One hand on the wheel, the other on the joy stick

I have now lived in Japan - on and off - for 7 years, and this place (my country!) never ceases to amaze me. There are so many perverts here that I do not know where to begin!

There are the those called "chikans": the gropers on crowded trains who will rub their enlarged(?) genitals onto any part of your body (or stick their hands down/into your skirt); there are the flashers who will stand really close to you in a lift/elevator and open up to show you their pathetic, saluting member when you are alone; and there are the guyz who will walk up to you in the streets late at night asking you if could watch them masturbate in public... and the list goes on.

Usaully comments like "Sorry, I need to put my glasses on to see that", or "whoa, dude, I think you need to go and seek medical help for *THAT* or else you'll end up pissing razor blades if you don't have it cleared" keeps them at bay. But there are other kinds of perverts in Japan that you cannot make them go away with your words. This is the story of my encounter with one of those perves that I will never forget....

(I really wished that day I had a camera.)

I was on a bus going from Asakusa to Kinshicho, and, in my usual fashion, I was sitting by the window watching the outside world. The bus stopped at a red light and next to this bus pulled up a car, which was obviously a company car, for it had the name and bright yellow logo pasted on the side of the brilliant white, new car. It was a company car of one of the most famous realestate agents in the "new era" (21st Century?) Say no more...

I looked down as the car slowed down for the red light... and there it was, dear readers. I had to look twice to make sure I wasnt having an acid flash back: this man, who was driving his company car, had his monkey out and was spanking it!!! What was he thinking?? I must admit that most people who drive a car would not see him chopping away at his purple helmet, but it is very visible from larger vehicles like buses and trucks that have an elevated view.

I just couldn't believe my eyes. For the next 40 seconds he continued to stoke himself in a slow, deliberate rhythm; as soon as the light turned green he turned left and we continued forward...

If only I had a camera that day!!! I could have had some materials for PrysLess. The caption woul read something like this:

• Price of a new company car: US$52,800
• Price of a new suit to see your client: US$1,900
• Price of getting your pictured taken wanking in your company car with the name of your company splashed all over it (Century 21) : Pryseless!!

Why are there so many pervertes in Tokyo...