Pensions, Baby-Boomers, and Coming of Age

Today is a public holiday in Japan. Today is "Coming of Age Day" (yeah, I know. WTF? riiiiiight! I hear you, but it's a holiday so I don't really care). On Coming of Age Day people who turned 20 last year (i.e. totally fucking *legal*) go to shrines, dressed in their Kimonos, and the local Town Hall to celebrate their entry into "Always-Always Land". This year a record low figure of 1,500,000 people celebrated their adulthood by shouting profanities at the govenor/mayor, guzzled sake on the streets with their mates, and got caught for drink driving (well, the smart ones got away...).

Just like most western countries, my country's dwindling birthrates, coupled with the almost absent immigration policy (i.e. we let only students and tourists in- temporari sutei onri - no one else, not even political asylum seekers), has created a serious situation where our state pension funds are, well, um, running on empty.

Next year the first bunch of Japan's post war "Baby-Boomers" are turning 60. They are going to be sending forms to their local social security departments telling them "Hello, it's smeee. I've turned 60!! Happy Birthday SMEEEE! Now, where the fuck's my pension? I've got another 28 years to live, and I don't have to work anymore! Weya da fucki mai mani?" So if those 1,500,000 twenty-year olds this year do not get into the Suits, and start paying into the state pension scheme, I'm fucked. Coz I'm the Suit that is going to be supporting millions, and millions of healthy pensioners who are living longer, and longer, and longer.... They sit around playing "Gate-Ball" (a game very similar to croquet), demand that we give them our seats on public transport, create a "slow" lane on trekking routes, and now they are going to increase my taxes. These old feckers are invincible!! They don't die, they are all healthy, and now they want "pocket-money" from me!!!

Coming of age indeed. In "Always-Always Land" I am always, always asked to cough up my dough. Yokoso! Welcome all 1,500,000 twenty-year olds in Japan to "Always-Always Land". You are now legally eligible to smoke, to drink, to vote, and to cough up dosh like me!

(Post Script: I'm a "2nd Generation" Baby Boomer. And although I grumble about young people who chose unemployment as a career path (oh, I'll tell you about the NEETs in a mo') it's the likes of me -- the thirty-somethings -- who are still single, have no kids, and say "Oh, my career, it's hot in here!" I am guilty as charged for creating this problem, and I sit here, blog away, and blame everyone else for my own smelly shit. But it's OK. I'm the DWR, I always have *something* to rub the blame on. I'm going to blame that fucking "lump" residing on my pancreas!!!

I'm going to call today the "Blame it On The Lump" day.)

Living, Trying Things, And Living Some More

Once upon a time, there was a young lady called the Drunken Wench Rambler. She was a lovely young lass, who loved to cheer her boyfriends, her Fuck Buddies, her friends, and anyone else in between (and without). She loved to try anything, and everything, just to keep them happy and smiling, because the world that she saw was not as pleasant as she wished it to be. Peace was a priceless commodity for her. She really thought so... really, honest, with sugar on top.

So, what has the DWR tried (including things that she hates, e.g. bend over and ask how much *sand* the "client" wanted in the vaseline (with a smile)? All for the sake of love? Um, her job?) "Happy Happy, Joy Joy" Let's have a look:

• Reverse bungeee (hated it!!!!. don't even want 2 *think* about doing dat again. Not even da right way round!!!)
• Snowboarding (hate. I prefer going *UP* mountains, not sliding/falling on my arse down them.)
• Trekking (absolutely, fucking love!! Climb+Mountain= Gooood! But Slide+Mountain= Baaaaad.)
• Bouldering/free climbing (both hate&love -- will X-plain L8R)
• Wakeboarding (love!!! watersports done in a *warm* location!!! (hate cold). This is the only boardin' "dat be do-able" according to DWR.)
• Yoga (my life, my love, my YoooooooGaaaaaaaah!!)
• Windsurfing (totally neutral. wish had more "lessons". Fell over, never got my sail up, was totally crap.)
• Scuba diving ("I am a *fish*, and a *fish I am." damn it! I *B* is a phiche!! Yes, I am a dive junkie.)
• Go-Carting (LOVE. So damn ironic, coz I don't even HAVE a driver's license!! Priceless!! teehee)
• Going to Spa's (there is no such thing as too much pampering at da spa!!)
• Eating "Benji's sandwiches" (located near the Aldwich, London) while I cut up dead people's heads (neutral-but closer to like. More a necessity especially when hungry. I used to get told off by my "tutors" at college for eating sandwichs during my neuroanatomy classes. Several times actually.... WHY?? What's wrong with eating while I slice the pons medulla? Hey, I did *well* in my neuroanatomy class, damn it! I've been a suit now for yonks, and I can still identify the thalamus and the substantia nigra -- give me a sample, a microscope, and a sandwich. I'll *do* it!!
• Trail-running (love. none other!!!! join me!!!!! let's run together!!!)
• "War Games" -- (OK, only if warm. If cold and rainy, sucks.)
• Reading Manga (Maaaannnngaaaaaaaaaa. DWR is *addicted* to japanese animation from age 4. I own over 1000 manga comics. My friends come to my house just to read my comics!! "3x3eyes", "CHA-I-RUDO" "Perfect Blue", "Urotsuki-doji", "Inuyasha""Kochiikame". DWR, owns the full-series--serious!! I probably own some classics -- antiques even!!) . Galaxy Express 999 also a true classic; anything by Osamu Tetsuga, also in my collection. Come to my "library", and you shall C!!!
• Rafting (neutral. OK, I suppose. Depends on who you go with.)
• One-night stands: booooorrrriiiiiing. (yawn!)
• Fall in love. (been there, done that, and got the scars to prove it! shit, I should design T-shirts! Oh, I may have a new vocation!)

Actually, there are countless more. I wish I could list all of them, but hey, I don't think there is enuf space in the *server* to keep all that shite. You know why? My brain is *actually* a lot bigger than the damned server!!!

Mind boggling, huh? Ok, so my brain is 1.35kgs (approx), and it can store more information and have more crap/goodstuff in it than blogger.com's resident server.

(Umm... DWR, you just revealed to everyone that you are, um, a geek. Do you realise that?)

Oops.

Full Frontal Medical (Part 6 & 7 -- Results)

(Part 6: I wrote this on Dec. 31th)

Dear readers, I know that some of you read about my expensive, annual, full-on medical examination that I went thru at the begining of this month.... well I got my full results on Dec 29th.

They found a "lump" on my pancreas when they did an ultrasound, and they want me to go for further detailed examinations to see what it's all about, for it wasn't there last year.... I was hoping that I could get an appointment at the docs before the end of the year. NOT. (all I got on the answering machine was "we will be on holiday from the 29th thu the 6th of January, have a nice day")

Fuck your "have a nice days!!!"

My first thoughts were: "Why me? What the fuck is going on? Yes, I abused my body (physically and psychologically in my youth), but I'm only 31? WTF?? Did I do anything bad to get this?" But the feeling is more of emptiness than of anger. My brother is stuck in Sri Lanka, my mum is nearly losing it (I think her mind is blank right now. She is slowly -- only now -- digesting the severity of my brother's situation), and the only person in this family with *any* action plan, is me. (yes, I am bad with follow thu, but I am a *miss-contingency-plan*. I am a meticulous planner. I'm an "ideas" person; that's what I sell for a living. Ideas Merchant Me Am.)

Ok, must admit that my eating/drinking habits are not exactly *normal*, and I have two parents who have had cancer (my dad was also a diabetic), but why do I have a shitty lump on my pancreas??? The pancreas is the organ that regulates my blood sugar levels and keeps me healthy, right? It's still a vital organ, right? Without it I would be shooting up insulin twice a day like a seasoned smack addict?!

Why? (I wonder...)

Fuck!! I hope those quacks/doctors are wrong, and they are misdiagnosing my second spleen (I have a conjenital condition where I have 2 spleens!! Two *redundant* organs!!) instead of finding a "lump" on my pancreas. But there again, however stupid you are, you know that the spleen is on the left hand side of the body, not on the right....

I have an unknown lump on my pancreas.

Oh well... I guess this "Full Frontal Medical " series will continue a bit longer than expected. If I ever get hospitalised (again) all I can say is that I hope they let me bring my PC to blog -- if I am dying I want my last few days to be full of things I like doing. I probably won't be able to do yoga, I won't be able to go trekking, and I know they will never let me go scuba diving if this condition is serious....

FUCK!

I don't really need this shit right now.


(Part 7 : I wrote this on Jan 7th, after I told some of my close friends about my "lump". I didn't want them reading my condition here. Not a personal way to disclose, lah?)

I was at the doctor's today for my second consultation. He was discussing with his colleagues about whether I should have a helical CT, which will give them a very accurate view of my pancreas, or an MRI which would be safer for me (but not so accurate), for I may have complications with my CT scan due to my allergies to a lot of drugs (I'm allergic to NSAIDs (non steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) like Tylenol, Aspirin, and Ibuprofen. etc.).

They've decided to go for the CT, for the accuracy, but they will have someone there in case I have an astma attack. (can someone explain to me why a radiologist, who has been thru med school, cannot help me if I have an asthma attack? Is this one of their ploys to increase my medical bills???)

I am scheduled to go in for a CT scan on Monday, Jan 17th, at 1:30pm. The procedure is supposed to take 50mins in total. I will be injected a special dye to show my pancreas more clearly. My mum has regular CT scans (normal ones, not a helical one) every year, and she said that you get a slight buzz from the "dye", but I should be able to go back to work after I get my scan.

Normal people say to their bosses:"I'm going to be a bit late back from lunch, coz I'm going to the dentists" or "I'm going to the doctor's coz I have a slight cold." Me? I have to say to my boss, Director A:"I'm going to be a little bit late back from lunch, coz I'm going to get a CT scan and take "Kodak Moments" of my prancreas."

fuck.

Wish me well, dear readers, wish me well....

(Post script: why is the DWR quite calm about her condition? Shouldn't she be ranting and raving about her condition? Shouldn't she be scared shitless, and not blog about her "lump"? Well, maybe it's because I've had time to digest the situation, analyse it, think of the potential implications, and finally come up several "action/contingency plans" for the worst case scenario. If it's cancer, and I have to go under the knife, I have several things that I *need* to do B4 that happens. I have a full time job, I am interviewing for a new, potentially fantastic job, I have been asked by a journalist in HK for an interview about getting my brother back from SriLanka, and I have to prepare for my CT, and all dat jazz. Both my parents have had cancer -- dad died on Nov, 20th 1989... my mum lost it at the time, she couldn't tell me his condition so *I* went up to his doctor demanding that he tell me his condition. I listened carefully, and calmly, as his doctor told me that my dad had a tumour in his liver that was 15cm (6in) in diametre, and that he had "terminal" cancer. At aged 15 *I* told my brother (13), not my mum, that dad was dying, and we need to all mentally get prepared for his death. Say our goodbyes - the lot of us, coz my dear mum (poor sensitive little flower) just couldn't face the truth.... "Keep it together, DWR! If you don't, noone here will!!" Yes, dear readers, this is my attitude. This is the *phat* attitude that I have. That is why this wench writes calmly about some of the most painful things in life.)

Ministry of Foreign Affairs, (aka. Gaimu*fucking*Sho)

In trying to locate my brother, BwanaK, in SriLanka after the Tsunami hit "paradise", I encountered many obstacles, including that of the the Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MoFA). As soon as I had gone thru Reuters, Bloomberg, DowJones, AP, Kyodo, WHO, and any other sources of information on the damage in the area, I quickly called the Gaimu-Sho (Ministry of Foreign Affairs) to tell them that my brother and his girlfriend are missing in SriLanka.

"Thank you for calling the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. We are open for business between 9am to 5pm, from monday to friday. We will be closed for business from December 29th to Jan 3rd for new year's holiday. Thank you for calling. Thank you for calling the Ministry of Foreign Affairs...."

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! MY LI'L BROV AND TOMOMI ARE MISSING AND YOU ARE TELLING ME YOUR WORKING HOURS FROM AN ANSWERING MACHINE!!!!!

I was pissed off by this time, but onto my next action plan. I proceeded to locate the numbers of the local embassies in SriLanka, Thailand, and India so that I could find someone, ANYONE, who may take my call. I even tried calling foreign embassies, just in case they were physically sitting in the room, a "war room", with someone from the Japanese embassy taking calls to locate families. I have a land line and two mobile phones in the house -- there was always an open line for BwanaK to call us if he's OK.

Nah.

The MoFA did not set up their "hotline" until 5pm -- 6 hours after I saw on the TV that there was an earthquake and a huge tsunami heading for my brother's locale. That's not good enuf in my opinion; my taxes are their *wages*. Go look for my brother, and all other Japanese citizens, and also cooperate with other foreign officials onsite to locate missing people. That is your job, I know, for my father was a diplomat. That's what diplomats do. Your job. My taxes. Go fuckin' find. Go help people in need. Go find our people. Go help other governments. C.O.O.P.E.R.A.T.E.!!!!

In short, the Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs are fucking useless.

And right now, dear readers, I am seeing a report on how even *more* useless these feckers are. These are some of the action plans by governments from Europe:

Sweden: sent SMSs(text messages on mobiles) to all known people that "entered" the affected regions, asking them if they are OK, asking them to contact their local embassies as soon as possible.

Norway&Denmark: published names of all "possibly" missing persons, who "may" be in the region, on the internet asking them to contact them, or their local embassies. (this reduced the number of "missing" people for Denmark by nearly 90%. Most of the them were just backpacking somewhere else.)

Great Britain: Sent out fliers to all "hotels" and bungalows, in places like Thailand, asking people to immediately contact the British embassy, or their families, to confirm their safety. Also had embassy officials visit accomodations, in places like Kao San Road (backpacker heaven) in Bangkok, asking locals if they had any British nationals staying there.

Now, let's have a look at what those lazy feckers at the MoFA are up to:

Japan: Sitting on their arses doing fuck all. Sent a couple of their *most* incompetent people to Phuket(only), for a semi-retirement holiday in Hades. After being interviewed and questioned by a news reporter why the Japanese government is sitting on their arse, and not taking similar action to other governments, as per above? (Response by director of MoFA in charge of "MISSION: GET OUR PEOPLE BACK", aka. MGOPB) "Yes, well.... I suppose so. I believe that contacting "cheap" accomodation, and other places where, potentially, Japanese backpackers may be staying, perhaps, is a good idea. I believe that this is a critical topic for future discussion..."

FUTURE DISCUSSION!!!! I'm fed up with your fucking (in)action, MoFA!!

247 Japanese people right now are known to be missing. They only know this coz people like *me* harrassed them night and day to tell them to get off their arse and look for our family, friends, or colleagues. These stupid fuckers at the MoFA have not gone to the immigration authorties of various affected countries to even *find out* how many Japanese nationals entered that country. Dear readers, have you ever travelled overseas? Do you remember filling in those funky papers for the immigration people? Remember writing your name, your nationality, your passport number? And what did you do when you left that country? You gave BACK that piece of paper to the immigration officials, right? In some countries, they even *electronically* register your passport # et, al. We are *ALL* just a fucking number, and they know where were are -- either on paper, or electronically. They can track us -- easily. Even in B.A.N.A.N.A Republics!!!

Japan is sending 5 billion yen (US$500mil) in aid for the affected areas, but we can't even be bothered to get off our lazy arse to find out if our people are OK. Well, yeah, we are rich, give the affected areas money, we have plenty, fuck it, it doesn't really dent our economy, right? US$500mil ? oh thats float. Change sitting in my cash register. No worries, Mo Man Tai. But protect and find our citizens??

OI!!! GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ARSE KOIZUMI, MoFA, STUPID MUDAFUKIN' CIVIL "SERVANTS" -- DO SOMETHING! GET YOUR ACTION PLAN GOING!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO DRIVE ME INSANE!! IF YOU DON'T FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, I AM GOING TO START A TERRORIST ORGANISATION, MUCH LIKE MR. BIN LADIN , FROM MY HOSPITAL BED WHILE GETTING TREATMENT FOR MY "LUMP" JUST TO GET YOUR LAZY ARSE INTO ACTION -- REMEMBER? "PEOPLE'S AGENDA LEADS TO POLITICAL AGENDA"? I WILL SHOVE SOME TAE'PO-DONG MISSILES *UP* *YO* *STUPID* *AAAAAAASSSS*!!! MUDAFUKAS!! LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN PEOPLE! WE PAY TAXES, MUDAFUKAS! DAT BE YOUR STUPID PAY-CHEQUE -- AND YOUR BONUS!!! AND Y IS IT DAT YOUR AVERAGE "WAGE" IS MUCH HIGHER THAN DAT IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR!!!!! WORK FOR YOUR MONEY, DAMN IT!! DELIVERABLES, DAMN IT, DELIVERABLES!!!!! *I* WORK FOR MY MONEY, DAMN IT, *AND* PAY YOUR FUCKING PAY-CHEQUE!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW THE FAMILIES OF THOSE MISSING PEOPLE FEEL??? HUH? DID YOU SPEND HOURS, DAYS, "ETERNITY", TRYING TO LOCATE YOUR LOVED ONE WITH YOUR STUPID "THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE MINISTRY OF CURRUPT OFFICIALS THAT SIT AROUND EATING PIZZAS IN PAEDOFILE PARADISE..." WTF!!?!?!!! Y IS IT THAT *I* CAN COME UP WITH MORE IDEAS DAN U LAZY FECKERS TO GET BACK OUR POTENTIALLY MISSING PEOPLE DAN DE ENTIRE M.I.N.I.(fucking) S.T.R.Y.!!!!! AND I'M NOT EVEN STONED!!!!! WHAT DA FUCK R U DOIN'!! Y IS IT THAT U IS NOT DOING ABSO-FUCKIN-LUTELY EVERYTHING, AND ANYTHIN', TO FIND OUT IF OUR PEOPLE ARE OK?

I'm fucked off, fed up, and I'm going to stop rambling now. I'm calm and here are my action plans: 1) renew my Tanzanian passport, 2) make some molotov coctails, for my office is just round the corner from the Ministry of Foreign (to any common sense) Affairs (kiddin') 3) blabber all this to the HK media (serious), and 4) come up with a proposal for "e-Government" so that those idiots in the "Public and Energy" sector sitting across from me can sell some jobs to sort shit out. Having e-Government gives many countries access to information --fast, OK, there are pros&cons and "hellooooo, very diffults, DWR", but at least propose. Dat's a better than none, right? Come up with a humanitarian idea that works for everyone -- be creative --that is what "consulting" is all about, right? (tad idealistic, huh, DWR? get real. Fuck U, Nutts, I'm speakin'!!!!) I am in the "Consumer Business" section, but what da fuck. They sit all day picking at their noses. They don't even *blog* and get their anger out -- fuck, P&E!! Sell a project, sort da government out, play poker with da Yakuzas, and make some money while at it. Powerpoint presentation, at least the vision and storyboard already in process -- hehe!)

I am reeeeaaaaly sick and tired of this shit. Perhaps if I contacted some organised criminals, they may get things done.... or maybe not, coz they already *run* the MoFA, along with all the other Ministries of the Yakuza-masonary.

Yokoso Japan!! Welcome to Japan, the country of total insanity. Can someone save me? Nutts, I *need* help!!!

HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!

(Post script: I know my company is an arse-peddling, pimping organisation (would you like some sand with dat vaseline? *smiles*), but I must admit, I have to *thank* them for all the corporate "contracts" and "accounts" they have with exclusive news and info sources. Without them, I would not have been able to get the amount of information on the level of damage that I did when I was looking for my brother. He is home safely now, but I know that there are many people out there still battling that Ministry of Fuckin' Affairs, and they can't locate their families. They are still in the dark about the safety of their families.

I also need to thank the various people in the "foreign" embassies for their continued support, and their cooperation -- otherwise I would not have the figures, and the info that you gave me. Namaste. And....

Japanese MoFA --> Japanese MOdaFukAas!!! Japanese Mother-fuckers!!! Mother-fuckers!!!!)

Fuckin' Criminals Run My Country!!!

I am always amazed when I dig into the workings of this country. I am currently reading a very interesting book called Tokyo Underground: The Fast Times and Hard Life of An American Ganster In Japan. It tracks the tale and the history, and the intricate web of the underworld in Japan that shapes the landscape of the Yakuzas, the press, the "bubble economy", and (guess what?) the politics that is Japan today. Let me share with you an excerpt from this book regarding the renewal of the postwar Security Treaty between Japan and the US in 1960 that caused protests by students, leftists, and basically a lot of Japanese nationals:

"...U.S president Eisenhower had been scheduled to visit Japan to commemorate the (security) treaty's renewal --the plan called for him to ride in an open-car motorcade with the Emperor from Haneda airport to the city -- but the Japanese government seriously began to consider this in light of the severity of the disturbances and the fact that the maximum deployable policemen numbered only 15,000.

(Yoshio) Komada (a tried, and convicted, Class A war criminal for attrocities in China) helped the LDP (Liberal Democratic Party, which he helped to set up -- financially -- and also the only ruling party of Japan until the mid 90's. They still hold the majority in the coallition today) organise a "security force" of approximately 30,000 gangsters and right-wingers, among them from the members of the Tosei-Kai and the Yokohama-Yokosuka-based Inagawa-kai (both highly organised criminal organisations). The mobilization orders for this incredible army for them to be armed with meter-long wooden staves, and after gathering at Tokyo's Meiji Shinto Shrine (where our most militaristic emperor is enshined) to pray for heavenly assistance in "fighting the degernerates," to be deployed at various spots between the airport and the center of the city, ready to assist the police at the first hint of trouble...." --- Tokyo Underworld, the fast times and hard lives of an American gangster in Japan, Robert Whiting.

Oh my gawd!! I have recently been researching the rightwing- tax-dodging NPOs, and this is what I find.... a deep rooted spread of curruption, bribery, and "back-handism" amongst those that rule my country -- sorry, *have continually * been ruling my country -- for nearly a century. (actually, I knew about these smart crooks and hence the research.) We elected a Class A warcriminal for our priminister less than 7 years after the end of WWII.

WTF? (I hear you readers, I hear you)

The Japanse Imperial army butchered more than 19million Chinese during their "Liberation of Asia", 1 million Malaysians, and countless more.....(don't have enuf time right now to find out X-act figures for Korea and da rest, but if you have them please do tell me, coz it saves me some time). Hitler's Holocaust, with his murdering of 6million Jews, sympathisers, and gays, seem like a kid buying candy in a corner shop compared to the Japanese Imperial Army!!! Hitler was nothing, compared to Meiji, Taisho, and Hirohito!! Mere pittance!!!! (sorry, I don't mean to denigrate the holocaust, but this just *has* to be said.) Compared to the shit that my people commited in the period between 1910 and 1945, Hitler was a "candyfloss" merchant, whereas my country was a full-on, Arab, arms merchant -- up there with Osama Bin Laden!

Under our constitution history books are censored by the Ministry of (mis)Education. They mention only Pearl Harbour, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and the "De-divination" (demotion?) of our Emperor... but there is more to the story than that. There is Omoni, there are the Burakumin, and there is a dark underworld that came about thru poverty and greed -- almost what is about to happen in "paradise" after the tsunami.

Onri-san: Term used for women who used to sexually "entertain" the occupiers of post war Japan under the government sponsored Japanese Recreation and Amusement Association. Can you believe that my government had sanctioned a "department" to deply prostitutes for the occupying forces??

WTF???? (yes, I hear you, I hear you. madness, isn't it?)

Well there you have it, dear readers. My government has been run by gangsters and currupt officials for more than 100 years, and no one has even noticed!! (apart from people like Robert Whiting, who has written many books on the underground world in Japan.)

Oh, yeah, and me.

(Fuck, the more I dig, the more shite I find out? What the fuck is going on in this country???? I want to join one of these "ruling ranks", their freemasonary, just so that I have good material to blabber to the media -- oh, I can't... the media is *run* by these crooks. Oops. Oh well, they can't remove my ramblings so I'll just leave their shinanigans here.)

(post script: well, I suppose if my goverment is run by gangstas, I wanna hear dem rappin' -- rhyme'n all! I want da Notorious B.I.G. to D-bate with Elvis-worshipin' Koizumi. I want to hear some style, U hear? STAYLE! god, this place is depressing.... right, off to yoga before I crack!)

Fringe Benefits (Part.... whatever)

As you know I have published in one of my posts a list of hotlines where people in Japan can donate 100yen/per call to UNICEF towards disaster relief in the tsunami affected areas in SouthEast Asia.

Well... some of my friends, including my mother, took *full* advantages of their frindge benefits and made multiple calls from their offices to the Doraemon Donations. I cannot estimate the number of calls made from my friends' offices to this "teledonation" -- COOL!!

I think I will donate 10,000 yen (US$100) -- or maybe more, not too much to get caught -- on my "never-answered" phone from my office on tuesday. (monday is a public holiday)

If you are resourceful, or can find a way to donate money thru your company, do it! Go for it! I have donated money from my personal phone, but, well, my company can pay too. Make sure you use a different "phone" each time you call up the teledonations, just in case they track you down. (Make sure you pick da right aid agency tho', there are many out there trying to scam you by pulling on your heart strings).

I'm not a medical professional. Nor am I an environmental engineer. I'm a blogger in a suit, and this is the best that I can do. I'm going to donate money thru my company. They have enuf money, so they can pay up! I pay my taxes, and peddle my arse; I see nothing wrong with using my fringe benefits in this manner. (I bet their phone bills are tax deductable anyway!!)

Use your imagination -- tithe away to the right places, thru the right means!!! There are people who used to live in paradise needing our assistance.

(Right, Pink Elephant, Arse Peddlin' Company, you are going to be doing good -- for once -- thru me!!!

URGENT! DATING TIPS NEEDED

Ok, this is getting veerrrrrry critical now. The last time I had a "date" was sometime in June last year, and the last time I got laid? Sometime in late August (I think). Everything to do with my lovelife/sexlife (or lackthereof) is so vague in the distant past that I am putting words like "sometime" and "I think" next to months of the year. I am on serious purple alert, for if I don't get laid by March 31st, I would have broken my new year's resolution #7. Or actually, I may not... I think I left an opt-out claus saying 4 times this year, not necessarily once every 3 months... phew. (Oi, stop "phew"ing -- you still need some action downstairs!)

I'm not that unattractive, I get many offers when I go to a bar, or a club, but most of the men that offer me drinks, etc. are, well, creeps. They come up with STUPID chat-up lines (like: hello, can you tell me why you are so beautiful?) that as soon as they open their mouths, or sometimes even before that, it just turns me off. As a man, I'm sure some of you have gone up to a cute, sexy girl at the bar, or on the dancefloor, struck up a conversation, and BOOM -- whatever came out of that Bimbo's mouth just instantly made your dick shrivel like you've just jumped into a cold swimming pool.

I've unfortunately made the mistake of dating within my circle of friends -- not advicable to anyone thinking of it. It's incestuous. Seriously. My friends do it all the time; it scares me. And when you break up your friends don't know who to side with, who to invite and who not to invite to parties, you always bump into your ex -- somehow -- and there is that awkward moment of silence before you exchange your pleasantries. It was really hard to keep my chin up in the begining after our break up (quite tough, actually, coz I was the one dumped), but it's not nice on our friends to see me in tears when they were kind enuf to invite me.

(By the way I have been single now for 2 years. My ex and I broke up on Dec. 3rd 2002.)

Yes, Purple Alert is an understatement!

I need help -- serious help. Here are my dating criteria:

• I don't like creepy, unintelligent men. (They bore me.)
• I don't like fat, lazy feckers. (Paper bags can only cover so much...)
• I don't like people who say things like:"You think too much" (MY LIFE is Thinking, don't tell me how to live my life!!!)
• I don't like jealous, possessive men. (And if you are a mysogenist -- well, I know exactly what I will be shoving up your arse!)
• I don't like men who get insecure about me earining more money than them. (Shit happens, I'll still love you -- so long as you don't start acting like a pimp and become a fat, lazy fecker. If you have realisitc goals and ambitions -- Mo Man Tai, No Worries!)
• I don't like men who "tell" me how to do things. (DWR does it "her" way, K? Otherwise you know what happens? Just go and ask L what happens when you piss me off. This beautiful woman *smiles* as she has evil thoughts... )
• I don't like men who tell me that I drink too much. (Listen, I *know* I drink a lot. I am the Drunken Wench, remember? Hello? Or are you one of those creepy, unintelligent men that I dislike?)
• I don't like men who are lazy in bed. (Oi, get up, we're not finished yet! Y are you sleeping after a blow job -- and I don't want to hear none of this "men feel tired when we cum.... it's a well known fact...." BULLSHIT!!!! I wrote my final year dissertation on male fertility, so I know a thing or two about men feeling "tired" after they cum!! Did you know, boys, that they don't provide a BED in sperm banks, huh? Why? You can biologically stay *awake* after you've had an orgasm. No, you are just too lazy in bed!! Fine, I'll just have to go solo, you lazy arse!)
• I don't like men with poor oral hygine. Or personal hygine for that matter. (I won't go into the gory details, but one of my ex actually *washed* his dick in my SINK!!! Dirty Fecker!)

Ok, for a thirty-something person, I think my list is small, yes? I'm OK with anyone who does not exhibit a single one of those items on my list. There are additional "nice to haves", but I'm not perfect, so I don't expect others to be either. As long as there is Chemistry, all is cool.

So next steps: dating tips.

People who are happily in a relationship, please give me some ideas, coz everyone I know, or have seen my photos (and no, they have not been digitally altered -- dunno how to do that, can't even *move* my blog to a new "whine" cellar) tell me that I'm OK, I'm quite attractive. But why am I single? For 2 *years*? Wassgoinon'? What am I doing wrong? What am I *not* doing? Why is it that I can't even get a DATE, let alone get laid months upon months.... Where do I even go about *finding* men who understand my eccentricities, and my whacky-ness?

I *need* serious help....

(Post script: according to my mother, the reason why I'm single? Too many faults. I am difficult. BITCH!! And whose fault is it that I am *difficult* to marry off, huh? YOURS!!!)

Photon of Light Insomnia

As you know, Nutts has been bitching (again) at me for my poor sleeping habits. Even in my new year's resolutions I have included in item #15 : Learn to be a good sleeper; the doctor has prescribed me two types of benzodiazepines (fast acting + longer lasting). He once gave me Ro-E's (Rhohipnol), but I'm not that *big* so I ended up sleeping for two days. He should have thought about my weight, my body fat percentage, my absent-mindedness, and my penchant for alcohol consumption before he gave me dangerous pills like dem Ro-E's. (Ok, I should not be mixing BZ's and 'hols.) But alas, my battle to rest my brain activities is somehow on the losing side of winning, for I am just not very good at sleeping.

And this didn't start last year, or a couple of years ago. Ever since I was a little girl I have memories of tossing and turning in bed, giving up, and reading with my torch in bed. Even when I was in boarding school my bed would be the only one in the dormitory looking like a tent with light emitting from it (the only thing missing from the tent was giggling girl scouts). I had the biggest difficulities sleeping in the summer months when it gets lighter earlier, and darker later. Much later. Even the street lights used to keep me awake. Get one of those "shuts out light" curtains? Nah, they just don't work, for you see, I suffer from what I call "Photon Of Light Insomnia".

That tiny little particle is a naughty little bugger; it keeps knocking on my eyelids and wakes Nutts up. (She's a poor sleeper too) And when Nutts is awake, she wakes me up, and I make the mistake of opening my eyes... BIG MISTAKE, for, you see, that photon -- crafty bugger -- starts messing with my mid-brain and starts to play poker with the Melatonin producing cells. While my M cells should be productive, active, and doing their stuff, they are playing POKER with the fucking Photon! Bastards!!! In the meantime the GABA producing cells who should be helping everyone else "wind down, and chill-out" closes the doors and puts ear-plugs in coz it's noisy with all the gambling out there. Then those STUPID Dopamine, Noradrenaline, and all the stimulant producing cells join in, coz you can't play poker with two right? Sometimes it's even worse. Photons bring with them Mah-Jong sets, and when that happens -- oh my god! It sounds like a full-house Chinese restaruant showing horse-racing on TV!!!!

AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!

Photons are feckers. They piss me off. They keep me awake so now I have to take benzodiazepines -- me, a drunken wench -- to, well... pass out. (I have actually passed out in front of my PC, came to, my hands the on the keyboard, wearing my glasses.... it was as if time had juuuust stopped for only a few moments. Tad scary, but has happened a couple of times.)

I hate taking dem silly sleeping pills, because I am always not "with it" in the mornings, and my job requires me to be coherent at all working hours... so I'm going to confess to you all. (Please don't laugh...)

I *own* an eye pillow with flax seeds and lavender buds... And I cannot sleep with out it, BZ or not, I need my eye pillow to shut out those annoying photons, coz with the eye pillow? Well they can bang at my eyelids all they like -- I DON'T HEAR THEM!! HA! Photons, you aren't so smart afterall, are you!

DWR: 1, Photon: 0

Fuck I Broke One Of My Resolutions!!!!

shit! I just honestly posted a rambling at quarter to 1 in da morning just now!! I just broke one of my new years resolutions about not blogging late at night/early morining....

FUCK!!!

Oh well, one down 20 more to go....

Nutts and DWR -- my best friends are having an argument(?!). Again!

(Note: This is a transcript of a conversation between N. and D. -- jeez those two.... I just don't know what to do with my best friends!)

N: So why couldn't you get to sleep last night? You knew you had the benzodiazapines, and all that shite, so why didn't you take them? You were speaking to me all night, and I couldn't fucking sleep! Can you -- for once -- think of me?

D: Sorry. I just wanted to see if I could sleep without the Jelly's, or the 'hol, coz I was feeling like shite. Remember? I was drinking Perrier all night at the company's New Year Party coz I didn't want to throw up on the Chunder Train on my way back...

N: Jezuz, *I* was not going to let U chunder!! Plus you were on the train at 11:30pm; it was well past Chunder Hour, and the only reason that U were feeling like thowin' up was because you saw that woman pick and sprinkle her nose gobblins on the floor for at least 5 stations! Shit, I'm glad you washed your hands when you got home, I mean, after watching chicks dig at their nasal passages for that long? Whoa! If you didn't wash your hands, I would have *bitch-slapped* your skinny arse!

D: Cummon, she could have been a coke-head, and her nasal contents would be worth something....

N: Stop trying to "stretch" your immagination, and you can stop trying to defend this woman. You're sooooooo typical Libra! The fact of the matter is, she is grosser than them dirty feckers who used to spit on the floor in HK! Remember those posters in the restaurants? "Please Don't Spit On Floor, Ngoi Sa?" Did you go back to *any* of those restaurants? Huh? DID U?

D: Fine, fine. So, what are we going to write next?

N: Oh, I *love* the way you change the topic when it suits you. Why do you always do that? Huh?

D: HEY! I'll have none of you speaking to me like that! Otherwise I will speak your thoughts out loud in public, and you'll know where that would get us? Remember One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest? Huh?? Don't cuckoo with me bitch. I'll "Lobotomise" your skinny arse!!

N: Fine. I'm sorry... where were we?

D: Yeah, you should be sorry. I'm the one with the body and the external voice.

N: Yeah, well U wouldn't have *any* ideas for the Drunken Wench Ramblings if it weren't for me!

D: Yes, I would!

N: No, you wouldn't!

D: Yes, I would!

N:No, you wouldn't!

D: YES I WOULD!

N: Fine. Prove it.

D: Don't. DO NOT USE THOSE WORDS ON ME!!!

N: Why? Prove it. Prove to me that you can write without me? Huh?

D: YOU KNOW I HATE THOSE WORDS!! MY X USED TO ALWAYS USE IT ON ME AND CORNER ME WITH HIS F*CKING "PROVE IT"S!!

N: Prove it.

D: Fine. In my next post, you shall be in absentia. I know what. I'll post something when your consiousness is anaesthetised. Right, what drug will get rid of you temporarily....

N: Get real! HELLO! I can get rid of you much easier than you of me. Hypnosis, Lignol, Locaine?

D: Oi! the last two are vetinary anaesthetics -- are you trying to knock me out with horse tranKs?

N: hehehehehe.....

D: You evil bitch! Anyway, why is it that you always use ellipses when you speak? Can't you ever finish a sentence without having second thoughts? Dot, dot, fucking dot. Can you finish ANYTHING with out an opt-out clause?

N. You use it too? Scroll above? See? You use it more than *I* do.

D: Prove it.

N: Scroll up.

D: *huh* Ok, I use it more than you... Fuck! Why are you smarter than me! I *thought* you were me! Why am I being outdone by my fucking "inner-voice"!!

N: Coz you are smarter -- actually let me rephrase -- you are more of a smart-arse than you think? You're not that innocent, you know?

D: Fuck..... you know me better than me. Maybe I should listen to you more often.

N: You already do. You write thru me, silly. I come up with the ideas, you do the research -- all the hard work -- if not you have the trivia/knowledge, and you type the words as I dictate them to you. All this -- read it -- is me talking thru you. Do you get it? You are always listening to me, for I am always talking to you. Yes, you argue with me. Yes, we debate about things. Yes, we come up with loads of ellipses coz the two of us are never *ever* "convinced" that we have finished a sentence, and yes we are both indecisive. Actually no. We don't finish sentences coz sentences cannot be finished... there are many thoughts that remain. No one can come up with a sentence and say: "yup, I've made a statement, and that's it.", coz that is unintelligent. Remember the conversation you had with blog about existance? Remember reading about the "theory of relativity" -- it's a theory, not fact. Remember Plato's republic? Truth vs. Opinion? No one can prove as absolute truth -- even gravity may not exist somewhere in the universe. Challenge a theoretical physist, and they would probably tell you: "yes, it seems to work in our universe, but...."

D: Oh my GAWD!! More ellipses!!!!

N: Yup.

D&N: The world is an ellipses!!! We understand nothing!!!!

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance." -- Confucious

D&N: Bugger me backwards with a barge pole!! We're on the same wavelength as Confucious!!!! (not Jesus Confucious, K?)

In Continuation of Tsunami Help

I've found more fellow bloggers who are reporting on the Tsunami in "Paradise". You can go thru the links to make donations to aid agencies (e.g.WHO, UNICEF, NGOs, NPOs), and governments all over the world who are trying to bring relief and hope to the affected areas. Many people do not have access to clean water, an essential to health after the disaster, and the WHO estimates nearly 50,000 people may perish from Cholera in the next few months until there is a clear water line for the residents, the survivors of the Tsunami. There also are many children who have been separated from their parents after this disaster; did you know that according to UNICEF nearly 400 children in affected areas have been "repatriated" with strangers (i.e. not their relatives)? I know what happens to the minds of some adults in sudden, extreme poverty. I used to do overseas devopement work; many people have lost their livelihoods that was based on tourism. The "abductees" will do unimaginable things to exploit children -- especially to those that cannot speak up; they may have been sold off to infirtile couples in the west who can't *wait* to adopt kids (at the best), sold off as child labourers in illicit factories, sold off as organ doners, sold off as camel jockeys, or, in the worst case, prostitutes (both boys and girls) to "wealthy" asian countries like my home, the Paedophile Paradise.

(I have seen too many people who have exploited children during my 3 years working with JICA.... I've seen kids sold as camel jockeys, carpet makers, cloth weavers... and well, child "performers" in the sex industy... too many. Did you know that Japan has no laws against "human trafficing" -- altho they are still thinking about it? I've seen too much pain....)

Why?

I know it's been over a week since the earthquake/tsunami happened, and many people, including my brother, BwanaK, are still in shock, and will need emotional care after this disaster. I've been told that some kids, as old as 14, lost their ability to speak from the shock. I also know that kids have to be saved from those that will do anything to make a livelyhood after they lost everything -- literally -- after the disaster. I've seen it happen.... once too often. Live in asia, and U too will see...

For those that want to donate money to aid agencies here are some respectable sites:
American Red Cross (care of Yahoo; available globally)
Doraemon Donation (available only in Japan) Tel: 0990 53 5000 (100yen will be donated for each call. Not available from payphones, or mobiles)
Medicins Sans Frontiers (available globally. Winners of Nobel Peace Price)
Oxfam (available globally)
Unicef (available globally)
WHO (available globally)
Various Affected Embassies and NGOs/NPOslocated in Japan -- account for remittance to Japanese banks included.

Sunset In Paradise -- Gilli Air, Indonesia (copywrite 2003, DWR) also published on Serenity

There are many other aid agencies, NPOs, NOGs that you can donate your money/or provide assistance, which is set up in your local area (I wish I was a nurse on days like this so that I can get my arse out there to help people!), but these are the organisations that I have worked with while I was working with JICA doing overseas development when I was a "wee lassy" so I know that they are not going to be cheating you, and taking your money, or something. Chose your aid agency carefully tho', or even better still, if you have the time and the skills needed in a place devestated by the disaster, sign yourself up. I, unfortunately have neither the skills nor the time, so I am giving you -- the ones with the skills -- the information to help the people of my favourite Paradise.

First Day Back -- Professional Ethics

Yeah, today I'm back to being a suit again. I'm eating my lunch in a small cafe with wireless lan so that's Y I'm rambling while I wait for my "Chicken Caesar Salad Set" to arrive. Actually I usually dine by myself while I draft my next stories, read my book, or do any research (both for work, and for my blog - yes, I'm productive for a lazy, drunken wench), so it's not much different from my usual lunch breaks. So why is it that I eat by myself, and not with my collegues? Well, that's coz I don't have any. I have only bosses. My big boss, Principal. K, is usually out doing "working lunches" with potential clients at expensive restaurants like Maxim's, the New York Grill , or CITABRIA (all fully expensed, of course), and my other boss, Director.A, a really hardworking, Japanese guy, usually has lunch with his colleague, Director. T. There is not much mingling amongst the ranks in Japanese(?) companies so I tend to eat by myself, which is actually a welcoming break from my desk, my telephone, (which I never answer coz if its important people can IM, or call me on my mobile. I'm usually busy so my secretary takes my calls that tend to be from people trying to sell me land, to headhunt me, to sell me bibles and "jeezuz loves you" trinkets, to sell me cows- I kid U not!, and to sell me shares for pink elephants. i.e. scammers), and my *neat* pile of papers (contrary to my home environment, my desk at work -- maybe coz the office is open planning -- is meticulously organised. I even have a fixed "Filing System"!!)

This "antisocial" behaviour of mine, I discovered over the holidays, is apparently quite famous at the office especially amongst those that share the open space "hotelling" area at the office. Basically I belong to a department of only 3 people, my big boss, my little boss, and me, which means that I tend to not only eat lunch by myself, but I also sit by myself in a large area. During the holiday season I attended 5 parties where I went and introduced myself to men, and this is what happened:

"Hi, my name is DWR. Nice to meet you."

"LOL!I know you. You sit on the 5th floor in Hibiya, next to the big-wiggs by yourself, right?"

"Eh? What? I'm confused, how do you know where I work, and where I *sit*?"

"WE WORK FOR THE SAME COMPANY!"

"Oh."

(and by this time the men are turning to their neighbours who are also nodding as if they also know me.)

Shit, I work with *all* these people??

"We've seen you -- you are always surrounded by your papers, typing away at the speed of light, totally focused on your papers and the screen, and well... you look so hard at work, so none of us have been able to, you know, come around and say Hi, coz remember? Um we met through, T, about 2 years ago. I've also seen you at the company's quarterly meetings, but you always seem to be *working* on your PC, and not really paying attention to what the CEO is saying... so..."

(all of his friends are nodding frantically by now.)

Fuck, they really *do* know me!!!

Shit! My collegues think I am *soooo* unapproachable, for I'm busy *typing*?? (I'm probably blogging when I'm not busy, so I can't believe that I am that *unapproachable*?!)

I'm a suit. I'm a blank-faced suit. And I have two rules that I adhere to as a professional: 1) I don't date my collegues, and 2) I don't date my clients. I'm at the office to work, neither to socialise, nor to find a boyfriend. (And yes, I've had clients hit on me, but, sorry, I just *have* to draw the line -- I'm selling my mind, my ideas, not my pussy.) The other suits in my office are equally blind to me, and I bet you I just walked passed the men that I met at some party on my way out to lunch, but I wouldn't be able to recognise them (nor remember their names).

Additional new year's resolution:

20. Remember the faces (at least!) of your collegues so you don't keep making a fool of yourself when you meet them at parties.

21. Look up from your PC - occasionally - and if you see anyone that you know, smile, ask them over for a chat, even if you are in the middle of doing something that you are working hard at. (probably would be broken by 2-moro, but hell, I should *try* at least, right? )

Tax Dodging -- Outwitting the Tax Nazis

The city that I live in has a fucked up tax collection system for Residency Tax. Luckily I do not live in Shinjyuku Ward, but I've had to do some funky tax dodging this winter holiday.

My company deducts all my taxes (income, resident, what-ever-else-unknown-tax) from my monthly wages, but they over charge me so I get back my returns at the end of the year. The amount is usually around 100,000yen (US$1000) so you want to get that back, right? I can go to Guam for a long weekend with that additional income.

My residency tax is based on my current "address", as far as my company is concerned, is my mother's "government" housing. She is on like ,well, low income (a widow with one lung? of course she lives in the projects. She's not even eligible for disability benefits!!). Her monthly rent amounts to a lot less than my monthly facial/spa/waxing/pampering at Boudouir.

So why am I living in the projects?

Well, in order to rent an apartment in Tokyo you need to pay 2 months' deposit, 2 months' "Key Money" (basically gratuity to the landlord that you will never see again), 1 month realestate agent fees, and 1 month rent upfront. Six months' rent before you move into an unfurnished apartment.

If I want to rent a reasonable place for 150,000yen/month in central Tokyo (this is what a one bedroom place would cost), I need to put up 900,000yen (US$9000) -- and that's excluding all my moval fees to have all my furniture, which is in storage, sent to my new abode.

OUCH!

I gave up my place before I moved to HK so I am a little bit homeless. All my expenses while I lived there I paid upfront, and my company reimburses me 1.5months later (lazy feckers!), by which time I am running expenses again, so I never really *see* my money. Japanese consulting companies do not give you a corporate card so my cashflow is always looking as sick as a ferral cat. If I was a company and went bust tomorrow, the only "liquid asset" I have would be my butt.

So I am saving up (kind of) till I get enuf money to get out of this place. (I often get strange looks by my neighbours in the morning, for I am wearing a suit -- in the projects? Unheard of!)

Right, back to tax evation.

My company does all the paperwork for my tax returns, and I realised that my income is *WAY* too much for someone living in the projects with whacko Cirque de Solaire, seputgenarian window climbing neighbours. I needed to move my "residence" to my brother's place - pronto - to make it look like only poor people live here. Otherwise my mother's rent shoots up the roof, and honestly? I would not pay any more in rent for this shite hole!

Issue: my brother (who works for a US company is technically an expat, even tho' a Japanese national, and hence has no declarable income in Japan coz he's paying US taxes, i.e. can be passed off as unemployed) physically lives somewhere else, but is registered as a resident of these projects just to make it *look* to the Tax Nazi's like we are a real social security case. Oh, and because unemployment benefits last for only 6months after you lose your job, my brother, who has *never* been employed in Japan, has never received a single dole cheque, but nor does he pay into the state pension scheme. His healthcare scheme? Well he's my mother's "dependant" so he's covered by her healthcare.

(We're good, aren't we?)

Solution: My brother hastily moved his residency to his actual *physical* home, I told my company that I moved from the projects to a different location (could they please file my tax return at my brother's place), registered as living at my brother's place with the authorities, while I *physically* reside with my mum. Because the various agencies never share information, and have everything still paper-based, my brother is a dependant of my mother, and me? I get my tax returns at the end of the day.

BRILLIANT!

Must admit the Housing Authority called up the house to confirm that my brother no longer lived there, but that's about it. Luckily the cats were sleeping so they weren't meowing in the background. (This place is a "No Pets" place -- you get kicked out for keeping animals, but many people own animals. The lady who lives upstairs has two ugly mutts that she walks everyday, and no one really gives a damn.) All is fine, and we managed to outwitt the Tax Nazis.

Next Steps: My mother retires this year. She will reside in her project, but will technically be my dependant, and so will my brother. Result? End of 2005, my taxable income decreases, and my returns will be higher. Perhaps I can go to Hawaii with my little bonus...

(Post script: I guess I should thank life in London for teaching me such wonderful skills to outwit the Tax Nazis. Although I would not recommend people to tax-dodge on a regular basis, we do it out of neccessity. In a country where the TNs are militant about collecting your money, while having little or no social security for people with disabilities, on low income, or even with longterm illnesses that require *a lot* of money for treatment, I think that I'm just a small time crook. Plus, at the end of the day, I *am* paying all my dues -- they get taken from me automatically anyway -- so I'm just a little minow in the world of tax dodgers)

Rice Bowl?!

I don't often follow sports in the news, but when I read this article... well had to share it with you. We have an NFL Super Bowl equivalent called "Rice Bowl"??

How bizzar...

New Year's Resolutions

(OK, enuf negative posts. Let's ramble some more before I go and buy some cat fud... )

For some strange reason I make promises to myself that I find very hard to keep. Maybe I have high expectations, or I'm a bit of a perfectionist? Nah, lazy fecker. That's what I am.

Anyway on the 4th day of 2005 I have created a list of things -- call them New Year's Resolutions if you wish. Well, here goes:

1. Drink less.
2. Move the Drunken Wench Ramblings to its new "whine" cellar *before* the end of the year. (yes, I am *that* inefficient; also not going to stress myself so am giving myself loads of time to finish this one)
3. Get out more, and don't stand up my friends' invitations.
4. Read more non-fiction. (need variety in my reading materials)
5. Talk to more strangers - especially cute men.
6. Learn to be more tidy. (e.g. not drop my towel on the floor after I come out of the shower)
7. Get laid more (*at least* 4 times... that's on average once every 3 months. Not too ambitious on this resolution, coz I have a feeling that this one has the highest probability of not being fulfilled.. I suppose this one is related to resolution #3. N' get rid of the "Da Nun" nickname.)
8. Keep my weight constant (have less than 5% body weight fluctuations)
9. Move out of my mother's place (otherwise she *really* would drive me straight to the funny farm!)
10. Stay in touch with my friends who live abroad more frequently (I'm really bad with people who do not have IM... Oh, and I'm really attrocious with my "blanket" spam-like emails to friends.)
11. Spend more time with my cats. (and to always make sure that the kitty-gritty and Belle's favorite canned cat fud is always in stock.)
12. Have some form of "balance" in my life (I'm a bit of a "hobby" junkie...)
13. Learn to always put my house keys back in the "right" place (also related to resolution #6. For some strange reason my belongins have a habit of growing legs, and going on a little "walkabout")
14. Sort out my library. (I have over 1000 "manga" comics, nearly 500 books (I think?) and I have only one bookshelf. My reading materials are usually scattered in a *neat* pile on the floor, but the cats have a habit of distroying my "book towers" -- frequently. Resolution also kind of related to #6. Shit, I'm really messy!)
15. Learn to be a "good" sleeper (get into the habit of "winding down" i.e. blog less in the evenings, coz writing at 3/4am when I have a full time job is probably not too good for my health.)
16. Take more holidays than last year (I had only 2 weeks off...)
17. Enroll in a private pension fund (so I can plan an early retirement, and not have to worry about my spending habits, which brings me to the next resolution =>)
18. Keep an eye on my finances (why is it that I have no savings when I am 31? Coz I spend money on something. I know it's not shopping, coz I hate shopping -- but I have no idea where my money disapears to.... DWR's money heaven, mayby?? Oh shit! it's the monthly facials, waxing, spa treatments, reflexology, hobbies, holidays, books, CDs, trinkets for the house, and running "expenses" when I go on business trips.... but even so? I have a fat pay cheque, why? where?)
19. Work hard, play even harder!! (which probably already has broken previous resolution... oops!)

I think that's about if for now. I'm sure most of these would be broken before the end of the month, but hey -- what are "rules" there for apart from being broken, right?

Paedophile Paradise

From yesterday's article on the paedophile who was -- as last -- captured, 44 days after murdering a 7-year old girl...

Kobayashi has told investigators that he lured Ariyama into a car Nov. 17 by offering to give her a lift home, according to the sources. The car had been borrowed from a friend.

"I was targeting any girl who was walking alone," Kobayashi reportedly told police. He said he had never seen or met the girl or her family.

He took her to his apartment and drowned her in his bathtub. He took photos of her and sent one of them to the victim's mother from the girl's cell phone, the sources said.

On Dec. 14, he used Ariyama's cell phone again to send several photos of the girl to her mother, including the one he already sent Nov. 17. At that time, he also sent a text message to the woman, threatening to kidnap the girl's younger sister next.
Kobayashi has reportedly told police he "wanted (the mother) to know what had happened."

He has a criminal record of molesting small girls and reportedly spent time in prison years ago for attempting to strangle a girl in Osaka.

Following Thursday's arrest, police found about 100 items related to small girls, including clothing, underwear and swimsuits, in his apartment, according to the sources.

The Japan Times: Jan. 3, 2005(C) All rights reserved

It pains my heart when I hear more stories of sicko's like this. Japan is one of the only "developed" countries that does not keep records of paedophiles, they do not provide "counselling" while they are in prison, and now this man -- with several records of child molestation dating back to when he was a teenager -- has taken a life. Police are investigating other possible cases of "missing" children who may have been a victom of this man.

I mentioned previously in a post called Sanity?! What sanity? Norm? What is the norm?! about how Japan is the global "hub" of child pornography, and we didn't even pass a law banning child pornography until 1999.

In Japanese we do not have a word for "sexual assult" against children. Itazura 悪戯 【いたずら】 (adj-na,n,vs) tease; prank; trick; practical joke; mischief.

NO!

Harming innocent, little children; sexual assult is not a prank! It's no fucking joke! We need stricter laws against people who commit henous crimes like this, we need a process to rehabilitate these men who have very twisted sexualities, we need to change shit around here!

We need changes...

Out of Office Reply...

I'm back in my suit tomorrow. Blank face, sober times, switching from C2H5OH (ethanol) as a choice of beverage to coffee...

(I don't know how many tripple shot soy latte's I will have tomorrow morning.)

Feeling tad blue. I have *no* idea how many "Out of Office Reply's" I will be receiving this month from colleagues who just never returned from their holidays in "Paradise", which turned into a holiday of historic catastrophy coz of the Tsunami in the Indian Ocean.

Unable to turn off their "Out of Office Reply". Forever.

*huh*

Out of office reply. I will be out of the office from...

Crap Directions!!

(Warning to all my friends: From now on *this* is what happens when U give me crap directions -- especially when I'm feeling like shit from a *mega* hangover!! There is an evil, drunken wench living in this body! Remember, dear friends, remember....)

Dear readers, as you know I was invited today by my friend, L, a Frenchman who organised a New Year's "BYO" Galette Party. L, often organises parties at his home, but, for some unknown reason, I always end up missing it, because I am either working, or working. Or both.

This time I just could not miss his party, and give him a poor excuse like, "well, I can't make it, coz I'm hungover...", even if I *was/am* truely hungover, so I decided to go.

Ok, L, so how do I get to your house?

You've never been here?

No, I *miss* your parties all the time. Plus I've been living in HK 'til April this year. The last time I made it to one of your "parties", you were living in your old place, remember? Where's the nearest station? How do I get to your house?

I live in Motoazabu, nearest station is Azabujyuban. Just look for Motoazabu Hills, it's easy.

Ok... I don't know how to get to Motoazabu Hills, remember, I haven't been living in Tokyo for 8 months so I don't know all these new buildings. I will call you when I get to the station. You can give me directions from there.

And sure enuf, dear readers, I got out of the station and gave my friend a call.

Ok, I came out of exit 1, how do I get to your place?

Ok, walk towards Roppongi Hills (shit, more bloody "hills"), and you will see a huge building shaped like a mushroom. You can't miss it.

(WTF? A building shaped like a mushroom?! What kind of crap direction is this!)

I'm hung over and tired, but I want to make it to my friend's party so I decided to walk towards Roppongi Hills. I am nearly there, but no *sign* of a mushroom-shaped building.

So I call him up again.

Listen, I'm standing at the crossing where if I turn left I end up in Roppongi. I see Roppongi Hills in front of me. And there is a "coin-operated" car park on the corner.

Ok, what you need to do is turn right. Go down, then up. You will see a huge building shaped like a mushroom. Call me when you get there.

Eh? Go down then up? Fuck-me-backwards-with-a-barge-pole! What is this? Go down, then up? WHAT KIND OF CRAP DIRECTIONS ARE THESE!!!

Luckily, I'm not a Piscean, like Jesus, so I have some "sense" of direction. I figured out that if I just turn right, and keep walking up a hill(?) I will see this "mushroom-shaped building".

I chanted to myself: mushroom-shaped building, mushroom-shaped building... and eventually got to see a tall building on top of a hill. This must be it -- I suppose it has a unique shape -- it's kinda "top heavy" looking, but I would never call it a "mushroom-shaped building".

I call my friend up.

OK, I'm here, what room number are you?

OK -- I'll come and pick you up.

Huh? You don't live here??

WTF!!!!!!!!!

Fine, I'm sitting under a *tree* at this "mushroom-shaped building". Come and see if you can find me....

(there you go! *crap directions* for you, my friend!!)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Not only does my friend *not* reside at this mushroom shaped building, but he also lives in a building where -- get this, dear readers -- the *entrance* is on the 3rd level!!!

I'm HUNGOVER!! I do not need crap directions and funky apartments to deal with!!! I had a HUGE SHOCK trying to leave your place, thought I was lost when I pressed "1" in the lift to get out, didn't I? NO ENTRANCE ON THE GROUND FLOOR!! HOW CAN U POSSIBLY LIVE IN A FLAT WITH A THIRD FLOOR ENTRANCE!! IT FREAKED ME OUT!!!!!

(right, as soon as I hit the "publish post" button, I'm going to *email* this post to him!!)

Evil, drunken wench resides within....

Getting Shit Together

I'm screwed, dear readers.... I am hung over, I've had 3 beers (not a drink of usual choice, but nonetheless consumed coz only alcohol in da house), and I need to get my shit together....

Why?

I have my friend's "new year's party" to attend starting from 7pm ('tis now near 6pm). He's decided to organise a "BYO" ingredients galette party.

WTF? (Ok, am going to be fashionably *very* late.)

French men with too much time on their hands come up with silly "theme" parties. Nonetheless I will get my drunken (trim -- hehe) arse into the shower now. Right. As my ex, Dr.K, (nice, but a *real* pain in the arse! Love ya, darling!) used to say:"I need to scrub up."

(oh shit! I just realised that I have not checked my new hotmail account that I set up to divert all DWR emails coz I couldn't keep up with the personal mail, spam, and my readers sending me email to the same account! FUCK! I'm screwed. I need to get my shit together. Nearly time to go back to being a suit...)

Life in London: Jesus Confucius

My brother used to work for a second hand record/anything store in Notting Hill Gate only 5mins walk from my campus on Camden Hill Road. He used to get many interesting people trying to "sell" items to the store -- anyone from 13 year olds trying to sell PCs and electronics (they had "obviously" broken into someone's home and stolen whatever they were trying to peddle) to Smack addicts trying to sell their granny's clothes. Well, fashion goes around in "cycles" right? You can try and flog off that black, shiny little dress Gran' used to wear in the good ol' days, right?

Well, that's London(ers?) for you.

One of the things that the "store" used to ask for was ID when someone wanted to sell anything so my brother used to see many interesting "drivers licenses" produced by the junked up peddlers with stolen goods. But one of them, Jesus Confucius, was probably the most eccentric "customers" that he had. And he *actually* had a real ID -- confirmed by my brov with the DVLA.

Jesus(?) was one of the "selling" customers at the MVE. He used to come to the store -- get this -- dressed as Laurence of Arabia trying to sell shirts. Plain, white shirts.

Wonderful, isn't it?

The shirts would be worth less than 10pence a piece, but nonetheless Jesus would be around to the MVE once a month to sell his(?) clothes. Each time he would come to the shop, look around, tell my brother that he has something to sell. White shirt? Sure, may I see some ID, please.

Yes, certainly. Would my driver's license be OK?

Yup.

Name: Jesus Confucius
Sex: M
DOB: 10.10.73
Address: 11, Northumberland House, Kentish Town, London, NW5 2EA

SHIT!!!! How on earth does this man walk around with a driver's license??? He calls himself Jesus Confucius, for fuck's sake!!! Doesn't the DVLA actually *check* people's names when they issue drivers licenses? Who gave this fucked up *whacko* a driver's license in the first place??? I would just *love* to have been his driving instructor: "Yes, Jesus, take your foot off the clutch a little bit more. You're doing very well, Jesus. Very well.... "

(I don't think I would be able to keep a straight face sitting next to a guy who calls himself Jesus, dressed like Yasser fuckin' Arafat!! Shit, I had extreme difficulties when my brother pointed him out in Portobello Market!!! Just couldn't keep a straight face. Just couldn't keep it together....)

Well, must admit I have recently come across some interesting blogs about crazy/hooring neighbours 'n all, but please -- ANYONE -- living in the vicinity of Jesus Confucious, blog. I beg you. Blog. I bet he has a very interesting life that you can follow and post. I want to follow Jesus Confucious!!!

Jesus Confucious indeed... too funny!

I *LOVE* London, my second home...

BwanaK Kame Round Yesterday...

Ok, dear readers, I am having "hair of da dog".... nearly 4 hours after I "came to" from my drunken state.... (I is well "fuckuared")

Why was I *pished* yesterday?

Well... my dear brov, BwanaK, came home yesterday. We hugged, I drunk all the booze he brought round, we exchanged Christmas presents, played "MaoMao" (a card game similar to UNO) with the "Bush Cards" I bought, we cried, we laughed, and I lent him a book on the history of Yakuzas that I had bought to research organised crime in Japan.

After that I fell over on my drunken (trim) arse.

But I'm happy that he's home tho, for he is the only brother that I have... Okaeri, Kaoru.

Okaeri. (welcome home)

Life In London: Introducing "My Neighbours Are Hoors"

I lived on "Skid Roof" in Kentish Town for nearly 4 years during my college years. One of my neighbours, Marie, was a "receptionist" for two prostitutes who used to have a flat (apartment) across the road....

When I came upon this site, I just *HAD* to show it to you, dear readers. I now know that I have a crazy neighbour (she just walked passed the window, avec MT waterbottles, as we speak! Shit, what is going on!!!) , I know there is a crazy lady called K in SanDiego, and now I know that someone probably *lives* in the same flat as Marie's employers -- AND -- bloggs about it...

Enjoy!

Life In London: A Series Without an Ending....

I lived in London for a total of 6 years. My second book, "Skid Roof", is based in London (if I ever finish it!!!) I loved the darkness (physically and metaphorically), the attitude of Londoners, and the "so what" attitude that was all just part of London. There were always rats in the tube (underground railway system), fights on the Northern Line (especially Angel Station -- how ironic: Angel/Fights?!), and countless times that I had to be "rescued, and escorted" from the tube tunnels full of *live wire*, near Mornington Crescent, that never got reported in the press , or maybe it got a small mention in the Evening Standard, coz it was sooooo common. You just get immuned to insanity when U live in London....

That's London. My second home.

I suppose I need to introduce to you the best (and the worst) city in the world: London

New Year's Celebrations -- The Worst

The Worst: Tokyo 2000

I bet most of you can remember new years' eve leading up to the year 2000. It was a year full of excitement for the new millennium (starting from 2001?!), fear of the millennium bug (Y2K) , and just plain ol' fun for the rest of us (remember singing Prince's "Partying like it's 1999"??? Yes, seems like ages ago doesn't it?)

I had invites from my friends all over the world to go and celebrate the momentous count down -- from Innsbruk to New York -- two years ahead!! My organised friends were already getting their shit together to plan for the *ultimate* new years of their lifetime years in advance.... (just like most sensible people in their mid/late 20s)

*My* lifetime!!!

Unfortunately at that time I was living with my "conservative" boyfriend who wanted to celebrate a quiet, personal new years eve. Hairy Muff. "I respect your freedom, and I love you sweetie, so... "

WRONG!!! MISTAKE!!! UUHHHUUUHHH GIRLFRIEND, ACT ON YOUR GUT INSTINCT, NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S WISHES!!!!!!!!!! (never again, dear readers, never again...)

My mind was on on skiing in Europe drinking "grappa" with my friends in front of the fire in their expensive holiday home in Austria. In my mind I was (kinda) fantacising, and reveling in the fact that my friend fancied me, but I was not going to cheat on my loving boyfriend, coz we were in love. The year 2000 was going to be one of excitment, love, and anticipation. Cummon? The entire world was waiting for 2000, right??

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Nah... Jealous, possessive man wants to spend NYE in Tokyo. (how boring!)

My X is a nice person: too nice for my liking, actually. He is one of those people who would go out of his way, regardless of anything, to help others. Unfortunately that "supposed", romantic night we got a call from "Satomi Tiger" (my nickname for the crazy bitch), a psychotic , Japanese girlfriend of his boss....(I would have preferred a romantic helicopter ride over Tokyo bay that night, but I suppose that's what U get with boring earth signs, huh? Opps. Sorry, o, mean no offense, my friend!)

Lesson of the millennium: do not take phone calls from mentally insecure women -- regardless of who they are!!

My X does not speak much Japanese. So guess who was playing "Tokyo Life Line" during my (supposed) "romantic" new year's eve for two at a fancy restauant????? Moi. Your's truely.

I sat and talked to this psychotic bitch for nearly 1.5hrs --- right thru the countdown that my X was kindly showing me on Murdock TV and blowing "loving" kisses at me (that fecker!!!) She was ranting on and on about her relationship with her man, my man's boss, and all I could think was: "why am I doing this on new years eve -- no, let me rephrase. --- on the most important new years eve *ever* in my lifetime?? Y am I talking to Satomi Tiger when I should be on a helicoper ride drinking champagne with my lover???

WTF???

Dear readers, I sat with Satomi (her *real* name) for nearly 3(!!!) hrs going over her love problems that night/morning. She called a total of 5 times.... She had an argument with her man, D, and was in a state coz she didn't know where her relationship with D was going. She was in tears threatening to kill herself that night. She even got me to a point to tell her not to kill herself coz "I'll be there"...

I really was the "Tokyo Life Line" that night.

Satomi Tiger.


Dear readers, do you remember celebrating the coming of Y2K??? I hope it was better than mine...

Never again!!

(Post Script: I have a friend who commited suicide on Jan 3rd 1993. Her elder sister found her hanging in her apartment after calling her countless times... she was only 21 when she died. She was one of the "pretty" girls that could have done anything in her life. Altho' my new years with Satomi was a false alarm, I take people seriously -- especially when they tell me that they are going to top themselves, for I have seen death too close to me on many occations. I remember the lot of us feeling like shit after hearing about my friend... never again.

Y do people take their own lives???)

New Year's Celebrations -- The Best

The Best: Bologna, Italy (2002)

I was on a week's tour of Italy with my two friends/colleagues, M and O (both Japanese boyz). We had traveled by rail from Rome to the Vatican to Florence to Pisa to Venice to Milan to Palma (and finally!) to Bologna -- all in 6 days!!! My travel buddies, in their typical "Japanese tourist" style, had bought a travel guide, a rail pass (under a friends guidance), and created a list of cities to see, sites to visit, photos to take....

I was really tired by new year's eve.

So what's in Bologna? Why was our week-long, fun packed journey ending there? The answer, dear readers, is that our flight back to Tokyo was out of Bologna. Nothing else. We had a cheap flight that took us to Rome via Amsterdam and back to Tokyo from Bologna. Unfortunately the Japanese guide book was a bit thin on Bologna so my friends decided to go off to Milan (again) to do some shopping on our last day.

I decided to have some "fun" and leave the boyz to their shoping; I looked around to see what was in Bologna on Dec. 31st. Bologna, just like most Italian cities, has LARGE buildings. I think the Romans thought "the bigger the better", and that philosophy has been handed down thru generations of Italian architects, for I felt like Guliver in Brobdingnag walking thru the wide streets of Bologna. I went to the local tourist information centre, and asked them what I could do in the city of giant buildings. "Why? You are here on the best day of the year. We have the New Year's celebrations. Bologna has the *best* new year's celebration in ALL of Italy!" was the response that I got from the mustachioed, smiling gentleman who was giving me tourist information on Bologna.

Hmmm.... New year's celebration, huh? In a city named after the most famous spaghetti sauce in the world (Bolognese)?? This could be interesting!!

Once my "shopaholic" friends returned from their spree in Milan (I don't know how they did it!!!) I told them about the potential for some fun during this evenings' celebrations, and that we should purchase some fireworks sold on the streets in various locations around the city.

As soon as dawn came upon the city (around 5pm) we started hearing "booms" left, right, and anywhere from our hotel rooms. The deep barritone shook our bodies, almost like the sound of cannons being fired in the distance. I called up the front desk to ask what was going on: "presto, presto, sinorita. We finish presto, yes? Pericoloso!! Dangerous!!! Stay in room. Prego. Prego..."

OK, in that case I want to get out with the crowd!!! Prego!!

My two friends and I went to the nearest off-license to buy some booze so we could get some drinks to celebrate the coming of the new year: 2002!! WOW!!

Italians are very "latin" and passionate people. They not only like big buildings, but they also like loud *bangs*. I cannot count how many shops had their shutters down by the time we passed them at 5:30pm, nor can I count the numbers of McDonald's and fast food stores that the locals were throwing *live* firecrackers into the establishment. On the way to the main piazza, my champagne swinging (lightweight) friends and I had to avoid several fire crackers thrown in our pathways, while the locals pissed themselves laughin' from a distance, as if to say:"hehe, fuck the tourists!!"

We laughed. And they laughed.

We eventually got to the main piazza (after several detours to procure alcohol and made "friends" along the way) around 11pm. There was a band in the piazza on the main stage playing something in Italian -- couldn't tell you what they were singing for the likes of me! I would estimate that there were nearly 5,000 people crammed in a small town square watching some Eurotrash band perform "rock", leading up to the new year. People were drinking, smoking dope, n' throwing fire crackers at people's feet, stores, up in the air -- anywhere(!) -- for they were having the times of their life. It was a party day, and damn it, they were going to *party*, whatever happened!

Damn it!

As we started to go thru the countdown, the three of us, by which time were soaked to our bone marrow with champagne, beer, wine, cidre, and any form of alcohol falling from the skies at that time, managed to hook up with 4 stoned Italian teenagers who were passing round the "dutchie, 'pon da left hand side" (so to speak....)

"pass de dutchie 'pon da left hand side"

We shouted from the top our lungs in unity: "dieci, nove, otto, sette, sei, cinque, quattro....." the only Italian that we remembered from our travel guides -- once again we were united thru the universal language of the soul in those moments leading up to the begining of 2002 and the precious moments that followed...

WHOA!!!! FELICIDAD! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! (booming firecrackers /arms(?) in the background....)

That day I don't know how many people I hugged, how many people I wished "happy new year" in a language they probably didn't understand, how many people I shared a bottle of champers, or a joint for that matter. I saw many "happy" italian locals, elderly and young, in the piazza -- they were celebrating the begining of 2002 like there was no tomorrow. Yeah, I saw many injuries (people were throwing bottles of 1664's up in the air that landed on their drunken head causing serious cuts, bruises, and maybe lost eyes. But it was fun tho!), had loads of fireworks thrown under my feet (for a joke), and people jumping up and down celebrating the new year. But it was FUN!!

Fuck, it was a special day? Right?

I will never forget Bologna. We checked out of the hotel at 6am, called a taxi, only to get to the airport before it opened. (everyone was on celebratory mode, right?) We sat in the lobby talking about how cold, but fun it was the night before, and talked to fellow travellers about the wonders and sights of Bologna. (or the lack thereof)

If I was ever given a choice to celebrate new years eve in Bologna again, I will "defo" take up the offer!!!

Again, and again, and again...

New Year's Celebrations -- Introduction

This is the 32nd time I have seen a "new year". I have spent new years in many different countries, for my father was a diplomat, and I also like to travel during the winter holidays. (keeps me away from my crazy mum... bless her, but she is crazy!)

I would like to share with you the best and the worst of my New Year's experience...

The Slut Test!

Ok, one of my favourite bloggers, Miranda, has found this hilarious site!!!! (Thx Miranda! Was too funny!)

Check it out ==> The Slut Test !!


I know you are bored after days and days of entertaining the "family" over Christmas.... have some fun!!

(BTW, I am only 54% slutty... I thought it would be *a lot* lower considering that my nickname amongst my friends is "Da Nun". There may be some hope for me yet....)

Late Christmas Cards

Ok, I have far *too* much time on me....

Found a site that selects Christmas cards based on a simple questionaire...

Well here's mine -- so true, so true...

Get Your Own Christmas BlogCard Here!

OK, I'm bored as fuck!

Bad Luck & Buses Come in 3's. Introducing 3's -- Three (odd) things about the DWR

OK, I pinched this from Miranda and Missy.... Galz, loved your response!!

My turn to reveal my 3s...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Drunken Wench Rambler (DWR, or DW.Rambler)
Mizzie
Oira (Means "S'mee" in Japanese)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My arms
My inner voice
My insatiable hunger and energy to get to the truth

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Drink too much
Too nice to arseholes
My feet (They're sooooo ugly! I hate wearing sandals....)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
Japanese
Tanzanian
Martian(?)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
The thought of being sexually assaulted (luckily I haven't, phew. I'm sorry if any of you have.)
Losing any one of my 5 senses.
Being trapped under rubble after a massive earthquake, dying slowly...

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Food for thought
Laughter
Inspiration

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
Navy fleece trousers
Black G-string
Navy stripy sweatshirt (sans bra, I may *add*. NO BRA!! I'm at home, fuck that shit!)

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS (or artists) AT THE MOMENT:
Pablo Picasso (artist)
BwanaK (musician)
Ken Hirai (musician; plus he's reeeeeaaally good looking!! WOOF!)

THREE REASONS YOU'VE BROKEN UP WITH EXES:
There was no future.
Too ugly.
They were gay.

THREE THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Friendship
Freedom
Respect

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Personality
Intelligence
Lean triceps

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE SAME SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Ability to be there when shit hits the fan
Ability to talk about everything and anything
They don't sleep with your man (or at least you trust them not to!)

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
Eat bugs
Have sex with people that I am not attracted to (especially people with poor oral hygiene)
Keep my opinions to myself (I do, however, deliver my message "sugar coated", "wrapped in a ribbon", and with a *smile*. "Would you like some fries with that? Ok. Have a nice day!" )

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE PASTIMES:
Trekking
Yoga
Finding a new hobby

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
Quit my job and blog for a living
Go scuba diving in the tropics
Have more time to myself

THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
Thailand (again, and again)
Maldives
Tibet

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Do everything that I want to do -- so I have no regrets (including going to Tanzania, my father's home, to climb Mt. Kirimanjaro)
Finish my book
Meet my soulmate

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ok, now dear readers, go thru these questions. What are your 3's??

Happy New Year Y'all!!! Gong Xie Fat Choi, Akemashite Omedeto Gozaimasu -- and all that shite

Sake -- for cleansing the soul, mind you!

p.s. you can find more Japanese NewYear's photo's here hope you enjoy them!

DWR