Conversations with Blog

Disclaimer: This is an excerpt of one of my conversations with my blog, Drunken Wench Ramblings, on the meaning of existence.

B: DWR, can I ask you a question?

D: Sure, Blog, what do you want to know? How can I help you?

B: (silence)

D: Go on, I'm here for you. You wanted to ask me a question, right?

B: Well... I want to know where I came from. And whether I really exist, or am I just part of your imagination. A series of stories that are in your mind and you already know exactly what is going to happen to me... coz all these other blogs, you see, they all say that we don't really exist, and that our world doesn't exist, and we are nothing but a collection of other people's thoughts sitting in a giant server.

D: Why, Blog, don't be silly, of course you exist! Think about it, you have just questioned your own existence, right? Even IF the world you live is nothing but a series of codes and encryptions, that doesn't mean that you don't exist! Don't be silly! You receive information from the outside world thru the key board, and also the blog.links in your template, you get to project your opinions after you processed it onto other people's screen, if that's not real, I don't know what is? You've already had over 500 visitors since we put that counter in your template on Nov 26th. What about all those hits you receive? And anyway, who's been talking all this rubbish to you. Phuh, telling you that you are not real. You are about as real as my hard drive that just got out of IT for attempted suicide! I don't know, the both of you. Why do I have depressed technology around me!

B: But, DWR, how do I know that all these things that I feel, and am linked to are real? I have absolutely no proof that all the bits and bytes are nothing but a part of a scenario -- something made up, and I have absolutely no control over what I say, feel, and do. I'm not even sure if I am even talking to you!! I have NO PROOF that this is just one of your monologues!

D: (silence) Well... to be honest with you, I also don't know if *I* exist, or even you for that matter. I have no idea if all my perceived senses: vision, hearing, touch, smell, and taste are just part of a computer program - a scenario - as you said, and me sitting here talking to you was already pre-programmed and I have absolutely no control over anything - not even my emotions, because my emotions are also preprogrammed to activate at a certain time, after a certain trigger. And the words I speak to you, well they were already predetermined *before* I even say them...

B: Shit. You and I are really alike, DWR. Wow, we have the same thoughts!!

D: Yeah... Hey, did you know that a philosopher called Descartes also questioned the existence of our physical world -- you know, like the matrix?

B: Yeah?

D: Well he came to the conclusion that even if our external world was all an illusion, the one thing that we knew for certain was our own existence. Cogito, ergo sum. I think, therefore I am.

B: Brilliant! Yeah, I see what you mean. I'm having thoughts right now, so I must exist. Cool... But you know what? I heard from one of those Yahoo links that there's something called the Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce, and...

D: Oh no, you didn't did you? Please don't tell me that you went to it!

B: Well, yes I did. It said: Cogito cogito, ergo cogito sum. It sounds similar to what you said, but it's not quite the same, DWR. What does it mean? I don't know Latin and all my friends didn't know either.

D: (sigh) I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.... Oh dear. We're back to square one again... yes, we don't know if all this is an illusion, nor can we be certain that our thoughts are our own... But one thing I can tell you, Blog. Whether it's real or not real, it's all a farce to me!

(Thank you Ambrose, I don't need *another* confused voice! I've had too many to deal with recently. Jeez, how can you go around putting *real* thoughts into my blog.... shame on you, and shame on your Devil's Dictionary! And don't you *DARE* go and talk to my HDD about life!)