Coming Out

Coming out can mean different things to different people. Most people will associate these words with homosexual people "coming out" about their sexual orientation to their family and friends. Some people may even further associate these words with a cheating partner "coming out" to reveal their affair, or a person "coming out" to their family about having quit their 7million yen-a-year, stable job to pursue their dream to become a restauranteur.

(Or even children "coming out" to their parents about getting Fs in spelling and cursive at school, which I often did!)

Today, dear readers, I am coming out... of my wardrobe.

I'm a shy person. A very shy person.

There.

This is not something that started yesterday or today; it has been ongoing for years. Ever since I was a small child I had difficulties making friends, for the fear of opening my mouth and saying the wrong thing, or be rejected for asking them if the other kids wanted to play. In particular I was shy amongst adults, I suppose it was a natural tendency for me to seek acceptance from my elders; I wanted to be a "good girl".

This shy nature of mine continued right the way to my adulthood; when I first went to college, because I was not living in the dorms like the other students (I was living with my X at the time) , I would go home for lunch rather than face the strangers in the canteen. Most of them had already made "clans" by the first week, because they shared dorms and knew each other. It took me nearly 3 months to make a friend -- and even then it was Freddie who approached me, and introduced me to her circle of friends, not the other way round. (Thank you, Freddie, without you I wouldn't have met Jon, Dominic, Beccy, and Damon, and I don't think the 6 of us would have had such a fun time at college!)

Even in my professional life -- same thing -- people approach me, introduce me to people. I am never the instigator of a conversation. Never (up until recently) have I gone up to a stranger and said: Hi, and started small talk.

(To all extroverts reading this, please *teach* me the art of small talk!!)

Anyway, back to my wardrobe. In ancient times before we had the tool of writing, stories were often handed down thru generations by "story tellers" or by the "village wise(wo)man". They stood in front of a crowd, all eyes fixed on them, and wove their tapestry of tales. In Japanese we called these ancient story tellers "kataribe". They were not shy -- in fact they loved coming out in the open to tell their stories to many people, and expanding their imagination.

But do you kow what? Amongst those who were listening to the Kataribes, there were more talented storytellers, but unfortunately their tales were never told, and lost when they left the world. Today we call these silent Kataribes writers, for instead of standing in front of a huge crowd, they convey their rich inner minds thru the tool of writing. They show the world what lies beyond the doors of the wardrobe -- a mystic, magical land, called Narnia.

I, too, am a kataribe, albeit a shy one.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

--Dr. Seuss

So, to all of you shy people who live in their wardrobes -- open those doors! Let others see your Narnia!