Friday, December 17, 2004

Advertising. I'm Selling Out!!

As you know, dear readers, the number of posts per day on this blog have been dwindling lately, for I have many serious issues that I wish to post. Very serious; and it requires a lot of interviews. At the same time Nutts and I are also wading thru the muddy process of getting my blog to it's new home so we can reach a broader audience to hear my inner voice...

In the past I have thought about advertising so that I can make a living out of doing something that I enjoy. Almost like my current job as a management consultant: I tell pharma companies and chemical manufacturers to clean up their act by designing and implementing EMS (environment management systems) such as SAP's EHS module, which is part of the SAP PLM solution, and make sure that the pharma co/chemical co's shipment of "toxic goo" crosses boarders, waters, and your highways safely, fully compliant under national AND international dangerous goods logistics/occupational health and safety/environmental regulations. I also tell them to how to cut down costs, reduce time to market, and all that jazz, so that old people can get their Jellies and Viagra cheaper.

I have resisted soooo many times to go commercial, for my philosophy and my only intension is to share my stories, other people's stories, my thoughts, my observations, and my time to those that share theirs with me.... but alas, the time for me to sell out has come.

I will go and join some affiliate, or another, and someone can pay me to write. I'll continue my day job, of course (otherwise I will not be able to get my monthly facials at Boudoir). But somehow, somewhere, I need financial assistance to give me more *time* to expand my blog.

I'm selling out. Big time! So, for my first sell out here it is:

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Watch the The Horde ShowTM!! Available On PC's All Over The Planet!
Don't Miss Da First Episode of The Horde Show!TM
Available Only On-Line....
(warning: show contains strong language not suitable for kiddies and prissies)

"It is hilarious! It is neo-satire! It is a fusion of Monty Python, The Blair Witch Project, Trigger Happy TV, Beavis and Butthead, Ren and Stimpy, South Park, and more!!! " -- The Drunken Wench Ramblings

"I can't believe you can watch this shit for free!! Yes, FOR FREE!!!! No need for money back guarantees, coz you get it ALL 4 FREE!!!!" -- D.W.Rambler

"These guyz are too funny! Tickled my funny bone!" -- The DWR

>>>>>>>>>>>>
phew. now that wasn't too bad now, was it, DWR. You can now contact Amazon, Boudoir, Channel 4 TV productions, SAP, and tell them that you just provided advertising space for them. As for the producers of The Horde Show, well, y'know.... They kinda sponsor your site anyway, so give them the ad space for free. It's not that big, plus, they don't send you nasty spam like DR/MRS what's her(his) name from Nigeria.
>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dear readers, I decided to advertise The Horde Show, for I am currently researching my country's laws on freedom of speech, and the press. The US, where The Horde Show was conceived and filmed, has in it's First Amendment the right to freedom of speech, and the press.

There are many countries today that do not guarantee it's people (such as China or North Korea) the right to speak freely and to express themselves. Today we have technology that goes beyond borders as a medium for these people to speak freely. But they are still monitored... and oppressed. My country's constitution gives me freedom of speech, and publication, but it reserves the rights to "censor" textbooks of our youth so that the Ministry of Education can hide our history of our military agression in the 20th century... (I bet it was someone like OJ's lawyers that drafted my constitution!!!)

I admire the spirit of the producers of The Horde Show. They didn't like watching Murdock TV, so they made their own show! Brilliant!
To the producers of The Horde Show: Ok, not everyone may see your sense of humour (I really *loved* the WaterMelonvangelist and Hunter Todd's Shoes!!!), but that's OK. I don't expect everyone to like what I write, but I write anyway, so I think it's a good start, and I think you should keep going. I hope you appreciate your freedom to express your work, for there are millions of people out there who get executed, or locked up in internment camps for doing what you did. Yes, I'll admit that just as Japan has it's flaws, so does your country, but please count yourself lucky, for you would have been executed by now if you were a resident of North Korea. (and as for managing your finances? well... I suggest that you post subsequent episodes for a small fee... with SPAM. I can put you in touch with a certain DR/MRS. KEMA CHIKWE who seems to be an expert in that area... of course for a small consulting fee. (riiiiiight)
Keep it as it is! Freedom to Speak! Freedom to Shout! Freedom to Express Your Views!!!

Freedom. I love that word...

(Postscript: many, many thanks to my dear friend, C, who has helped me to take the bold step, and make that decision to enter the "market"... Thanks for all your advice, C. I really *do* need help! Writing and trying to start up a business AND hold a full time job? Not that easy.... but I will do it. For there are many messages that need to be told. Thank you, C.)

16 comments:

Ouija27 said...

Well I am just absolutely floored, my dear DWR. I do not know how one could pay you back for such kindness, but you can bet I will do my best, yes indeed.
Still I cannot believe that you took the time to watch the show, I am very honored by that. And this post, is like the cherry on top of the whip cream. I truely thank you DWR.
On the topic of freespeech, I must admit that at times we just take it for granted in our county. I guess when we were making the first show, none of us really thought about the fact that if we were in N. Korea we would be killed for this display of something that we call The Horde Show. It was odd, but last night my neighbor came over, and he wanted to see the show. So we watched and it was not until then that I realized how much profanity is in the show. I was kind of taken back seeing my self use such language. I know I tend to swear a lot, but damn, the show took it a bit overboard maybe. Anyway, how tragic it would be to be killed for doing such a thing as trying to express yourself. DWR is very correct in saying that our country is blessed in such a way. However we do have many faults, too many to list in fact, besides the real issue here is not on my countries faults... maybe save that for next week huh? But we (all of us at The Horde Show and in the produciton studio) are very thankful for our free speech. We have expressed this in the past to ourselves, I think next tiem we meet I will remind them of this great thing that we have...
FREEDOM.
Really what the show is about is just a number of people trying to have a good time, even though I think I had the most fun. The main intent is to entertain and not have to deal with the bullshit you see on your actual TV. Because we all know that TV just keeps pumping out more and more grabage, which I am told the networks call shows?! So we are redoing the whole thing, and it is all uncensroed, and you can be assure DWR that nothing much will change in that manner. With the passing of time, the show will more than likely evolve and the setting or mood may vary, but it will stay raw and ghetto because that is what we know. Make believe is just so fun, like mousey or Nutts for example, it is fun.
And of cousrs each show will continue to be free for all to view. There will eventually be an oppurtunity for people to buy a number of shows on a DVD colleciton, which will contain outtakes, deleted scenes, and other extra things. That will also be loads of fun, and I can speculate that when it comes out, a free extra copy of the dvd will be wanting to be shipped to some woman in Japan with the initals of DWR, I do hope it would get to show our apperication for this post and all those that came before it including any comments. More on that later though... Know that we are really thank full DWR.
Wow, so I reread the post that she just posted, and it is soo cool. I am all smiles just knowing that you saw it and liked it.
I think I speak for all of us here at Penguin Juice productions when I say your the best. As my lounge states this blog right here is the creme de la creme. Wait you know what this means... well at least to some extent... The Horde Show is Internation! WoW, cool. Even if it is just one person out side our country, you are not in the US so we be international. Very exciting. Ohhh what a thought I have just had!
DWR, a proposal for you... would you be OK with it, if P.J.P. (penguin juice producitons) makes a commerical for the debut of http://www.drunkenwenchramblings.com? Or there is the option that you can do one if you wish, but your time seems presious, and we would not want to burden you with it, but we will gladly do one for you. You would of course get to approve it before it is aired. Well think it over. Yes that would be fun to do up.
OK I will stop my rambling about how great this post is. Bottom line here is:
THANK YOU DWR
The Horde has nothing but love for you, Nutts, and your blog (which is in a metamorphsis into a website).

(I would like to hear what the blog has to say about the upgrade to a website. If you recall DWR fan's, the post namend "Conversations with Blog" or something to that effect. How do you suppose Blog feels about this? I bet it is indiffernt, but I could be wrong?)

xxxxx - 5 hugs for you DWR one for each Horde member. Thanks

M said...

I see a lot of BS and not much writing.

M.

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

M, as I said to all my readers, sorry for the dry spell in *realpost*... I hate to ramble about stuff without putting much thought and research into what I write about... I don't think it's fair to the people that I write about, and I don't think it's fair to my honest readers....

Once I get my pics developed, interviews finished, research over, etc. I promise to add a breath of fresh air to my blog... but alas.... I only have 24hrs in a day, it is now 4:30am, I have a full-time job, and I need to get to the office by 10am...(i know, sounds like a lame excuse, but it's fact)

Hope you have it in your heart to visit again. Have a cup of tea, chill out, and maybe you'll find something interesting in my archives. I suggest that you go to my Nov. archives. That seems to have more *nice* stuff than any other.
DWR

Ouija27 said...

M maybe right, a lot of BS, but damn M... GIve DWR a break. While I am very bias on this new post, I would rather read her ramblings of BS, than have nothing to read at all.
Maybe your just having a bad day and not in the mood for light BS today. Reread it tomarrow, you might like the post more. Just a thought.

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

oui,
je comprend le Fransais, mais ma spelling c'est merde... Je connais que quois de le "Creme de la Creme". Merci, mon amie, O, pour la comments...

god, my french is rusty!!! I need a holiday in Antibes....

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

remember boyz and girlz... I am going "commercial". (totally against my will&urges...) tired I am, for it is past 5am in TKO.... need sleep, need to hit sack, need to get laid (ok, that's a different story all together.)

Good night. Read well.

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

p.s. Nutts *does* really exist.... I know it sounds disturbing, but I speak to her all the time... I never refer to myself in the first person, for Nutts and I need to agree....

Should I be locked up??

Ouija27 said...

First I know that Nutts exists, I am also on that level but many do not really understand it, so I just tell them it is make believe, they can understand that. Now let me try my Frecnh...

Vous êtes DWR bienvenu. Tandis que mon Frecnh n'est pas celui bon, je pourrais lire votre message. Cependant mon écriture dans beaucoup français des besoins de travail, et moi ne pouvons pas le parler pour n'importe quoi. Lue juste et écrivent un peu de Frecnh.

I am not really sure if that is correct, but it might be close.

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

wow... I thought they made you sit thru spanish classes at school in the US, not French!?? (yes, I had to sit thru 6 years of french but has it been useful? no. all my french friends speak FANTASTIC english!!!) BTW, did they also make you learn German, or something -- oui and ja? Or are you just a scientist who believes in mysticism?? Perhaps you have more time than me and can connect to the likes of Mystic Bob.....

Do you want to sell me some of your time?

GAWD!! What an awful thought!!! Asking someone to sell you their time!!! Shame on you, DWR, shame....

Get back to work, you hung-over wench!!! Go research something about Pharma M&A.... Go look over that stuff on Yamanouchi/Fujisawa. I'm not *paying* you to blog, damn it! Cruise dat net, turn more tricks, you stupid, lazy bitch! Jeez! And get off that soap box!!!

Yes, sweet daddy. Anything for you...

Ouija27 said...

The french was just a hobby of mine for a little while. I also kinda cheated when writing that by looking up a few words.

So about the latter part of your last comment, I am lost. I am not sure what that was all about, but I say go with it.

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

oh, don't mind me. rambling to myself again... to my pimp, oops I mean my boss. He pushes you hard, and drives a hard bargain!!

(btw, have you read any Iceberg Slim books? Now he's a real *getto* warrior!! One of my favourite African-American authors.... One of a kind.

(hmm. I see another thought/post coming.... SHIT I NEED MORE TIME!!!)

Ouija27 said...

No I have not read any of Iceburg slims material. I have seen some Dolimite films though. He is cool as fuck. Really not all that ghetto though.

Sorry to hear your pimp pushes hard. What are you gonna do?

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

defo read the slim material. I suggest "Mama Black Widow" and "Pimp: The Story of My Life".

As for my big daddy (ehem, boss), well, I just ignore him and post comments on my blog. Just as I am doing right now. I just give him status reports once a day. That seems to suffice.

FUCK! I'm multi-tasking! I'm introspective according to Jung, I don't do this naturally!!! WHAT IS GOING ON!!!

I need a drink.....

Oh, BTW, why do I not smoke dope anymore? Well... I grew up in England where it is customary to smoke Gan-ja with Baccy (tabacco)... not good for my lungs, lah. I developed chronic bronchial asthma 6 years ago... I should learn to do it "american style" but alas, we don't have much land to grow our sensimilia. The only crap that we get looks like rabbit shit. And I am NOT going to soke something that looks like rabbit shit!! (Plus it probably came out of some "courier's" arse... not my style... My cats's shit look more "appetising"...)

yes, I need to get out of the office, and get a drink... Aha! It's nearly lunch time. The pubs are opening! Hmmm...

Anonymous said...

Actually, M is onto something. People come hear because you expose the obvious in a thoughtful way. What's more, your frameworks and different experiences extend people's consciousness to their own world - instead of just traveling through life, you help some people awaken for some moments during the journey. M also was actually you doing a favour by pointing it out. As much as o appears to be supportive and enamoured, most of your supporting audience actually never stops for that spot o' tea, but prefers to sit back and ponder. If no else will, I thank you M for caring. As for you, DWR, back to that writing tablet for you have volunteered for this indentureness and we are spoilt! :)

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

yes, you are right, anonymous one. let me get back to my draft on belle and george....

huh.

Belle and George in a mo'

Anonymous said...

BuBz The Troll (posting anonymously because I don't feel like keeping a blogger account) I played Mark the drunken reporter and the right side old-guy movie reviewer (I don't think they had names)on the Horde Show. It was a lot of work but still fun to do this show. Thanks on behalf of PJP to DWR for the shoutout.