Leave Me Alone I Am On Vacation: Day 2

8:13am: Yeah so I was wasted last night with my HK version of the drunken wench friends: J, E, and S. I'd like to think/say that it was the first time in ages, but I am going to give you, dear readers, the raw story. I got wasted because its the last time I will probably be getting any booze for the next 9 days. I am going to be on a vegitarian yoga retreat with my yoga teacher Dan. I'm fucking lucky that I am not going on one of those "hose up your arse" yoga retreats, for I have heard many trippy stories about them. I'm very happy that I am not going to the "Octupus's Garden In The Shade" where I am gazing at "Marmalade Trees With Looking Glass Eyes" with my friend "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" learning yoga from "The Fool On The Hill"... if you know what I mean.

Shit! I wonder how my body will take the detox!!!!!

I woke up this morning to J's two little dogs that were whining. I thought they were hungry (just like the cats back home when they meow incessantly when their bowl is empty), but it seemed that only wanted attention. They wanted to play. At 11 and 9 years old TinTin and Fritzy were really excited to see me at this unhuman hour.

Me. TinTin. Fritzy. No J. And no Mr. and Mrs C. (yet).

I played with the dogs for a while; they seemed to like the "sit, stay, gooddoggy!!" game. They can go for hours!! I suppose dogs are very unlike cats; Belle and George constantly request a different version of "moving stringy"...

Oh, I miss Belle and George.

Oh yes. I forgot the Wench Mum!! I wonder if she is missing me?

6:08pm: Phew! That was an ordeal! Shit I am still shaking from the experience of nearly having missed my flight coz I thought that someone was going to die! Fuck!!!! Ok, lets take a step back and I will tell you the entire story, but let me first order a Bloody Mary to calm my nerves. What is it with airports and the DWR? Why is it that I have for two days in a row had some *event* at the airport that is worthy of a mention?

WTF? All I wanted was a holiday, none of this shit!!!

So. Unlike my usual self I am *not* running fashionably late for my flight from Hong Kong to Bankok. I checked all my luggage in at Central Station by 2:30pm; my friend, R, offered me a ride to the spa so that I could have some last minute "alterations" just like bridesmaids that have had one too many Guinesses in the past few weeks/months leading up to the wedding.

I was sitting by the airport internal shuttle stop when an old, oriental gentleman walks off the escalator, trips, spins around, and falls flat on the hard marble floor hitting his head really hard!!

Just like that.

My mind just suddenly went on autopilot, and before I knew it I was speaking to the people around me to watch his vital signs, "Can someone ask him if he is OK. I don't speak cantonese. I will call for help!!", and with that I was running to the nearest emergency phone giving the airport security staff details of where we were, what had happened, and how he was doing. (Luckily, no blood, in and out of consiousness, at the bottom of the entrance for Shuttle to gates 33 - 80).

The old man was speaking Cantonese to the 7 people who had enough sense to make sure that he was OK, and that he kept his eyes open till security came to see if he was OK. FUUUUUUCK!! I was on the line to security to give a realtime update of the man's situation. Luckily by the time that they arrived the old man was able to stand up, only to sit back down on the nearest chair banging his head on the wall behind him. *ouch, that must have hurt*

It turns out that this man (who had a cut on his nose, another recent injury according to him) was a 64 year old, Japanese businessman, who probably had spent half his life in a constant state of alcohol intoxication. He had been propping up the bar (again), realised that his flight was about to take off without him, and rushed to the terminal only to fall over in front of me. By which time I myself was running VERY fashionably late because this old Japanese geezer decided to fake a heart attack in front of me.

Great. Fucking great.

Why is it that my fellow countrymen HAUNT me with the stupidity even when I am on holiday when I am abroad? I thought I escaped the Chunder Trains, and the loud, Karaoke-microphone weilding "businessmen"? This is appauling!!! I just cannot wait for the next Bloody Mary, and the warm, welcoming greetings from the Thai people. Oh wait, I still have to endure the rip-off merchants who claim to be taxi drivers, asking for stupidly rediculous prices for a ride to my hotel.

Great. Fucking great.

11:00pm (or there abouts): I am in Bangkok now. The cabbie *did* try to rip us off as I had expected, and ran for about 5 mins without turning the meter on. "Oh, I take you 350baht, meter service charge 50baht."

No. Fuck off. It does not cost 400baht to get to central Bangkok, now put the metre on. YES?

In the end it cost us only 149bahts to get to our destination. Why am I haunted by silliness. I just hope that things improve from tomorrow. The weather is nice though. That is a consolation. Now I am off to do other things... like chill out?!