Lobotomised

Never in my proffessional life have I worked in a more DULL place than the "semi-cubicle" area in my old-old office building. My section, which comprises Big Boss 1, Big Boss 2, and Lil'ole Me, has been scattered like a supernova across the universe. *splat* Big Boss 1 has her own office. Big Boss 2 has his "Communal Bossoffice", and I am lumbered in the "Hotelling" area in my "Easy Recliner" sitting next to people who I assume work for the same company.

As I sit here contemplating silly things like whether "Wormholes will surpass Portals" and make sense for future health plans, especially if portal maturity is low, I realised that there is something wrong with me. My brain is not functioning properly -- it is almost as if I am on Benzodiazepines and Coffee, while I snort Prozac thu my ears.... Why?

I am surrounded by crazy people!!!!!!! AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

I am sitting next to people who send emails to their colleagues sitting OPPOSITE them, or even if they DO converse, they speak only in 3 letter acronyms. "Hey the PDI, and ERP are WTF'd. Can you KAT the PDA now?" The woman sitting opposite my divider has just received a call on her MOBILE from her colleague sitting two dividers down!! (try using the office phone, love, it's right there in front of you! Better still -- walk to your mate to talk to her!!!)

This is not right. I need to be moved to a different area. These crazy people are tapping their feet to music they cannot hear (maybe they can hear mine! shit!), and thru-out the day they keep looking over towards me... I wonder why? Am I paranoid? Do I need more drugs? Have they never seen a valentine's bouquet before? (yes, my honey sent me flowers to my office.) What is WRONG with these people??? Have they never seen flowers before? DO NOT EAT MY FLOWERS!!! NOT FOOD!!!

*breath, breath, breath*

If I sit here any longer, I would be lobotomised by zombie-rays emitted by the "unknown" employees of the Pink Elephant (UEPE). Maybe it's time for me to go upstairs and find the drunken wench friends. They are the only sane ones here! (Plus I want to show them my flowers -- tee hee!)

(Post script: as someone who has majored in two biomedical sciences, it gives me a perfect opportunity to examine the habits of the UEPEs. I have a client meeting tomorrow morning, but apart from that I am on my own again surrounded by these headcases, I mean, specimens. So far today I have identified 7 UEPEs that sit by me, exhibiting behaviour that can only be induced by atrophy in the hippocampus. I have also seen at least two that exhibit neurodegeneration in the basal ganglia. Perhaps I am on the verge of a break-thru in medical science! I may finish that PhD in neuropathology afterall!!! Or there again, maybe not...)