Now that I am in my "semi" detox stage (I cheated last night after a "team" dinner. I shared a bottle of chardonnay with my two colleagues... and had a grappa with my cheese cake) I wanted to take on this subject that I have been itching to write about.
Substance abuse. By this I mean abusing exogenous chemicals, whether it's ethanol, prescription "happy" drugs, nicotine, deltaTHC (aka. my good friend Ghan Ja), or class A drugs like smack, speed, XTC, PCP, Acid, Special K's, etc....
"Smack, Crack, and Pot"
I must admit that in my youth I was more stoned than drunk. I didn't have much urge to drink; I lived above a pub, and drinking 6 pints of snake-bite (larger and cider) and a pint of Guinness for the road, only to puke it all up, and waking up with a hangover next to a stranger did not appeal to me. I also used to like going to my doctor and tell him about my sleeping "difficulties" -- which is very normal in my world, but apparently not to theirs -- and get cool drugs, mainly benzodiazepines (my friends Jell-E and Rho-E) to take that edge off things after a heavy night on the town.
But I used to wonder -- hang on? Am I an addict?
Where is the fine line between drug use and drug abuse. And what about the line between drug abuse and drug addition? (This question is also extended to alcohol and to nicotine) Is a little old lady who has a small glass of sherry every night for a night cap an alcoholic?? Does my daily routine of prescription drugs and a bottle of wine warrant me a one way ticket to the Betty Ford clinic?
Where am I? Who am I on the bell curve??? Or am I so close to the median, I need to go out there, like Timothy Leary, experiment, and find out where the fine line is by crossing it?
I resisted taking LSD for a long time, because I didn't want my mind "altered" (I like it's current Dali-esque state juuust as it is, thank you.) When I took it for the first time I entered a trip believing that everyone I had met was a figment of my imagination, one of my inner voices, because I already "knew" what they were going to say -- before they even said it. But you see, dear readers, I'm one of those annoying people who often "finish" people's sentences off, so regardless of my mental state I was just doing what I do naturally.
After I came back I already had a theory on LSD induced hallucinations: LSD disrupts the relay, or the switch system, in the mid brain called basal ganglia by binding to the 5HT receptors (to be specific, I think it's receptors in the substantia nigra in the BG), and we lose our ability to process incoming information. For example our eyes are constantly moving, adjusting and flickering so that we don't burn our retinas. In our "normal" state we can filter the minor adjustments in visual information fed to our brains using our relay system to decipher a clear image of our external world that we perceive. But under the influence of LSD, we are not able to differentiate the different light signals coming from a single source, and hence many people experience hallucinations where objects or people's faces appear to "melt". (have you ever tried holding a pen loosely on the end and wiggling it? And it looks like it's made from rubber? Same sort of thing). I can also explain the rainbows we see in a light bulb too: we cannot filter out diffraction in our eyeballs when we are high. Needless to say, after my observation, my interest in LSD went straight back to zero.
Ok, so I will probably never be addicted to Acid. That was easy.
One of the shadiest characters that I have ever known said the most profound thing about substance abuse. I was very surprised, because he's the sort of person that if you'd asked him to look after your cats for the weekend, the first thing he'll do is sell them to the local Chinese restaurant, and when you return he'll say: Oh they got run-over, and I buried them in the back garden, when all he's buried in your garden is either a) a stash of illegal weapons, b) counterfeit money c) fake passports, or d) drugs. Yup, he's one of *those* guyz. He said one day, from behind a cloud of purple haze:
Abuse drugs, alcohol, whatever. But don't let it abuse you...
(oh, and he didn't charge me for the consultation either, but he did smoke a lot of our stash.)
With this in mind I shall re-evaluate my drinking habits, and keep everything in moderation.
Detox to resume....
2 comments:
perhaps it's the absence of booze in my sysem but it seems to me that my last two posts were quite forceful and militant...
Maybe I will expore more femine attributed to write about tomoro.
whadda U think, guyz? I'm not always this militant... I promise...
Militant is not a good word to use, but I say it is a good post no matter if your sober or not. Hold on...
*takes a hit*
That is the ticket... Yup the post is still good. Way to be kid.
I have been slacking on here and am now just catching up.
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