Jesus Was a Pisces, Not a Capricorn?!

Disclaimer: I'm sorry if I offend anyone who is a Capricorn, or even a Capricorn born on Dec.25th. This is just a thought, my theory on the actual date of Christ's birthday. Just because I have an opinion, it doesn't change anything. You are a Capricorn, and as soon as we finish Halloween, we will continue to be bombarded by Christmas ads, inflated prices for "Christmasy" items, re-runs of Wizard of Oz, A Christmas Carol, and all those old films shown on TV during this period, and children sending letters to (S)anti-Claus asking for something that they *need* to have.... Bah, humbug, and a Merry Christmas to everyone.

I'm not religious, but I have read the New Testiment during my "Religious Educaction" classes at school. I also have many close family members and compassionate friends who are Pisces. I have worked with many, hard working Capriorns, and I have observed their traits and what makes them motivated.... I have been musing with this idea for some time, and on friday I shared my idea with my good friend, C, who is a professional astrologer, and a painter, and after hearing what I had to say she agreed with me, and even told me that there is a circle of professional astrologers who had also made this observation.

Jesus doesn't exhibit too many Capricornian traits...

I don't think Jesus was born on Dec. 25th, or any time between Dec 22nd and Jan 18th for that matter. I think that Jesus was born sometime between Feb 19th and March 20th making him a Pisces. And that is my theory. Let me explain why I think he's a pisces:

Capricorn Traits:

Capricorn is a feet-on-the-ground, eye-on-the-prize sign. Those with Sun in Capricorn have a realistic, grounded approach to life that can be seen no matter how dreamy the rest of the birth chart suggests. These people know how to do things, and to get things done. (OK, stop right there. Here's a man with a steady job, his father's trade - carpentry. In those days carpentry will get you most places. If you are sensible you can even expand your family business so that your kids can carry on -- perhaps one of the girls can marry a blacksmith, another good trade. but no. At age 30, what does Jesus do? Go on a "journey" of self discovery.... Capricorn my arse!)

Capricorns like to pare things down, and take pleasure in the simple things in life. However, many are attracted to status symbols and these ones will wear the best clothes (tasteful ones!) and drive quietly impressive cars. (Hell! In all the pictures I've seen of Jesus, he is wearing tattered ol' clothes, doesn't even shave, and those fucking sandals! Where were the Fashion Police in those days?? Nah, he's defo not Capricorn)

Comparing Capricorns to their symbol, the goat, brings up some interesting analogies. Solar Capricorns can see into the future, and plan for it. They don't mind taking things slowly, but they absolutely aim to get to the top of the mountain in life! They make their way steadily and sure-footedly; and their strength and singleness of purpose are admirable. (Well, Jesus most certainly didn't plan anything did he? I mean, if he knew that there was going to be a crowd following him around, surely he would have said to one of his disciples, Ok, dude, do we have enough food to feed these guyz, coz I've only got 7Liras on me and I see no vendors around here. Hmm.... maybe this would be a good business opportunity. If I bring in the crowds, you guyz can open up hawker stalls and sell some Kebabs to these people. Oh and some wine too. Right, let's get some action going.... See, now that's a smart Capricorn in operation!! They are one of the most resourceful and hardworking people of the zodiac.)

Now, let's look at Pisces Traits:

As the twelfth and last sign of the zodiac, Pisces contains within itself a little experience of all the signs. This gives Pisces Suns the ability to identify with people from all walks of life--from all backgrounds--in some way. These individuals are not only changeable and adaptable, they have open minds and tremendous understanding. But Pisces itself is often misunderstood. Pisces Suns may spend a good portion of their lives yearning for understanding, and the other part in a state of divine discontent. Suffering is sometimes glamorized in the Piscean world. (Do I need to add any comments to this paragraph? First of all Jesus hung round with prostitutes (without using their services!) and leppers, and discruntled members of the fishing society... How many times did he have to go off on his own to talk to his "father" (inner voice) , because he was always confused about being "misunderstood", and oh why there is so much "suffering" around him. And his dying words:" My God, My God, why has thou foresaken me?" Eihew, Eihew, Oh Me Miserum... FUCK ME! Shit, I've heard more melodrama from a faggot who's just broken up with "his man"! Yes, L, that is soooo YOU!! And you know it!!! I *KNOW* you are a Pisces, don't deny it, my sparkly eyed friend! I hope things work out with C tho'...)

Sun in Pisces people are frequently pegged as wishy-washy, but this is all a matter of opinion. What you will find behind a vaguely directionless, spacey manner is a deep person with real dreams. Their dreams are more than getting that picket fence or making it up the corporate ladder. Pisces are tuned in to a higher purpose and their dreams transcend the individual. A deep love for humanity, and compassion that knows no bounds is found with this placement of the Sun. (See, that's why he quit a perfectly good, steady job like carpentry. He probably became a carpenter to please his parents, but waited till he was 30 to say, no, I want to do humanitarian things. This ain't me. Only a Pisces will just act upon his emotion like that. I bet he never even planned how much money he needs to keep his "humanitarian mission to save us from our sins", I bet he didn't have a business plan to run his NPO -- I know a Capricorn would have!)

Many Pisces seem almost allergic to things like shopping lists, maps, directions, and instructions, and for some brave souls, even watches -- they prefer to feel their way through life than to follow some plan. (I bet you if you mapped out the route of Jesus's journey for those 3 years that he was trying to save our sins, you will see absolutely no pattern whatsoever! I bet it would look like a 2 year-old's drawing of a cat! Yes, Jesus puts a new dimention to the words "wondering like the lost tribe of Israel..."


One other thing that made me think Jesus was a Pisces was when I thought about the Nativity. Ovulation in ewes is stimulated by the amount of sunlight -- they basically come in season in the autumn. When you think of the gestation period of a lamb, the earliest you find lamb being born is in early Feb in warmer places, and the latest Early May. It's nature's way of protecting lambs from exposure, I suppose... Now WTF are there shepherds looking after lambs when Jesus is born? Why is he sharing a cradle with LAMBS??? Are they premature, and the vets/shepherds desparately trying to resusitate them? There is something wrong with the picture there, don't you think? Lambs in midwinter???

If I remember the old testament, it took the Jews an entire "book" of Exodus to get themselves from Egypt to Israel. The last time I looked at the world map, I remember that you only need to walk in a straight line (north east) to get from Egypt to Israel. Not that hard, once you get your coordinates, right? Unless they were permanently on Calamus or chewing Khatt all day long, that you couldn't be bothered to move; but these people took way too long to go in a straight line. They probably had no idea of basic navigation. How did people navigate in the old days before magentism and GPS? By looking at the stars. And how did people calculate the dates? By looking at the stars.... They probably had no clue which date Jesus was born on. The Israelites probably discovered economics before mathematics!!

I'm sorry if I have offended anyone with my musings (including all my good Jewish friends) , but there are many things that make no sense to me about Christ's birth. If someone had loads of time, money, and wanted to study this, perhaps they can discover Christ's real birthday and add another "Christmas" to our calendar -- say May 3rd -- so we can enjoy another round of commercial celebrations just before Easter!

What do you think?

(Post script: The DWR's sun sign is Libra with her moon in Pisces, Mars in Taurus, Venus in Sagittarius, Mercury in Scorpio, and an ascendant in Capricorn. If that means anything.... )