My Treasures -- Belle and George (Part 4 -- Today)

It always amazes me when I come across cruelty towards helpless animals. I would love to look into the mind of someone cruel enough to leave newborn kittens out in the cold to die of exposure, or to put them in plastic bags, tie it up, and leaving them to the fate of suffocation.

Why?

It does not take that much -- either time-wise, or financially to find someone who wants to give them a home, or to have them put down if it's too late. Many vets are willing to help you for free, and there are many NGOs and NPOs who will find, or act as a foster home for unwanted pets. In England, where I grew up, the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Animals) sponsors an ad, around Christmas time, with a strong message towards those who buy puppies (and kittens) as Christmas presents, only to get bored when the puppy is no longer is cute, and subsequently gets abandoned, or even worse, abused...

" A dog is for life, not just for Christmas" -- RSPCA Ad Slogan

I would like to extend this message to all the unwanted cats, rabbits, ferrets, hamsters, and all other pets that are bought with casual intend, and not looked after for life.

Their life.

Today Belle and George are healthy, happy cats, although Belle still prefers to sit on "top" of boxes (rather than to sit in one) and George does not like to sleep under the covers -- it's too suffocating for him. What happened to them not long after they were born are still in their memories. They will forever carry the trauma of someone's cruel acts toward them. What was their sin? What did they ever do, but be born to a person who didn't want to look after them?

Imagine being locked up in a cold box, without much vision, confused and without your mother, watching Death's breath take your brothers' life one by one? Imagine being sick and sealed in a bag, struggling for air, while you can hear the carrions outside, eagerly waiting for your last wheezing breath.

I don't want to die! Meoooooow!

Belle and George are my treasures, and they are the best of friends. They sat with me through thick and thin. They were there when I was in and out of an abusive relationship. They were there through other break-ups. They are there when I get asthma attacks, or when I am down with a cold. They are always there, giving me unconditional love. We've had to move houses 5 times in the past 5 years, but not a single grumble from them (I, unfortunately, cannot give them the most stable home, but I try my best). They still both come running when I call their names. They still keep my feet warm on those cold winter nights. The choose to stay with me, and I hope they will be with me for life.

Their life....

best of friends

(Post script: There are many animal shelters and providers of foster homes in Japan. Many of these resources are in Japanese, but I here's a site maintained in English. The Animal Rights Center not only look after unwanted pets, they also look after pets that were separated from their owners during natural disasters e.g. earthquakes. Many emergency shelters for people do not allow the owners to live with their pets, and sometimes the owners of pets found after an earthquake cannot be located. It is organisations like this that reduce the number of Belles and Georges. They are the ones that really look after our animals -- for life.

Places to place ads if you find an unwanted pet/or look for pets needing homes:

Metropolis Classifieds Section(in English)
Pet's City (only in Japanese)
Animal Refuge Kansai (only in Japanese, Kansai Region.)
Animal Welfare Groups List (only in Japanese, all Regions)
Hugs for Homeless Amimals (in English, International)

If you are looking to be a foster parent for unwanted pets in Japan, you can also contact your local Department of Sanitation (Eiseikyoku) and ask if they have unwanted animals that they have under their protected care.)

My Treasures -- Belle and George (Part 3 -- George)

Jogging in the spring mornings is always refreshing. The air is not too cold, it gets lighter earlier (as a female lone jogger, light is verrrry important for safety reasons, even if you live in a country with one of the lowest violent crime rates) and you see familar old faces taking their dogs for a walk.

By May 2000, my health had recovered dramatically, I had one months' break before I started my new job at my current employer's, I radically changed my hairstyle, and everything seemed really rosey... apart from my relationship.

I had been living with my ex for nearly 2 years. We frequently used to argue about me being subborn, and reluctant to "commit" (in his eyes, well. I just wasn't really ready for the "M" step). We used to have many arguments -- just like most couples, but the reason why I was not sure to take our relationship to the next step was his terrible temper.

He's usually a mild mannered person, but when he gets pissed off? WHOA! How many plates flew, how many times did he pack his bags threatening to leave me (then ask why I wasn't stopping him?!), how many times did he pick me up, shook me, and kicked me out the house, only to come running after my by the time I got to the lift, holding only my legs begging me to come back? Once too often, in my opnion.... (for your information, this is the only X that I refuse to speak to this day)

And no wonder I used to leave early during the day, and come back late at night after he had gone to bed...

Anyway, back to jogging in May. Tokyo has loads of crows -- just remember the Hitchock film "The Birds", and there you have it. We've destoyed their habitat so much that you find nearly a million of those flying omnivors ransacking rubbish bags in search of food scraps.

That day, once again, I was jogging past a rubbish dump. There were at least 5 crows fighting over kitchen scraps, and anything they can get their hands on. This time in addition to the five crows there was a black plastic bag... that moved. I didn't think too much of it at the time (I guess one of those crows got into the bags, I suppose).

Mouuuuw.

Huh?

Mouuuuuuuw.

Shit, not more cats that got thown away!

I approached the rubbish dump, trying not to upset the crows, coz I know how smart and how violent they can be. And there it was, the black pastic bag, tied in a perfect knot containing the kitties.

Whoever put the kittens in this bag intended it for it to die...

I took the bag away, and opened it gingerly. How many are in here? How many are alive? How many are dead, their small bodies eaten up by maggots? And with those words in my head I opened the plastic bag, and there he was. One skinnly, little kitten, as black as the plastic bag that he was left to die in; his eyes were puffy and half open due to some form of infection....

Mooouuuuuw.

Just as I took Belle to the vet's I took him straight away. The vet took one look at him and said that he had conjunctivitis probably caused by the flu, he probably had other illnesses, and judging by his weight he probably also contracted viral leukemia. He many not live past a year old, he said.

Regardless of the outcome I asked the vet to look after him. He was estimated at 1 month old when I found him. He went thru a lot of treatment to clear his eyes, and tried to get his weight up to fight the infections. When the final blood tests for feline lukemia came back as negative I knew he was going to come home with me.

Fallen Over Drunk... George and Bottle Cheap of Romanian Red

George was in hospital for the next two months; he first came home in August. At the time I spent so much time either at work, or at the vet's that my ex was relieved when George came home. He thought that we can at last work on our relationship, start afresh with a new kitten in the house.

Dear readers, I'm sure some of you have seen (been in) similar situations where two people having relationship problems look to a new baby/new pet to see if they can make things work. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. In my case, it didn't...

(To be continued... Part 4 -- Today)

My Treasures -- Belle and George (Part 2 -- Belle)

I developed Chronic Bronchial Asthma when I was 25. I got a cold and went to the doctors who gave me so many different drugs -- all with the same actions and efficacy (I found out too late). In those days doctors got paid by the healthcare system based on how much the prescribed to their patients.... I was given at least three different types of NSAIDs (non steroid anti inflammatory drugs, e.g. Tylenol/Paracetamol, Ibuprofen, etc.) and other dubious cocktails of dihydrocodeine phosphate, antibiotics (gram negative, gram positve, and broard spectrum). The works.

My body at that point decided to just say "nope, can't process anymore of this. I'm going on strike." And that was that... I developed Asthma as an adult as an allergic reation to the drug coctails given to me....

I have always been a fairly active person all my life. I love to run, to swim, to go hiking, but now I was handicapped. I would walk less than 50m before some little old lady with a walking stick would overtake me!!! At 25 I was walking slower than an octagenerian.... I could not breath like everyone else. I have called the ambulance on at least 3 occations only for them to find me passed out by my front door when they arrive, because I lost consciousness waiting for them... In short, I was fucked.

As time went by I my health was improving, but so was my weight (it was too much for my already weak knees from the initial cortitosteroid treatment....) OK, DWR, time to do some exercise like the doctor suggests, start off with a simple walk, then a jog. After living with chronic asthma for 1.5years, I decided that I wanted to run slowly again. I used to jog in a small park around the back of my home -- the jog was probably no longer than 1.5km, but everyday was a struggle to draw air into my lungs and to expel it (did you know, readers, for asthmatics it's not drawing in the air, it's breathing it out that is sooooo much more difficult!) as I took nearly 40mins to run that 1.5km.

On Oct 28th 1999, I was jogging as usual. The weather was turning from autumn to the beginning of winter. The cold air would often trigger a mild attack, but I used to suck on my Salbutamol and keep going. The air was cold, but not cold enough to leave it's mark when you exhaled. I ran past a rubbish collection area. There were all sort of rubbish there, mainly from people's homes, but that day there was something different. There it is was. A meow. A loud persistent meow coming from somewhere in the rubbish dump.

Being a curious person, and a lover of cats, I went up to the mountain of rubbish, and found at the bottom of it a small cardboard box that was meowing to me.

Shit, there are cats in here, and they sound like kittens!

I opened the box gingerly so as to not scare the creatures inside the box, and there they were: three kittens. One, a white one, was already dead and was slowly being eaten away by maggots, the others, a ginger Tom, was laying on the other side of the box grasping for air just like I had been for the past year and a half, and there was the lone tortoiseshell, crying her lungs out. She was the one that brought me to their coffin. None of them had their eyes open.... I took the box and ran as fast as I could to the nearest vetinarians. I knocked on a few doors, but was refused coz the didn't "consult out of hours". After my third attempt I found Watson's Animal Hospital. They opened their doors to me when I told them that I found kittens that needed help.

The vet was a kind man. He gets subsidised by the local authorities to take on cases like my kittens, but he was so saddened to see the dead kitten. I asked him how old he thought they were. Oh, less than a week old. Their eyes are not fully open. Let me see what I can do.

For the next three weeks I went to see the remaining two kitties everyday. Unfortunately after the third day the ginger Tom died. All we had was the strong, vocal tortoishell female that lead me to her and her brothers...

In the end, after three weeks of multiple blood tests, and health checks I found that the tortoishell female was as fit as a fiddle! The vet asked me if I wanted to put together an adoption poster for his office. My answer was no. She came to me. I'll look after her. She chose me, and now, I am choosing her.

And that is how I got Belle. Bouncy Belle, for she was born without a tail so unlike most cats that I have seen, she bounced (or still bounces) like a rabbit.

Bouncy Belle.

Three blind cats, Three blind cats,

See how they run,

See how the cry,

They all got put in a carboard box,

N' they all were going to die that night

If you're jogging, would you have heard their voice,

Those thee blind cats....

Bob-Tailed Belle on her "Soap Box" (5 years later)

(no dear readers, I didn't cut off her tail on purpose, nor did the people who left her in that cardboard box did that to to here. Belle is unique. She is a bob-tailed cat. But her sense of balance is a lot better than George....)

(To be continued.... Part 3 George)

My Treasures -- Belle and George (Part 1 -- Introduction)

If you are asked by someone what do you treasure most, what would be your relpy? Family? Friends? Lovers? Your Home? Or would it be that "Awsome" PC that you built last week? It's a difficult question to answer, isn't it? I was once put on the spot by one of my ex's with a similar question, but he was forcing me choose out of two: (you never give Libras choices)

Which is more important? Me or Your Cats!!

Both.

WHAAAAAATT!!!! (and the intense arguing followed...)

My cats have been with me for five years! To me he was asking me to chose my children over him (I had been dating him for less than 6 months). Of course I loved him, of course he was important to me... but to make me chose between him and my cats? To be honest with you my feelings were: why are you asking me this question. Why do you want to hear my answer....

Coz you see, I have two treasures that are dear to my heart. My two treasure that have been for me thru thick and thin. My two treasures: Belle and George.

(To be continued... Part 2 Belle)

OK, Funny Bunnies..... Where the F**k is My BOMB????

Dear readers, as you know, I found an interesting article at the begining of this month about drunk, chatty French bomb squad officers, and their stupid dogs with a cold, losing 150g of semtex (plastic explosives) ... well, I have been monitoring the news from Reuters, Le Figaro, the Gardian... even the ONION (!!!) for the past few days...

But alas.... rien.

Where the f**k did the semtex go to? Did it end up in the middle east? Did it end up in North Korea? Did it end up back in France????

Does anyone know where the semtex went to?? I am curious. If anyone has any info on the 150g of semtex, I would like to know.

If you have any info on the lost semtex, please call up your law enforcement agency and threaten them with "terrorist activites", coz you have the French Semtex -- in your hands as you speak!!

I wonder how they would react.... oh, and please don't forget to post your results. I may use it in another social experiment. DWR

Advertising. I'm Selling Out!!

As you know, dear readers, the number of posts per day on this blog have been dwindling lately, for I have many serious issues that I wish to post. Very serious; and it requires a lot of interviews. At the same time Nutts and I are also wading thru the muddy process of getting my blog to it's new home so we can reach a broader audience to hear my inner voice...

In the past I have thought about advertising so that I can make a living out of doing something that I enjoy. Almost like my current job as a management consultant: I tell pharma companies and chemical manufacturers to clean up their act by designing and implementing EMS (environment management systems) such as SAP's EHS module, which is part of the SAP PLM solution, and make sure that the pharma co/chemical co's shipment of "toxic goo" crosses boarders, waters, and your highways safely, fully compliant under national AND international dangerous goods logistics/occupational health and safety/environmental regulations. I also tell them to how to cut down costs, reduce time to market, and all that jazz, so that old people can get their Jellies and Viagra cheaper.

I have resisted soooo many times to go commercial, for my philosophy and my only intension is to share my stories, other people's stories, my thoughts, my observations, and my time to those that share theirs with me.... but alas, the time for me to sell out has come.

I will go and join some affiliate, or another, and someone can pay me to write. I'll continue my day job, of course (otherwise I will not be able to get my monthly facials at Boudoir). But somehow, somewhere, I need financial assistance to give me more *time* to expand my blog.

I'm selling out. Big time! So, for my first sell out here it is:

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Watch the The Horde ShowTM!! Available On PC's All Over The Planet!

Don't Miss Da First Episode of The Horde Show!TM

Available Only On-Line....

(warning: show contains strong language not suitable for kiddies and prissies)

"It is hilarious! It is neo-satire! It is a fusion of Monty Python, The Blair Witch Project, Trigger Happy TV, Beavis and Butthead, Ren and Stimpy, South Park, and more!!! " -- The Drunken Wench Ramblings

"I can't believe you can watch this shit for free!! Yes, FOR FREE!!!! No need for money back guarantees, coz you get it ALL 4 FREE!!!!" -- D.W.Rambler

"These guyz are too funny! Tickled my funny bone!" -- The DWR

>>>>>>>>>>>>

phew. now that wasn't too bad now, was it, DWR. You can now contact Amazon, Boudoir, Channel 4 TV productions, SAP, and tell them that you just provided advertising space for them. As for the producers of The Horde Show, well, y'know.... They kinda sponsor your site anyway, so give them the ad space for free. It's not that big, plus, they don't send you nasty spam like DR/MRS what's her(his) name from Nigeria.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dear readers, I decided to advertise The Horde Show, for I am currently researching my country's laws on freedom of speech, and the press. The US, where The Horde Show was conceived and filmed, has in it's First Amendment the right to freedom of speech, and the press.

There are many countries today that do not guarantee it's people (such as China or North Korea) the right to speak freely and to express themselves. Today we have technology that goes beyond borders as a medium for these people to speak freely. But they are still monitored... and oppressed. My country's constitution gives me freedom of speech, and publication, but it reserves the rights to "censor" textbooks of our youth so that the Ministry of Education can hide our history of our military agression in the 20th century... (I bet it was someone like OJ's lawyers that drafted my constitution!!!)

I admire the spirit of the producers of The Horde Show. They didn't like watching Murdock TV, so they made their own show! Brilliant!

To the producers of The Horde Show: Ok, not everyone may see your sense of humour (I really *loved* the WaterMelonvangelist and Hunter Todd's Shoes!!!), but that's OK. I don't expect everyone to like what I write, but I write anyway, so I think it's a good start, and I think you should keep going. I hope you appreciate your freedom to express your work, for there are millions of people out there who get executed, or locked up in internment camps for doing what you did. Yes, I'll admit that just as Japan has it's flaws, so does your country, but please count yourself lucky, for you would have been executed by now if you were a resident of North Korea. (and as for managing your finances? well... I suggest that you post subsequent episodes for a small fee... with SPAM. I can put you in touch with a certain DR/MRS. KEMA CHIKWE who seems to be an expert in that area... of course for a small consulting fee. (riiiiiight)

Keep it as it is! Freedom to Speak! Freedom to Shout! Freedom to Express Your Views!!!

Freedom. I love that word...

(Postscript: many, many thanks to my dear friend, C, who has helped me to take the bold step, and make that decision to enter the "market"... Thanks for all your advice, C. I really *do* need help! Writing and trying to start up a business AND hold a full time job? Not that easy.... but I will do it. For there are many messages that need to be told. Thank you, C.)

Numbers... A Dedication To My Readers

When I first started this blog, I did it for just me. I like to write, but I was too shy to share any of my work. One day my brother, Kaoru Mfaume (aka.Bwana K, a musician, a businessman, an artist, and the director of acquisitions at Manga Entertainment), read my stuff, told me that I should write, and that's how this blog came to be. I was not too bothered about who read my postings, who passed by, or who dissed me.... I wrote my ramblings as a hobby. I didn't care how many people read my stuff. Whatever... They are on the other end of the PC, right?? I don't see them. I also won't tell my *real* friends that I blog. Blogging was all for *me* (quite selfish, I know, but that was my mentality back in Oct when I started the drunken wench ramblings) But as time passed I realised that there are real people out there who are reading my stuff. They spend time to read my postings, and actually take a good look at what goes on in my mind.

That's when I decided that I want to put a counter on my site. On Nov. 21 (sun.) I looked into putting counters to sites. And that's what you see at the bottom of my site, dear readers. It's somewhere in the region of 990 something right now...

Anyway, back to numbers. When I originally put the counter in, I said to myself "I'm going to get a proper domain -- www.drunkenwenchramblings.com when I get to 100 hits....

Umm.... well I got to 100hits in 3 or 4 days. And the numbers have been rising steadily since!!!

(WOW! COOL! Let's make my goal 1000 hits!!! )

Dear readers, I am approaching that number: as I post this at 17:28pm (JST) Dec. 15 2004, my counter shows that I've had 993 drunken hits. And guess what? I got my domain name, hosting service, and once I figure out the technical part of moving all to my new home I will be here --> www.drunkenwenchramblings.com

Thank you everyone for all your support! I couldn't have got this far without y'all!!!

Cheerz!!

DWR.

(for now, the drunken wench ramblings will still be here. Will announce as soon as I make it to my new home... )

Dry Spell? Well, Not Really

It's already Wednesday and I still have nothing new published since Monday.

What's wrong, DWR? Have you run out of ideas? Do you have the flu? Wassup? Why have you not posted since your ramble about the Orange Man on Monday? You usually post everyday...

Yes, that is true. I usually write a draft, or two (in my little note book -- yes I am still analog!) during my lunch break, go home, type it up in a "mildly altered state"... Ok, yeah, I'm intoxicated. Hell! I'm only typing what I drafted!! It's OK isn't it? (must admit I do have some moments where I deviate from the original draft, but hey, what are drafts for? They are there to be finalised anyway! Ok, yup, I'm one of the proud alcoholics.) And finally when I wake up sober, I re-read, I re-write, then I post my ramblings.

Simple.

Well, not quite....

The (un)fortunate thing is that I have loads of thoughts. In addition to my multiple thoughts, I *see* new things that get me thinking even more. Some of these things that I encounter accidentally have a long history that requires more than 2hrs of research. Some even involve interviews with the "real" people that are involved with what I see.

I have a full time job that does not give me the time to catch up on all my ideas; right now I have - get this- 54(!!!!) articles that are waiting to be posted. Out of the 54, there are 31 items that require both an interview, and extensive research, 16 that need just the research, and three that I am missing pictures to go with the text. This leaves me with only 4 ideas (as of today) that need no research, interviews, photos.... but alas I have no time. Do you know why? It's that time of the year where you get invited to friends' Christmas parties and office do's. None Stop!! Luckily, I don't need to sleep much so I hope to get the others done for you, but pls bear with me at this very difficult time of the year.

On *top* of all this I have set up (paid for) my own domain, web hosting et. al, so that I can publish my blog there... but I still can't seem to work that built-in ftp thing... I don't have access to my ftp server, files, nothing yet... still working on it, tho.

(You'd never believe that I'm an IT consultant, would you?!)

Anyway in the meantime let me give you an idea of all the WIP by introducing you to some of my resources (all in English). Please have a look, let me know if you have found anything in there that spurrs your interest (chances are I am already working on it as you read!).

However.

I will keep y'all guessing as to what *exactly* I will be posting over the next few days/weeks. (Shit! It's almost like not knowing what you're going to get for Christmas, right?)

Anyway, here are some of the links:

Resource 1

Resouce 2

Resource 3

Resource 4

Resource 5

Resource 6

Resource 7

Resource 8

Resource 9

Resource 10

Resource 11

Resource 12

Resource 14 (coz 13 is an unlucky number)

There. That should keep you all occupied and guessing while I work on my writing. (I know it keeps *me* occupied. There are many other sources, but unfortunately they are either in Japanese, not online, or have not entered my thoughts....)

Right, back to my emails, my research, my work, and..... oh, Christmas parties!! Phew!! This IS a busy time of the year.

DWR

A Small Orange Man and the Devil's Advocate

Yesterday I met one of the smallest man -- ever -- but he stands tall with conviction and pride. He is only 148 cm tall and weighs 35kgs (according to him). And he was orange. And he listens to people's stories for free.

Strange, huh? (and no, I was not tripping or anything.)

His name (alias) is Hirakata Van Damme. He was sitting in Shibuya as I walked past and noticed him sitting in the middle of a busy piazza, on his own, with a big hand written poster that said: Stories. I listen to stories for free. Anything you want to say? I listen for free.

Wow! That's interesting! So I sat down and asked him if he would like to listen to my stories. We talked for nearly 1 hr; a crowd had gathered around us for a while, but dispersed after they realised that our conversations were *way* too over their heads. Anyway, here's one of the things that what we talked about:

D: So, you listen to stories for free, huh? Do you want to listen to my tales? I have many. I am a passionate blogger. I call myself a silent Kataribe, and thru blogging I have researched many things about my own country, and I am baffled each day that I find out more. I recently got pissed off with a passenger on the train, and told this wanker about how shitty the laws are here. Do you know the age of sexual consent for a woman in this country?

O: Hmmm... Dunno. 17?

D: LOL! You have to be kiddin' right? I thought you heard lots of stories -- it's 13. THIRTEEN.
If a 13 year old says of free will "yup I want to have sex" they can. It's not statutory rape! Madness isn't it? This is the only "developed" country that has such stupidity. I write about these things coz they piss me off and....

O: (humph) Well. We have always been this way; it's our custom. There are many books out there today about Che Guevara, and you seem to me like someone who is into being a revolutionary, but you see, it's futile. Even if you kick Koizumi out, he is replaced by another right wing cronnie.

(true)

D: OK, I agree that things just won't change just because our primeminister changes, but the thing is, we are supposed to live in a "democracy", and we need to speak out, stand up, and shout....

O: You really don't understand the rules do you? You can talk to whoever you like here. Anyone. Look around you? People don't care. They are interested only in where their money comes from so they can buy a new gucci bag. They are interested in how they are going to live tomorrow, not stuff that you are rambling on about. There are over 30,000 people who commit suicide every year. THIRTY THOUSAND! And do you know why they die? Coz they realise that it's futile to swim against the tide. It' easier that way. Nothing will change. Don't go around talking about revolution, or whatever, coz nothing is going to change.

(OK, people commit suicide. Fact. I agree...)

D: But don't you feel bad when you go to bed? What about your conscious? How do you feel knowing that our society is fucked up and that there needs to be some changes here and there. I'm only part Japanese, but I am proud of my heritage. I want Japan to be a good country, and this is why I blog and speak up about all the injustices. Someone needs to tell it how it is; OK I do it in a humourous/twisted way, but I still have a message for all my readers. I don't ramble without thought. Do you know why? Because I believe that we can change...

O: I feel sorry for you. You *really* don't understand anything, do you? At your age you still have not learned... (BTW, he is one year younger than me). You have to respect those that uphold the law, maintain the status quo, and keep our tradition. Japan has it's own customs and traditions; we are not like the west. I'm not saying that it's good or bad, but it just is. I don't know why you are talking about revolutions all the time -- have you been reading those trendy books on Che Guevara? And you don't listen to others. You are like just like those foreigners who come here asking me questions, but their Japanese is not as good as yours. Plus they don't understand us fully. We have a long history, a long tradition, and it has always been this way. I listen to people's stories coz it's a depressing world out here, and someone needs to listen to the lost souls, but you know what? You can rant and rave as much as you like... nothing will change. All will still be the same....

(sorry, dude, compared to the rest of the world, Japan's history is fairly new. We are not living in Egypt or Greece here. It's JAPAN. We don't have much records before AD. 600??)

D: I disagree. I think that individuals can organise themselves, and raise a public agenda, and..

O: (humph) See. You are not listening to me. You just don't listen do you? I can tell that you are smart, one of those types that go to Tokyo University (Top Ivy league college in Japan). You have loads of facts up in your head, but you don't understand the real world. You rant and rave about changes, revolution, making a difference, but you have no idea. You don't listen to people. That's the impression that I get from you. You talk too much. And you just don't listen.

(ummm... I thought *you* listened to people's stories, not preach... nevermind. Whatever...)


D: Do you get many people like me who debate with you? About everything and nothing?

O: No. You are the first....

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I promised that I will write about him; he has been (apparently) taken up the Japanese media, recently published a book, and is a bit famous! (I didn't know that at the time, which is probably a good thing, otherwise I would have gone into full DWR trashing mode.) I will admit that his idea about listening to people is admirable. He is sitting out side in the cold giving his time for free. Not many people do that. But that does not mean that I share his views. Perhaps I really don't listen to people. Perhaps I speak up before my debating partner has finished. Perhaps I do rant and rave about stuff, but do you know what, readers, I take action. I do things. Yes, I may not get it right all the time, but I don't sit in the cold, observe all the madness in the world, and leave it at that coz it's "tradition". I don't give up hope on today's youth and say:"well, they will never understand what you are on about"....

The point is, dear orange man, even if only one in 1,000,000 people understand me it is better than none. Resistance is not futile. Rules and Tradition/Customs are meant to be challenged, otherwise our society will never evolve. Yes there are traditionalists, and their views should be heard, but is what they say the absolute truth? The best and only way? No.

Please, Orange Man, I don't want to hear your apathy. I don't want to hear you giving up. Listening to people's voices is passive, but acting upon them... that takes courage. I'm not perfect, but there are people who have managed to make a change like Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Eleanor Roosevelt thru peaceful means. I have not read the recent "trendy" books on Ernesto (Che) Guevara; I don't need to, for I have a dream. A vision, which you cannot see, for you are stuck in your own head. Leave. Explore. See, Hear, Experience. Truely listen to people, to the universal language of the soul, and use their stories to make a difference.

I didn't get a chance to say my last bit, for he was already not listening to me. Funny how he advertised that we was a listener, and couldn't listen to me.

Maybe he's right, and I don't listen to people's views. I have strong convictions about certain things, but so does he. We are the same... but we are looking in different directions.

As advertised in his web page I will go and see him on friday and continue our debate. I know that I cannot change his opinions, but at the same time I know he won't be able to change mine either. I will talk to the Orange one whenever I get a chance to, for although his views are different from mine, I respect him for giving his time away for free. For something he believes in -- he's not imposing on others. Just listening (or at least trying to...)

One last note for you, Orange dude: remember you said that you thought very little of philosophy coz it's a bunch of thoughts by people from ancient times, and is not applicable to today's society? Well here's my story/philosophy for the day:

Iqbal Masih was only 10 years old when he stood up against child labour in Pakistan. The small warrior -- probably smaller than you -- spoke up for what he believed in... and just like Ken Sarowiwa his life was ended abruptly at 12 years old. Tell me, dear Orange one. After listening to stories like this, do you still say that nothing can be changed? Do you block out these stories as you lay there in the dark at night, in your bed as you drift off to sleep?

I know that I don't. And that's why I write. Remember? Oh, I forgot. You only listen to stories that you *want* to hear. Well, I will continue to talk to you, tell you my stories, stories of others that have passed by and left a note on my site. People that I randomly come across, for their stories are more precious than a thousand carat diamond. I know that you will not see life thru my eyes, but that does not matter. I will continue to tell you the stories.

I look forward to our many debates.

conversations with the orange man to continue.....

Can Anyone Help??

As you know, dear readers, I am pulling a "sicky" today, coz I can't be bothered to go into the office. Plus in my line of "business" I can sit at home and "work" (and blog a bit at the same time), and still say on my electronic timesheet that I worked 8hrs on "PD" (which apparently stands for "Proposal Development" or something, but I call it "Perpetual Drab"). I was really looking forward to spending some *quality* time, but, alas, dear readers, I am innundated by work e-mails (actually quite a lot of them) -- they are attacking me like SPAM!!

I need your help to respond to this one; can someome please help? (I can't be bothered... pls post your response to my comments, and I will forward accordingly.)

INFORMATION NEEDED: Your experience with DFARS 252.242-7004 Loan/Pay-back Process in SLAPPER

DETAIL: We are implementing SLAPPER 2.1 for an aerospace firm. This regulation (DFARS 252.242-7004 (e) MMAS Standards (7) (iii) requires the following:

(A) Parts are paid back expeditiously;
(B) Procedures and controls are in place to correct any over billing that might occur;
(C) Monthly, at a minimum, identification of the borrowing contract and the date was borrowed; and
(D) The cost of the replacement part is charged to the borrowing contract.

Since there does not appear to be standard SLAPPER functionality, we are looking for a workaround. Our client has already contacted other Aerospace & Defense contracts without success.

CLIENT NAME/PURSUIT NAME (if allowable): N/A
DATE NEEDED BY: ASAP
RFI ORIGINATOR: W. Ocyholich (somewhere, everywhere, nowhere....)

REPLY INSTRUCTIONS: Hit Reply to All, and the response will be sent to the RFI Originator, GWM, and the DWR (your response will not be sent to everyone on the distribution lists)

Help other practitioners by sharing your information and experience!

(shit, I'm a practitioner! Didn't know that!! WOW! dunno what I practice tho....)

Playing With A Full Deck

Readers, today I am pulling a "sicky" to write. I'm too hung over (after another intense session with my friend, A), the sun is shining, and there's not enuf booze in this house to make a good "hair of the dog" to start my day off. (plus it's the end of year, things are verrrrry slow at the office.)

Anway, enuf hung over ramblings....

While I was doing some Blog research, I found this:

"Bush Cards"!!

View a Sample

Someone with a sense of humour that tickles the ol' DWR!!!! I'm not going to rant about politics, (coz I only ramble) but this is just too funny to be missed!!

(ok, I am going to do more blog research now. sorry for the li'l insert.)

Letters From Africa

My father is from Tanzania, in east africa. He worked for the Tanzanian embassy in Tokyo so my brother and I grew up encountering many african diplomats who were very interesting "businessmen" and "represenatives" of their country (literally and figuratively). Many had import/export businesses going on the side even tho they were civil servants.... but there again, there is not much civility on that continent, neither then, nor today! Oh, and they definately were not "servants", for they all had Filipino maids...

Many of my father's friends, and colleagues, would ship containers of second hand cars, tires, bicycles, LARGE electronics (TVs, video recorders, stereos) -- anything that would fit into a container that could be sold back home for a huge profit. (Why is it that african people like HUGE electronics, like camcorders the size of those carried by TV crews covering the news in war zones?? And why do the TV crew carry such large equipment in dangerous places... hmm) . I grew up watching these african diplomats smuggle precious stones (I remember an incident where a Ghanan diplomat was arrested for smuggling diamonds to Japan in his attachee. Interpol had been after him for years... I wish I could find info on it to link - if anyone can find it, please let me know), transfer Aid money to their Swiss bank accounts, park their cars in the middle of pedestrian crossings, and smugly smile behind the walls of the embassy saying. You can't get me -- hehe -- I have "Diplomatic Immunity!".

In short: I grew up seeing too many corrupt Africans. (my dad used to grumble about them too, for he, like me, was more concerned about politics in Africa-- although he was more "idealistic" than me. Bless him; I think that if I was in his position I too would have taken full advantage of the "fringe benefits".)

So I always piss myself with LAUGHTER when I get stupid emails like this sent to my work e-mail (I have copied the email -- poor syntax and all -- as it was sent to me. Have a read! Too funny!):

Dear Mr. *DWR*, (umm... I'm a *woman*?!)

MY NAME IS DR.MRS KEMA CHIKWE. I AM THE MANAGER CREDIT AND ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT OF NORTH-ATLANTIC SECURITIES COMPANY LTD. ABUJA - NIGERIAN REPUBLIC. I WRITE YOU IN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER WITH A/C NUMBER 14-255-2004/UTB/T. WHO AMONG OTHERS ON BOARD HAD A PLANE CRASH IN USA IN 1999.

(shit, this Dr./Mrs. doesn't know how to take the caps lock off! And when did this plane crash happen? I have never heard of a crash in 1999 over US soil?? )

ALL ON BOARD PERISH AND DIED IN THE PLAN CRASH. SINCE THE DEMISE OF THIS OUR CUSTOMER MR LEVY SHIMONY A LEBANESE IMPORT AND EXPORT TYCOON HERE IN ABUJA.

(Wow! A tycoon! I wonder how he built his empire in a corrupt African country? Can't possibly be legit.)

I HAVE KEPT A CLOSE MONITORING OF THE DEPOSIT RECORDS AND ACCOUNTS SINCE THEN NO BODY HAS COME TO CLAIM THE MONEY IN THIS A/C. AS NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE MR LEVY SHIMONY HAS ONLY $14.5MILLION IN HIS A/C AND THE A/C IS CODED, IT IS ONLY AN INSIDER THAT COULD PRODUCE THE CODE OR PASSWORD OF THE DEPOSIT PARTICULARS AS IT STANDS NOW THERE IS NOBODY IN THAT POSITION TO PRODUCE THE NEEDED INFORMATION OTHER THAN MY VERY SELF CONSIDERING MY POSITION IN THE COMPANY .

(ok, let me re-read this piece. I *do* wish you take your caps lock off! Basically you are telling me that there is $14.5 million sitting in your bank that you want to steal. Is this right? Then why are you emailing me??? Oh, I'm supposed to read on? ok.)

BASED ON THE REASONS THAT NOBODY HAS COME FOR THE CLAIMS OF THE DEPOSIT AS NEXT OF KIN, I SEEK FOR YOUR CO OPERATION TO USE YOUR NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DESEASED TO SEND THIS FUNDS OUT TO A FOREIGN OFFSHORE BANK A/C FOR MUTUAL SHARING BETWEEN ME AND YOU ONLY, AS I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH THE INFORMATION BECAUSE I HAVE REMOVED THE DEPOSIT FILE FROM THE SAFE .

(Deseased? Hang on, I thought he died in a plane crash, not an illness? DR/MRS KEMA CHIKWE, try investing in an email software that does automatic spell checks for you. I think you mean deCeased? I'm a shit speller too, but I *always* put a spell check on my business emails.)

BY THIS DOING, WHAT IS REQUIRED OF YOU IS TO SEND AN APPLICATION SEEKING CLAIMS OF THE DEPOSIT AS NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE MR SHIMONY. I WILL SEND YOU SPECIMEN OF APPLICATION AS SOON AS YOU CONFIRM YOUR READINESS TO ASSIST ME MOVE THE FUNDS OUT OF THE VAULT OF OUR BANK.

(No. I don't want any of your "specimens" in my post, thank you. Customs are very sensitive to "specimens" that come from Africa, and I don't want to be infected by whatever you are going to Fedex me.)

NOTE: THE BANKING RULES AND REGULATIONS IN THIS COUNTRY DOES NOT ALLOW SUCH DEPOSIT TO STAY MORE THAN THREE YEARS AS AN EXPERTRIATES A/C . IF THE DEPOSIT STAYS MORE THAN TWO YEARS THE FUNDS WILL BE SENT TO THE GOVERNMENT A/C AS UNCLAIMED DEPOSIT . IN VIEW OF THIS DEVELOPMENT, I BEG FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND FULL CO-OPERATION TO COME AND LAY CLAIMED TO THIS DEPOSIT AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR LEVY SHIMONY THERE IS NO RISK INVOLVE IN THIS BUSINESS AS YOU WILL BE EQUIPED WITH ALL VITAL INFORMATION OF THE DEPOSIT AND THE A/C.

(Fuck me! This DR/Mrs is really funny! "Lay Claimed"? "Equiped with all vital information"? DR/MRS KEMA CHIKWE, I didn't know that this bank account was a living entity! I *definitely* do not want any "specimens" from you. If interpol intercepts that parcel, I will be on their records as a terrorist trafficking biological weaponry!!! Oh, by the way if your client died in 1999, the 2-3 year period has already passed according to your banking laws, coz as far as I remember, we are in 2004 which is now *5 YEARS* since your client was *deseased*. Oh, BTW, I think you should look at your banking laws more carefully: is it 2 years or 3 years before your goverment takes the money away? I would, if I were you.)

YOUR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN DOES NOT MATTER, WHAT MATTERS IS YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN HAVING ALL NECCESSARY INFORMATION TO BACK UP YOUR CLAIMS . NOTE THAT ALL MODALITIES FOR A HITCH FREE TRANSACTIONHAS BEEN PERFECTED FROM MY SIDE .

(I'm sure you have, DR/MRS KEMA CHIKWE... What if I was Nigerian, just like yourself. Does that count?? Why are you spamming me!!)

I WILL SUPPLY YOU WITH ALL THE A/C PARTICULARS . I WILL NEED YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS COMPANY OR RESIDENTIAL SO THAT I CAN COMPUTERISE THEM TO TALLY WITH NEXT OF KIN COLLUM IN THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT. FINALLY I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE REQUEST FOR A FOREIGNER AS THE NEXT OF KIN IS OCCATIONED BY THE FACT THAT THE CUSTOMER WAS A FOREIGNER AND FOR THAT ONLY REASON, A LOCAL CANNOT REPRESENT AS NEXT OF KIN. I HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THIS MONEY WITH YOU IN THE MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING OF 30%/60% YOU KEEP 30 WHILE I KEEP 60, AND 10% FOR ANY EXPENSES ON BOTH SIDE , LIKE YOUR AIR TICKET AND HOTEL BILL. HOW ABOUT THAT ? YOU HAVE MERITED THIS PERCENTAGE BECAUSE YOU WILL PROVIDE THE A/C WHERE WE SHALL FINALLY TRANSFER THE FUNDS INTO ON A SUCCESSFUL CLAIMING OF THE DEPOSIT.

(Hang on, DR/MRS KEMA CHIKWE, what do you mean "I have agreed to share this money with you"? *I* haven't agreed to anything? What are you on?? Methamphetamines??? And why is it that you are taking 60%? Huh? You are making a business proposal, albeit a very dubious one, and you are telling me that I get to keep only 30%? You're the desperate one, not me, coz you're the one that can't steal the money from your bank by yourself? Right? I have the upper hand on you -- I have a foreign bank account, I am a foreign national, I have an address to send your "specimens", and I hold the key -- no I AM THE KEY to your $14.5million!! I want 75%. You get 15%, the rest are my expenses; you live in a country where the cost of living is much cheaper. You'll have more than enough. Otherwise no deal; you can give up that dream of living off the interest, concede, and give it to your corrupt government. Doesn't matter who gets the $14.5mill, which everway it's Mr. LEVY SHIMONY's hard earned money going to another currupt official!

MY 60% WILL REMAIN IN THE A/C PENDING MY ARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT AND SUBSEQUENT INVESTMENTS . LASTLY FOR THE IMMEDIATE TAKE OFF OF THIS TRANSACTION YOU HAVE TO CONFIRM YOUR WILLINGNESS AND READINESS TO ASSIST ME RETRIVE THIS DEPOSIT, THEN I WILL SEND TO YOU AN APPLICATION TEXT AND OTHER VITAL INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DEPOSIT . I ASSURE YOU OF 100% RISK FREE TRANSACTION .
TRUSTING TO HEAR FROM YOU .

GOD BLESS!

YOU CAN ALSO RELY THROUGH MY ATTORNEY AT :
info@nwaiwuchambers.zzn.com, nwaiwu_chambers@yahoo.com

YOURS RESPECTFULLY ,
DR, MRS KEMA CHIKWE
_________________________________________________________
http://www.latinmail.com/. Gratuito, latino y en espal.


(His attourny has a Yahoo Account! Wow! Maybe I can IM him!!.... Oh dear, DR/MRS KEMA CHIKWE is not only illiterate, cannot work the caps lock on the PC, is trying to steal money from the bank, is probably planning to steal mine from my account, get my address and "computerise" it, but is one of those "religous" types? DR/MRS KEMA CHIKWE, I suggest you go straight to your church this wednesday, go into your confession box, and tell the priest the sins that you committed this week: 1) I had serious thoughts of stealing money from a dead person 2) I sent out spam to a complete stranger 3) I lied. I lied -- big time. No one is actually dead, I just wanted access to a foreign account to launder that money I got from the surplus that we had from the Japanese Overseas Development Program thing. I know we said we were going to build 10 wells in the remote regions of Ogoni land... Well we did. Kind of... we built one well, then sold it to the local chief so now it's privately owned, and people have to "pay" for the water. The chief was happy to purchase it, because he has no other competition. He has the monopoly to water in Ogoni land....)

God bless indeed.... Riiiiiggghhhhht!

[Postscript: This post is dedicated to a fellow African that I have utmost respect for: Ken Sarowiwa who was executed in 1995. I remember feeling really sad that day, for he writes as he speaks -- from his heart. He fought for what he believed in. He wasn't going to line his pocket like Gen. Abacha and the likes of DR/MRS KEMA CHIKWE with blood money from the Fat Cats, like Shell, that ruin his people's land. I, too, am a proponent of cleaning up our environment, but unlike Ken, I do not have the courage to risk my own life to challenge an oppressive government for what I believe in.... I sometimes wish I did. I honestly do.... So today, I will ask all of you to read about Ken's life thru the link that I added. Research the plight of the Ogoni people, and I would like you to realise that not every African person is corrupt. There are good guyz like him. I want the world to see that Africa (altho has many problems) can be saved.

There is political scientist (who I cannot remember the name of) who said something like this (sorry for the poor research! :( please help me to find the quote and also the name of the political scientist):

Political agendas and finally the law of the land only come from strong private agendas.... Private agendas come from individual agendas that are shared by the masses who share the same view. Individual agendas can change the way a country is run.

*yes, an individual can change things, just like Ken did*

Africa is my second home that I have never been to. Just as I want Japan to be a proud member of the planet, I also want to be proud of Africa, for it is part of my roots. And thank's, Dad, for fighting for independence with President Nyerere in the 60's, and showing me your vision of Africa through your stories and photos. May you rest in peace.

Ken, may your soul also rest in peace, Bwana. We have not forgotten you. At least I haven't. ]

Singing In the Streets -- A Social Experiment

On thursday night while I was waiting for my old school friend, E (who I have known since I was 13) , to show up at our meeting point in Shibuya, there came a homeless man on a shitty, half broken bike, which had all his worldly possessions strapped to it by a piece of elastic, and sat next to me.

He probably suffers from one form of menal illness, or another, for as soon as he set his bike and sat down he started to talk to himself (OK, he also has an inner voice that is "out" -- and gets classified as a nutter, whereas Nutts is "in" so she does not get caught, and I'm not locked up or homeless).

The homeless guy was explaining to his inner voice in detail on how to avoid traffic while on a push bike, and everyone seemed to ignore him.

COOL! He's free to be himself!! I want to let Nutts out too and become invisible like him!! (one of these days...)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Friday was another warm sunny winter's day. I had my usual long "lunch breaks"; I remembered the mumbling old man and how Missy loves to sing. On my way back I was feeling jovial, and therefore a bit more brave than usual, so I decided to sing and be invisible for a little while just as the "outed" inner voice guy was invisible (apart from to me).

I sang Stings's "Englishman in New York", but I changed the lyrics so as to not violate coppyright laws:

I don't eat eat green tea icecream, no my dear,
I like my fish cooked thoroughly,
I'm ignored when I speak 'bout injustices,
I'm a Ramblin' Wench in Tokyo.

Oh, I'm invisible.
I'm really invisible,
I'm the Ramblin' Wench in Tokyo!!

La la la la la la...

I sang and skipped on my 10min journey back to my office. I even passed a police box, waved at the three cops (why are there 3 cops in a business district? They give out directions to lost people.... say no more), passed at least 30 people, but no one even saw me or looked my way, for once again I was invisible!!

Fan-fucking-tastic!

Sometimes, dear readers, it's fun to become invisible. La la la la...

Christmas: A Time of Good Will And.... Road Works?!

Yes it's that time of year when you start to send out Christmas cards to distant relatives that you have never set eyes on, make (or receive) a Christmas wish list, stock up on your cupboards/fridge of all those inflated "Christmasy" foods... You've placed an order for a 13 pound turkey at the butchers, and have just finished putting up the christmas tree with the delicate decorations... (make sure that all the lights are working, readers!)

Well I live in a part of the world where Christmas is another day. Yes we have our Christmas lights across town, yes lovers have their "special" dinner on Christmas eve exchanging their gifts, yes the commercial wave of "Christmas" has hit us like a giant Tsunami, but we are still a Buddhist/Shinto country, and the closest we get to a Christmas holiday is the public holiday on the 23rd of Dec., which is the current Emperor, Akihito's, birthday.

You see, Christmas for us in Japan means something completely different. It is a time when suddenly we have a dramatic increase in road works. The months leading up to Christmas usually celebrate a 4 to 5 fold increase in the number of redundant public works that have really no logical explanation for why it's happening.

I take the bus to work everyday; this has been my routine for the past 8 months. As of Nov. 11 there is now 5 road works along my bus route -- get this FIVE -- sites along a measly 20min route! The other day it took me 40 mins to complete a 20min journey! I got off at my terminal and asked the construction guys what they were up to, and why were they digging the road at the same time.

Routine Maintenance, Ma'm.

Huh? What do you mean routine maintenance? I've walked passed these streets and taken the bus for the pasth 8 months, and there was nothing wrong with it? Y R U digging it up and causing traffic congestion? My 20 min bus journey now takes 40mins?! Y R U digging it up NOW, not back in July for instance??

Routine Maintenance.

Oh, so you're telling me that ALL routine maintenance has be be done around Christmas/ end of year when business are closing stuff at work before people go on holiday. You do "routine maintenance" in the middle of fucking winter to build characters for your workers? Is that what you are telling me??? Y R U DIGGING THE ROAD UP IN 5 PLACES ALL AT ONCE????

Routine Maintenance.

I used to work for an engineering consulting company; I *know* the drills. I *know* why the number of road works increases at this time of the year...

The 4th quarter in terms of fiscal year is nearly over, and it's the annual budget revision time!

Yes, dear readers... in my country the local authorities are given a set budget at the beginning of the fiscal year and are told: OK you manage your public works: "we will give you this amount for the next year"... guess where the estimate for the following year's budget comes from?? What you spent the previous year, and the year before, and the year before... say no more.

In the private sector we have independent auditors (and bean counters) who will come in and scrutinise every penny spent and ask for "accountability" in every single area.... but the public sector? Well, in my country it's done thru "internal" auditors(i.e./ one of *them*) who will say after Q3 -- shit we have loads of money left over. We have to spend it before the big boss cuts our budget for next year!!! What can we do?

Routine Maintenance....

Today I walked passed a depression in the road that has been there for the past 3 years.(before I lived in HK!). The depression is no wider than 1ft in diameter. Someone has put a red marker surrounding this depression... Dear readers, you can anticipate what will happen next, right?

Another "Routine Maintenance"

It seems to me that the words Routine Maintenance has not become a pseudonym for "wasting-tax-payer's-money"

MY MONEY!!!!

The Teppan Nazi

Some of you may have met the "Soup Nazi" in episodes of Seinfeld. He's that angry, annoying proprietor of the "soup place", who dictates to his customers what they can do, and what they can't do. I personally have come across a few "soup noodle shop" Nazis who will tell you how to eat their soup noodles. I once had a Soup Noodle Nazi telling me that I had to first drink a bit of the soup on its own, then just eat the noodles on its own, then finally eat the noodle AND the soup carefully placed on the small ladle.

He was a very scary looking character (looked like a former heavy weight champion) keeping his eyes on me so I did exactly as I was told. I had seen him kick out a few customers earlier for not obeying him so I decided to keep a low profile so that I could eat my food in peace. There are probably over 3000 noodle shops in Tokyo, and I estimate that at least 20% are run as dictatorships.

The other day, however, I cam across a new breed of totalitarian eatery owner: The Teppan Nazi. I decided that day to treat myself to teppan yaki (style of cooking on a hot plate). I ordered a savory pancake called Okonomiyaki. I usually enjoy eating Okonomiyaki because you get the pancake mix, mix it up, and cook it on the hotplate all by your self (usually).

Simple. But nice.

One of the waitresses brought me my pancake mix containing finely chopped cabbage, bacon, onions, and cheese. (YUM, YUM!) As soon as I picked up my spoon to stir my pancake mix -- there he was. Out of no where appeared a man in a dirty apron shouting: "No, No, No!".

"You don't mix everything together at once! What the hell are you doing - here. I'll show you. First you take the bacon rashers, cook it on the hot plate, THEN you are supposed to put the mixture onto the plate. Make sure the temperature is juuuuuust right. Otherwise everything burns."

He took my pancake mix and proceeded to remove the bacon rashers, and mixed my pancake with a vigor of a patissier making a choux mix.

Wow, I guess I can leave it to his capable hands while I read my book in peace...

And suddenly, the Teppan Nazi revealed himself.

As he was mixing my pancake mix he turned his head to the other waiters and waitresses: "Oi, clean up that hot plate. What are you doing standing around? You. Go over there, those incompetent idiots are trying to flip that pancake, and it's not ready yet! God you people.... I PAY your wages, and You (turning to me). You're a woman and you can't even cook a pancake? What's wrong with the youth of today? Get rid of that book; watch how a *real* pancake is made. I don't want you reading while I am working on YOUR Okonomiyaki .

"Oi, didn't I tell you to clean that hot plate? And don't forget to wipe the tables -- before -- you get the customers to sit down.

"Oi! Flip that pancake! And don't press down once you flip it. Reduce the heat on the template and... are YOU paying attention to how I make YOUR pancake?"

I nodded.

(Fuck, he's a Teppan Nazi!)

He ranted on and on telling me how to tell the exact timing of when the pancake had to be flipped over, do not press down on the pancake once flipped over, coz otherwise you lose the fluffiness...

When he "deemed" that my pancake was ready, he put on all the condiments on it including mayonnaise (without asking me if I was allergic to eggs or not), and divided my pancake into 6 portions.

Eat this clockwise from the top right.

HUH??? Where did this idea/principle come from??? Eat clockwise? Start from the top right?? The heat is evenly distributed on the bloody hotplate, for fuck's sake!

He stood there, hands on his hips, watching me eat my pancake (Eat it while it's hot. Remember, clockwise!) as he shouted to his employees to clean this, flip that, sort the cash registry, etc.

Dear readers, I am going to be honest with you. I have eaten Okonomiyaki (pancakes) loads of times. I have lived in downtown Tokyo where there are loads of cheap, good Okonomiyaki places... but that was the WORST Okonomiyaki that I had ever eaten!! (it was undercooked AND it had mayonnaise on it!!)

How on earth can you fuck up a pancake up like that????

The funny thing is that the Teppan Nazi will never go out of business-- do you know why? He runs his dictatorship under... a franchise!!!

A Simple Thing Like a Smile

(Note from the DWR: This is a true story unlike my only fictional work on this blog, I Accidentally Discovered a Weapon of Mass Destruction.)

Today was a cold day. Many of my colleagues bought lunches and ate at their desks, but I grew up in Europe so I enjoy sitting down to have a proper meal at a restaurant for lunch. My full 1hr all to myself.

For myself.

I went to one of my favourite Italian restaurants in the area; it so happens to be in the building next to my office. The restaurant is famous for its authentic Italian pizza and it's large choice of pasta -- including portion size. They serve all sizes: Xtra large to Teeny-Weeny (which is more than enough for me!). The food is very popular amongst the patrons that I would often queue for nearly 10 mins even if I turned up at "odd" lunch hours like 1:15pm.

The restaurant fits about 60 seats, but even during lunch time I have never seen more than 5 waiters so you can imagine how busy they are when there is a full house. Some of the clientele grumble and complain at how "the food is great", but the "service sucks".

(Well, if you are sooooo into service, why don't you go to a more expensive restaurant where 2 people will be waiting on each of you!)

Today I sat next to (possibly) the most obnoxious, impatient customers that I have ever encountered. As soon as he was seated he looked at the menu, looked up to find the waiter that had led him to his table, only to find out that he had already gone to the kitchen to bring food for the other customers. My impatient neighbour began to huff, puff, mutter something about "poor service", and began to tap at the table, tap his feet, and shouted "S'cuse me? Hello, s'cuse meeee! Can I get some service around here?"

All the waiters were so busy carrying 2, 3, even 4 plates to the other customers, that all they could say was "Sir, we will be with you in a moment?" And they all said it with a smile. Not one of those "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order -- have a nice day" smiles. The waiters really genuinely smile at this restaurant.

As picoseconds passed I could see my impatient neighbour getting really pissed off.

For fuck's sake, I need to go back to my "important" job in 27mins. I need to pen-push and count beans, damn it! These fucking idiots: COME AND TAKE MY ORDER, DAMN IT! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM THE PEN-PUSHING, BEAN-COUNTER!! AND I MAKE MORE MONEY THAN YOU YOU. I'M IMPORTANT DAMN IT! *tap, tap, tap*

Eventually the waiter came, smiling, and brought him a glass of water: "May I take your order sir?"

Tomato based pasta with seasonal vegetables large size hot coffee after my meal.

(Oh, that's what I was going to order too!)

As soon as the waiter took his order I smiled, and asked if he could take mine too. I'm a regular there, and they usually see me writing, or reading, but I am always patient. I like to take time to eat, and I know they are busy so I don't give them grief. May I have the tomato based pasta with seasonal vegetables. Would you make that the Teeny Weeny size, please. And after my meal, may I have some peach tea. Thank you. He smiled back, nodded, and went on with his business.

Ten minutes later the first wave of diners had left so the motion in the restaurant was slowing down. One of the waiters came up to me and asked me if I wanted some more water. Why, thank you! He poured me some cool water from his jug, facing his back to the obnoxious customer, smiled, nodded, and left to serve the other customers.

My neighbour was ignored.

A few moments later my food arrived. This time a different waiter -- an man who looks in his mid-forties -- brought it to me: Here you go. Your Teeny-Weeny pasta is here; you know I always see you writing, do you work during your lunch breaks? No, I just write my stories that I publish on-line. I am a blogger, and I write in my observations/ideas book so that I can post them later. Wow, you write, do you. Well enjoy your meal. And with that he left my table.

I took a small glance at my obnoxious neighbour who was just staring at my meal. THOSE FUCKERS! THEY SERVED HER FIRST!

"S'cuse me! I ordered my meal before her, why is she getting her food before me, huh? I don't have time to sit around waiting for my food. Where is my pasta?"

The older waiter walked up to his table, and with a smile on his face said: "Sir, you ordered a large size plate. The pasta takes longer to boil. It will be here shortly." Oh I see... well bring it to me as soon as it's cooked.

As the waiter turned around, I saw his cheeky grin, and he winked at me! (HAHA! Good on you, you guyz. This idiot has been given you grief, let him suffer for his rudeness!!)

Everyone knows that pasta -- whether it's 100g, or it's 500g cooks at the same rate!! My obnoxious neighbour was so selfish, and so nasty to the waiters who were only trying to do their best that they probably sent his order to the kitchens later than mine. A lot later.

Eventually his pasta came. He slurped it (snorted it, almost!) sooooo quickly that he finished before me, gulped his coffee in one go, and stomped out of the restaurant. Later when the older waiter came to clear my plate, he smiled and said: "would you like some dessert? On the house?"

Today I got Tiramisu for free. All because of a simple thing like a smile.

(Post script: we do not have a tipping system in Japan. There is no financial incentive for the waiters to "improve" their service. They do it because they want customer satisfaction and loyalty. They smile because they like to see us smile back. Dear readers, I must admit I don't always take the time to smile at people, but believe me when you do it gives you a rewarding feeling. And sometimes even a free dessert!)

Why Do Prescription Drugs Cost So Much??

I am a management consultant. My area of focus is Product Innovation and Lifecycle Management for the Lifescience Industry. To be specific: The Pharmaceutical Industry.

And what’s the hell is that in Realspeak?

I help pharmaceutical companies make more money. I sell them my ideas, and my time.
(I told you that I was another face in a suit, right?)

Today I was doing my usual research on industry trends, blah, blah, blah, when I came across this document published by the Pharmaceuticals Research and Manufacturers of America (aka. The Pharma Freemasonry) about the the price of prescription drugs.

Yeah, why *do* prescription drugs cost so much?

Coz you, Pharma COs, are inefficient. You only think in the short term, you only look at your annual profit margins, and you don't really care about your customers.

If you already *know* that the probability of a product going to market is only 1/5000 and it takes you 12~15 years to launch these damned drugs, why dont' you improve your efficiency at getting those golden eggs on the “shelf” faster, cheaper, and with a long range vision? If you know that the biggest portion of drug costs is attributed to R&D expenditure, not material costs, Y DON'T U DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

You know that clinical trials take up the biggest chunk of your R&D expenditure and development time; why don't you use your web portals and other IT tools to provide information to potential trial subjects, like the rampant bunny, provide online preliminary screening, get them to sign up, and provide their information directly to the CROs and the medical institutions so the screening process is quicker and cheaper than what you are doing today? (Oh, but we do. We have subject recruitment on our website, DWR, have a look. We are verrry efficient…)

Yeah, and I'm the Queen of Timbuktu....

(Don't try and pull that wool over my eyes, Fat Cats, I *consult* you on how to cheat the system and make more money, remember?)

Yes, you have something that looks like “on-line” recruitment, but in reality when a person sends their details online what happens is that an automatic message goes to the potential subject telling them that their info is priority #1, someone in your R&D department checks their emails everyday, sorts out the info coming in from your “Portal” and sends the information to Marketing who will call up the CROs and the medical practitioners for an appointment to assess whether these people are “fit” to be gini-pigs…. I know your drill. You don’t have a backbone system to manage these things. The only pharma company that has a something that you can call a semi-integrated patient recruitment program that connects the doctors, the CROs, the Marketing Dept. and the R&D Dept. is Amgen that uses Siebel's eClinical!! (And even *they* could do with some efficiency enhancements…)

(I haven’t been doing Business Process Reengineering and IT assessments for you guyz for nothing you know. I *know* you, Fat Catz! I have my eyes firmly on you!)

And what about your ramp-up process – going from your garage “lab” size production of the wonder drug, to the full-scale, mass produced, chug-a-lot-of-crap, bulk manufacturing process? Huh? Does R&D talk to the chemical engineers to streamline the process and cut down on the time to “ramp up” a potential drug? No.

Why? You have a box that contains R&D information which is separate from the one that contains manufacturing information. Sorry, boyz & girlz, I’ve heard about "protection of intellectual property", but isn't this taking it too far? Hello? SHARE information?? Within the company???

Talking about sharing information, why is it that you want to keep your “new molecular” entities under wraps. (I am also going to extend this question to the cosmetics industry that come up with a new “colour” for your cheek that you test on rabbits and mice, to make sure that it's safe, but guess what? Your competitor has discovered the same compound and is testing it on animals too?) I know that you have a system called “in-licensing”, i.e. buying/sharing info with your competitors but you don't put it to good use.

So we end up killing double the number of rabbits when all the drug/cosmetics companies had to do is say: hey, do you want to exchanges notes on this one? Just like we exchanged notes during college to reduce the number of hours spent in lectures. (Two heads are better than one, right?)

Two heads, less dead rabbits.

And why is it that you seem to have soooo many drugs in the pipeline to treat ailments for illnesses that are only prevalant in rich countries? You are always developing drugs for stomach ulcers, erectile dysfunction, allergies, and asthma? Hell! You know what? I have asthma, and guess what? I wouldn't have asthma if you didn't chug out those nasty fumes from your manufacturing plants that generate mountains and mountains of VIAGRA!!!! Why is it that you never invest any of your “operating capital” into R&D for creating *CHEAP* drugs to treat AIDS, malaria, dengue fever, and bird flu? Drugs that are needed by the poor people on this planet?

Pfizer, Johnson&Johnson, Merk, and GlaxoSmithKline all made gross profit margins close to 30% last year. (yes, I may be a drunken wench but I know how to do a financial analysis.) Basically they make loads of money. Actually, a shit load of money. And guess what their block-busters are? Viagra, Procrit (which had to be taken off line in Dec. 2003 coz it’s crap), Zetia & Zocor, and Serotide: drugs to treat impotence, anaemia, high cholesterol levels, and bronchial asthma. All “Rich” people’s disease.... Say no more.

(Ok, DWR, get off your damned soap box, listen to me, it’s your inner voice, Nutts. First of all who do you think is PAYING for all your expensive facials, your diving holidays, your nice dinners, and your Yoga classes. Hmm? And who is going to pay for your Yoga retreat and spa holiday in Koh Samui in January? Hmmm? Yes, it’s the “Fat Cats” that you are *dissing* right now! That’s who! Now, apologise to the nice CEOs of Pfiezer, J&J, Merk, and GSK. And make sure you tell Gordon Sink that their share of the respiratory market in Japan is really huge (thanks to that market entry strategy that we did), and that you’d be happy to do another market entry analysis for a new product launch – just tell us what you want to sell, and we’ll show you how to do it AND make loads money. Can you do that?)

...

Dear readers of DWR. I would like to retract all the above statement. My sincere apologies. I seemed to have suffered temporary insanity caused by excessive consumption of Canadian beef (or was domestic, I do not know...) during my deluxe medical over the past two days. Pharmaceutical companies are really nice. They make medicine to heal people. They don’t pollute the atmosphere, and if you go to all their sites they have a portal devoted to social issues. If all pharmaceutical products are legalised, and manufactured by these wonderful, caring, environmentally friendly, vegan, crystal yielding companies I think the world would be a wonderful place. Please rally with me on behalf of all pharmaceutical companies. Thank you. DWR
(Postscript: And yes, I love Canadian people, my good friend N is Canadian. And she eats Canadian beef, just like me. Pls don’t take offence

Genetic Modification

Genetic Modification

I was researching for an idea that I wanted to post on revenue from illegal substances, when I came across this article. WOW!! The columbians are an advanced nation! They have genetic engineering techniques!!

I wonder how much the Japanese government spent on "Overseas Development" in the form of "technology transfer" last year.....

Hmmm. I wonder.

Welcome Dear Stranger, Friend, or Foe

Welcome dear stranger, friend, or foe,
You can see me, but I can't see you.
You can see my thoughts, my wishes,
My anger, my happiness, and my world.
You can see everything, but I can't see you.

Welcome dear stranger, friend, or foe,
Is this your first visit, or is it your last?
Feel free to wonder, and look into my mind,
It's a little bit cluttered, but don't mind me, coz
You can see everything, but I can’t see you.

Welcome dear stranger, friend, or foe,
Did you have a nice day, or was it quite shitty,
Did you smile at a stranger, and did you say I respect you,
I really can't tell from here, you see, coz
You can see everything, but I can't see you.

Welcome dear stranger, friend, or foe,
I wish I could know what makes you smile,
I'm sure you can guess from visiting my blog,
That I see irony, even humour, in things that make me mad, coz
You can see everything, but I can't see you.

Welcome dear stranger, friend, or foe.
You are always welcome to peek into my thoughts.
You are always welcome, just make yourself at home,
There's always a cup of tea here, with your name on it, do you see it?
You can see everything, but I can't see you.

Welcome dear stranger, friend, or foe,
I had a thought about you today, you know?
I thought who comes here, who is the person in front of the screen,
Reading my ramblings from near, and afar, you see,
For sometimes I see you, when you see me.

-- DWR

I Accidentally Discovered a Weapon of Mass Destruction...

My name is D.W.Rambler. And I am a researcher. I work in a dark laboratory in the basement of a large university. Most people think that I live a life of strict routine. I come to work at 8:56am, have lunch at 12:38pm, and leave sometime after them (6pm). They don't know what I am researching, but they do know that I am a researcher, and I'm not really into lecturing; I usually work alone, and I am always focusing on my PhD.

They have no idea what my thesis is about.

Actually I don't really have a routine. I occasionally come into Uni at 8:56am. That's the only time that they notice me; otherwise I spend my time at the laboratory for days and realise - Shit, I've been here for days, I need to go home and get clean clothes! Or I manage to remember to eat around the time that the canteen is about to close around 12:45pm. Otherwise I am invisible. Even my mentor, my professor, has forgotten my existence. The only reason why I am still here is that I have funding from my uncle's inheritance that the Dean is happy to receive and keep me on.

I am searching the Holy Grail. And I think I have found it.

My interest in the Holy Grail started not from the Monty Python film (altho' I love the sketch with the black knight in that movie), but my father's quest to seek the Grail, for he believed that it existed and was the key to understanding life, and the universe. (My father was an archeologist and an anthropologist at Pembroke College, Cambridge). As a child I would listen to his tales about the wonders of the Grail, how it had traveled from what we know today as Jordan to Egypt, to Turkey, and was now in modern day Libya. I have traveled to all these places with my uncle's money to follow in my father's footsteps. But I still could not find the Grail....

Until I decided to take a break, and took a skiing/writing/retreat holiday in Innsbruck last month.

I have friends who work for the University there, Marcus and Garvy. They are anthropologists and geologists writing a thesis on the separation of Neanderthals and Cro-Magnon in the earlier parts of our evolution; they asked me over to look at a sample of soil layers that had some organic (possibly wooden) materials found in the glacier that they bore from a piece of Tundra in western Estonia. I was happy to take a sample back with me to London to run some tests on the piece of organic material. After all Marcus and his team had helped me out on many occasions. And they knew that I was looking for the Grail, which according to legend is made from organic material.

Once back in my basement laboratory I ran all kinds of tests: mass spectrometry, PCRs, physico-chemical analysis... I was even able to reproduce the organic material and test it's effects on laboratory mice, and today I have analysed all the the results only to reveleal something disturbing.

The material that I discovered, which I shall call K, is more powerful than nuclear power. K has a unique property: when mixed with water and administered to dead animals, they gain life. However, when mixed with oil, and administered to live animals, it kills them instantly. This property of K also works with monocellular organisms. It can even replicate "inanimate" objects, such as viruses, only to eradicate them when applying the oil-based solution. In short, K can create and destroy.

I have found Brama and Shiva -- the gods of creation and of destruction.

Dear readers, I am at a loss right now... what do I do with my discovery? This knowledge that I hold in my hands today can be used to bring loved ones back to life, and at the same time it can kill terrorists, our enemies at times of war.... What if I publish my findings? The military will surely take all my papers, and create more K, hide the secret formula so that our enemies cannot manufacture it. But yet, if I don't publish my findings I won't be able to save lives, eradicate disease such as HIV, Ebola, and many more. I can save innocent lives. Rid cancer, bring smiles to people's faces, for no one needs to die anymore... Water-based K solution is the elixir of life... and yet, its shadow, Oil-based K, has the power to destroy many more.

Marcus and Garvey know that I have the sample from the Tundra. Sooner or later they are going to ask me what it was. I can lie to them and say it was only a piece of wood, or a piece of bone from an ancient mammoth. I can lie for now, but for how long can this last? I can take my secret to my grave with me, but, sooner or later, someone may discover the properties of K.

K is powerful. It has the power to create and to destroy....

I want to believe that there is a God. I want to believe that humans are righteous, and that they will use K to save lives. To do good. I want to believe that even after I am gone K will be used in the way that God intended for us to use it... I want to believe.

Today, dear readers, I am going to publish my findings on K, because I believe that humans are good. I want to save lives, not to destroy. In the beginning all I wanted to do was to seek the truth; to find out if there really was a Holy Grail. I am a researcher, I want to find out about things. I am not God, and yet today I have to make that fateful decision....

(Postscript: today's post is dedicated to one of the people I would like to meet in heaven: Albert Einstein. In 1939 Albert wrote a letter to President Roosevelt, ending his life-long pacifism, asking him to begin a nuclear weapons program. Albert heard that the Germans had split the atom, and knew that the next step would be for them to develop an atom bomb. Albert, a German-born theoretical scientist, was Jewish; a brilliant mind of our time, but nonetheless very unwelcome in his home country at the time. Albert later regretted writing the letter to Roosevelt when he heard of the massive destruction after two atom bombs were dropped on Japan (Hiroshima and Nagasaki). He said: "I could burn my fingers that I wrote that letter to President Roosevelt." Albert was burdened by his actions till the day that he died. All Albert wanted to do was to seek answers to the universe, not destroy lives. He was a peace loving dreamer who was in touch with his inner child...

"God does not play dice with the universe." -- Albert Einstein.

Albert, we thank you for your inspiration. And no one blames you for speaking up, and seeking the truth. DW.R.)