Sunday, February 06, 2005

Yes, Yes, Yes, YEEEEEEEESSSS!!!

No, it's ok, everyone. I am not having an orgasm on my blog. I'm not an exhibitionist. Nor am I getting any....

Yet.

No. I have managed to get the flights booked for my yoga retreat/diving holiday to Thailand; I'm going via Hong Kong to see my friends whom I have not seen since last March. This is my first holiday since March last year when I travelled thru China, (yes, it has been nearly a year!) and I am in desparate need of R&R. It is not normal for people to be "strapped" to their grey desks, basking in fluorescent lights, wearing a suit nearly 50% of the day in any given weekday (yes, work it out 12hrs is half a day!). Do that for a year without an extended break away from the mundane shites of life?

You go crazy like me.

Ask any of my colleagues. I *appear* normal when they shine that pale white light onto me; I am docile, obiedient, and fake-smiling while busting their balls (and no I do not work in the sex industry), but give me sunshine? The full spectrum from our closest star? I will blossom, *smile*, jump around, and become active. I start running, swimming, trekking up mountains, and playing "spiderman" on indoor free-climbing walls (I'm not good enuf to free climb outside, but will get there, don't worry!). Shine the fluoresant light, and my metabolism and creative brainwaves slow down almost to a halt. Imagine a turtle getting ready for hybernation? Well that's me in the office.

Anyway, yes, yes, yes, yes, YEEEEEESSSSS!!! HOLIDAY IN PARADISE!!!!!

You will not believe it! Eleven days away from the wench mum, away from the fluorescent lights, away from the pollution, away from arseholes who tell me what to do, and how much sand I should put in that vaseline, while I bend over and take it in the back door. Away away away!!!!! I will be spending 2 days in Hong Kong visiting my friends, 5 days on Koh Mak learning to contort myself so that I can fit into a match box (kiddin'). On the island I will be eating only vegitatian food in my vain attempt to reverse all the damage done over Christmas, no let me rephrase, over the past 16+ years, but no hoses pipes up my arse. I did not go for the "irrigation" option, nor does my yoga retreat offer colonic irrigation. I really do not like the idea of going on a retreat with complete strangers knowing that we collectively do yoga, eat, and have 5 litres of some "herbal" liquid agent pumped into our bowels three times a day so that I can expell all the crap that has been residing there for the past decade, or so. If I go, it is ONLY with someone that I am very intimate with coz it's kind of embarrasing to discuss matters like that. Unlike my mum and her Morning Mantras, I am slightly more modest.

After my yoga retreat, I am just going to go where the wind takes me -- as long as there is a beach and a dive shop I am THERE! I will probably spend the last 4 days reading, writing, jogging, diving, and writing some more. No mobile phones, no alarms, no hassles, no one. Just me, my thoughts, and the elements.

Ahhhh... Such heavenly bliss.

So I guess this is my way of introducing a new series (I like series, huh? Well life is like a novel right? There is a begining and an end, with chapters in between). I have not thought of a tile for this upcoming series so I'm up for ideas from readers. I will be using the best idea submitted by midnight Feb.17th GMT+12hrs, and post for the duration of my holiday (when possible). Who's the judge? My cutie and me! (And no, my cutie cannot join me on this holiday -- boo hoo, but he will get lots of updates about my funky holiday!)

So, I'm open to suggestions. Readers, any suggestions for my holiday series title? I am aaaall ears!

(Post Script: Just in case you are wondering, I leave tokyo on Feb 19th and return on March 1st. So! I will announce the winning title on the 18th and start from there.)

4 comments:

LeftoverJoe said...

I'd say a vacation like that after such a long time is definitely cause for an orgasm. What would that be...a bloggasm? Hehe. I am extremely jealous right now...although the whole suit wearing all the time stuff I am not so jealous of honestly.

It sounds like you deserve this break though.

For your office you should get one of those awesome little light bulbs that puts out the same UV spectrum as sunlight so your body is fooled into thinking it really is and your mind is so much happier automatically. I love tricking my own mind like that.

Anyway, I will now be tricking myself into sleeping, for tomorrow I road trip into the countryside! Cheers.

Drunken Wench Rambler said...

oh sorry for the confusion, what I meant was I want suggestions for the Title for Yoga Resort/Diving Holiday In Thailand coz I'm going to write everyday in diary form and call it a series. (I know... I like writing everyday, so might as well put a little bit of structure in my daily madness, right?)

Ok, let me edit the original text. That maybe better; say "Holiday SERIES Title" then no confusion. :)

Unknown said...

Glad to hear you're getting a break at last, much-needed as well from what I've gathered. A title...hmmm...

Causing Traumas in Thailand?
Sunbathing Scandals?
Holidaying Hos?

Okay, I'll admit my brain's slightly off kilter today.

Ouija27 said...

You people cannot come up with a decent name for the holiday series. This is clear, so I will step in and at least give the Wench a few ideas:

1. Da Wench Retreat
2. Big Solid Holiday
3. Leave me along I am on Vacation.
4. Death to the Pink Elephant.

maybe your boyfriend and you can pick one of those... I think some are cleaver.