Answering Machine

(Note: sorry not much link to the tune I'm talking about, coz I'm ill right now. I think you'd have enough info there to get some free downloads, or something, but defo recomend you to listen to the lyrics. A true classic. And no, I do not have the time nor the knowledge to convert it to MP3 and distribute it. Remember, I am a sick IT consultant that deals with only PLM and SCM and SDP and BW.... yes I need help..)

There is a song called "answering machine" by Green Velvet on one of my "old school" compilation albums, Cosmic Disco Mix Mag, by DJ Derrick Carter. It's dance tune that goes thru a week of messages left on the answering machine of this dude, Melvin. His first message (on monday) starts off with his pregnant girlfriend (who he just proposed to) telling him, "thanks for the engagement ring, but the baby's not yours so you don't need to worry about it... I'll always love you!" And that's only the begining.... After each message you hear Melvin shouting:

I don't need this SHIT!

This week for me has been one like Melvin's answering machine. The only difference is that I will not be evicted for naked girls running down the hallway, and I won't have psycho ex's(?) calling me up in the middle of the night.... actually. No, let me retract that last statement. I get *drunk* ex's calling me up in the middle of the night (e.g.3am), coz they know I am still awake....

GO TO SLEEP, PASS OUT, DO ANYTHING!!!! Leave me to my peaceful insomnia!!!

(If only I had the courage to say that to them.... I can't refuse, especially because they are nice, even if things didn't work out. Sorry, Dr.K, I know you're probably reading this.... feel free to call me anythime. And have a safe journey home. Say hi to your mum!)

Anyway, where was I? Yes, answering machine, and my shitty week:

1. I have the flu. I don't know what kind, but the "witch doctor with a license to practise medicine(?)" said something about HongKong Type A, or something (probably Bird flu...) He nearly gave me some "remedy" with potentially devastating side effects.
2. Been trying to move my site, with the help of my good friends who have done more research than I have; found out that my crappy web host does not allow me to ftp, nor does it allow me to have people come round for a cup of tea, and leave their comments even if I moved to my new "whine" cellar. (Thank you c, o, bunny, summer, a, and everyone else who has helped this stupid drunken wench realise that --oops, wrong avenue, darles. If you guyz need any recommendations on quality alcohol/vegitation/supply chain management, I'll be more than happy to help y'all)
3. I have been prescribed new sleeping pills that make me lose my balance in the morning, thus stepping on George's tail so many times that he runs away when I call his name.
4. There is no booze in this house. And I realised that I have not been laid since sometime in AUGUST this year -- what a sad fucker... I can't remember the date, let alone the week... sad bitch. I don't own a sex toy so I *really* have not been getting any -- neither carbon, nor silicone..... sad fucker bitch. GET A LIFE!!
5. I have to be at the office 2moro for a 9am meeting, avec flu. I also have to get Christmas pressies for all my friends, and I have no idea what to get them.... Book Tokens??
6. Two of my good friends have left Japan for good. I will miss them both. Funny, they both went back to Melbourne, Oz..... Mark and Tony, I will miss you both! Don't 4 get to write once in a while, or read my blog.... (*tears* -- OK, I'm sentimental, as well as mental)
7. I need to finish my specially researched post before Christmas. (And to top it all ==>)
8. Belle (my cat) pissed on my duvet, and it stinks! !!!!!(stupid bitch!)
9. aaaaaaaaaaaaa!
10. The Californian Psychics sent me my "horror-scope" for today:

Libra: Thursday, December 23, 2004:

Your energy level should be quite high today. (no, it's not. I feel like shite) Your self-confidence and capacity for hard work should be higher than usual as well, and you should be more than ready to take on whatever challenges you might have to face right now. (Listen, I don't need any more challenges than the 8 listed above. I'm tired, OK, give me some good news like there will be a nice, goodlooking man entering my life, who understands my excentricities and my love for cats, we will fall in love, and everything will be a wonderful fairy tale happy ending) Just try to keep from forcing your thoughts and opinions on other people today. (Ooops. Does blogging count as "forcing my thoughts and opinions on other people"? I guess so, huh. But guess what, Mr. Californian Psychic, you were wrong on 2 out of the 3 statements, so I guess you are statistcally more errornous than what you think. I'm going to ignore your last statement and tell you what I think...)

I Don't Need This Shit!!!

(and merry christmas, to you, Mr Californian Psychic, for I am sure you are already on some beach in Mexico, or somewhere warm, after you set up your automated "horror-scope" emails over the next 5 weeks while you sip pina colada's by the poolside in one of those "men only" resorts. Anyway, why aren't we, the straight girlz, not allowed to go to your "men-only" resorts? We are no threat to you! We want to have a good time too, and we need some eye candy once in a while, I mean, let's face it, the average "hetro boy" is WAY too ungroomed. You guyz rock! You guyz know how to party! You guys are almost the perfect narcissists! (except for the metrosexual... but we don't talk about them.... shhhh)

Oh dear. I need to go on a diving holiday. (no, not a m**f diving holiday! silly! I meant a scuba diving holiday!!)

Right, with that thought in mind. I shall sign off. Do more research, take my sleepy pills, for it is nearly 2am.... (shit, what are the chances of one of my ex's calling me up 2 nite? anyone want to put any odds on this one??)

Anyway, good night.