being so self absorbed.
Maybe it's consumerism, maybe it's the TV, maybe it's the absence of fluoride in our water supply...
(oh shit, C. look what you have done!! You've just added ANOTHER ITEM on my to-reseach list....)
*god, I wish I was a student, maybe I'll have more time keeping this up.*
Thanks for keeping me on my toes!
p.s. I suggest that you have two windows open so you can read previous posts AND comment at the same time. That's what I do, anyway. :)
(and yet, I still go off in a tangent, *big* time...)
oh, yeah. where's that bottle of bordeaux? Or has the french bomb squad drank it all???
oh, while we are on the subject of people jumping in front of trains, did you know that it's the family of the deceased that have to pay *compensation* to the railway companies for all the disruption to their "perfect" schedule?? Not only have they lost their loved ones, they now get a huge bill from JR telling them that they have to cough up for the clean-up operations...
sad, isn't it?
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