Strange Crimes... Strange Products

I had a good laugh when I came across this site where inmates place an ad to find a penpal/onanistic toy. It's not the ads, nor is it the concept of people who are locked behind bars for the next decade or so looking for snail-mail lovers that did the trick. It's reading their faux pas that did it for me.

When you read crime descriptions (handed down to the inmates by the courts) like "theft by unlawful taking over $300", or "delivery of cocaine with a deadly weapon" it makes you wonder WHO THE FUCK comes up with sillyness like this! So if I stole $299.99 is it classified as lawful theft? If I delivered cocaine with my bicycle it's kosher? I thought that stealing anything is a crime, and in most places transporting coke without a legit license is certainly something that the DA would not approve of. For fuck's sake, it's not exactly delivering for Pizza Hut now, is it? ("Oh, but officer, I was only doing a summer job for a Crack House; I was working only for tips" is obviously not an excuse.) Just call it what it is: Theft; Drug Trafficking.

None of these irrelevant frills like "unlawful" or "deadly weapons". please! When was a crime "lawful", and when did weapons not have the potential to harm others? Even junked up copy-writers working in the orient do not come up with this crap.

Check out the "homosausage" sold in Japan! Honestly, this is not a bad joke -- homosausages are a well known brand of "fish" sausages. (Where do they find these copywriters!)

I also found some mucos pills... is there no end to this? (Oh well, they keep me amused on rainy days.)

New Found Freedom

I am trying to be a bit more difficult with the guy I am seeing these days. After only 2months of dating, I fucked off to Indonesia for 10weeks. I came back, and now I am expecting him to put more of his heart on the line (even though I have explicitly stated that I will be moving out of Japan soon... whenever that may be.) I told him that I would do the same too; I'm like that.

I will ask him out to the cinema tomorrow. If he refuses, I think I will throw a bit of a sulk. In the past I tried hard to not be a difficult person, but my new found freedom from excessive drinking habits makes it OK for me to act this way. Why? Go and ask the "12 Step Programers", they seem to herald and praise crazy actions and decisions -- so long as you are sober!

Sobriety rules!

(Keep coming back, DWR. Keep coming back...)

Honesty Hat: I have no idea why I wish to be difficult around this person. Maybe I

Ask No Questions, Tell No Lies...

What is it like to be emotionally "unstable" by most people's standards? What is it like to be a recovering alcoholic/junkie/bulimic? Hmm... Good question. I don't know any different, so it's hard to explain.

I found an interesting site dedicated to deception in relationships. Reading

I guess now you know what it's like to be me...

Heart's Desire

Do you have a dream? Have you ever wondered if you are in the right job, the right apartment, the right country? I have. All the time.

Instead of living my life in a dream I decided to do something about it. I have always wanted to retire early to persue a life as a professional diver in the recreational diving industry. I do not belong in an office; at the end of this month I will be flying to Flores, Indonesia to follow my dreams. I know that it sounds a bit mad to quit one's job to go diving for 3 months... but it's something that I have to do.

It's my heart's desire.

Afternoon Tea With "M"

"M" is an idealist, just like me. I first met "M" back in early January this year. He had just come back from his pilgrimage to the middle east over the winter holidays: "Christmas in Kabul" was the theme of his travel last year. M is one of those who value collecting experiences in life versus the accumulation of material wealth, false prestige, and superficial acquaintances. And I admire his lifestyle choices, which is one of the reasons that I enjoy his company even though he can be very intense, cynical, sarcastic, and dry. Underneath his intensity, he does, however, have a good sense of humour.

He's just serious by nature.

M knows that my brother is behind bars, and his take on this situation for me was:"Would you quit trying to run your brother's life?".

His statement was probably the most sensible, honest advice that I got over my brother's fiasco.

In the end my brother got off with a 3 year suspended sentence. It didn't stop him from drinking and driving that evening. Once again he was lucky to get off scott-free, but I think that it is probably only a matter of time before something else comes up with him... namely tax evasion. Today I have other things to worry about in my life: me.

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Today I no longer have my afternoon tea sessions with M, for he has left the country to pursue his dream of starting his own internet business in the western orient. I still get emails from him frequently... always with sound advice on many things.

I miss my afternoon mini-lectures/discussions with M...

Busted!!

No, not me. I'm still here. It's my younger brother, BK, who got busted for possession of 34g (just over 1 ounce) of marijuana, and 5 plants, three of which were post harvest. The legal system in this country is draconian to say the least. My brother was arrested on March 2nd, when the police came to his home with a search warrant, and he has been in solitary confinement with no access to the outside world apart from his lawyer who can talk to him only through a perspex wall.

And ofcourse his conversations with his legal council are monitored by the po-leeese.

If you are caught growing pot in this country, the pigs try to automatically add a bonus to your possession charges called "with intent to supply" and the judge has deferred his access to us twice. I remember doing some research ages ago on how the police handle detainees -- i.e. people who have not officially been charged with a criminal offence. It ain't pretty...

Although my brother's arrest was on March 2nd, and legally he cannot be detained without access to family for more than 22days, the legal system conveniently discounts weekends as a "day". His lawyer told me that the earliest that we could possibly see him will be at his bail hearing on either March 28th or 29th. If he's granted bail it will be somewhere in the order of 1.5million yen (US$13K) to 3million max (US$26K). That's IF the judge decides that he can go between now and his court cases...

To top it all, we all have to hide this from his company, his girlfriend ends up in hospital with inflamed kidneys from the stress, the wench mum has turned into a zombie, his assistant is rushing around left, right, and centre to keep the lid on things....

I don't need this in my "early" sobriety.

I will be 5 months sober tomorrow. And I guess that my brother, when he gets out, will be joining me at my NA meetings too....

I'm too fucking tired of sobriety. When will it END!!! (I need to get away from this crazy shit for a permanent holiday the sun.)

Inventory Management and Drugeconomics

Yes, once again I am pissed off. This time I am pissed off at the convinience store "consumer business" industry.

There is a brand of energy bar/cereal bar that I found at AM-PMs that I really like; it's got rice crispies, dried fruit, and covered in excuisite white chocolate. There is also my local Family Mart that sold boxes and boxes of Granola Bars which is also something that I like to eat. In fact on most days all I eat are the white chocolate energy bars and granola bars. (yes, I have a very strange diet). Before I went to Oz I could find my food stash by the dozens at these convinience stores with NO trouble, and I would often go out and buy my nutrients in large batches "just in case" I ran out -- a sensible move, considering what has happened to the drastic shift in availability since my return from Australia.

These FECKERS DONT HAVE *MY FOOD* ON STOCK!!!!! I have gone to the local family mart for the past 6 days and not one single box of Granola bars was on the shelf at any time of the day! Instead, some dip-shit decided to order 8 boxes of Branflakes instead (can you believe it?). Branflakes. And those 8 boxes have not moved since Wednesday when I first went back in there to stock up on my granola bars. Why do I know they have not shifted? I noticed that the box on top was slightly damaged, and that damaged box has been there - right on top of the pile - all this time.

I don't need a degree in economics, or business administration, to work out that if I am selling a lot of one thing, I should order some more of the same shit before it runs out. I do not suddenly decide to order Butt-pluggers like "branflakes", in large volume, that shift about as slowly as they do in the human digestive system. Whose the procurement planner for my local family mart? I want to sit them down and give them a pep talk about slow moving and obsolete inventory (SLOB) versus fast moving, high turnover stock that brings in the cash -- FAST -- and reduces your liability (i.e. shit sitting around that doesn't sell). Even junked up crack dealers who consume over half their "stock" know not to go out and score a litre of Methadone to push onto their "customers". Most of them are going to move their "loyalties" as fast as I can say "Smack, Crack, and Pot" and get their precious rocks from somewhere else.

And as for the AM-PM that no longer stocks my favourite cereal bar... I know your marketing strategy. I know that you buy new stuff to see if it sells, and if it does, you just cut the supply, create a drought, and bring it back on the shelves when the demand is soooo high that if you hitch up the prices by a small-ish margin you expect us, the consumers, to not notice. Yeah, and we are so into your commodity that we will pay any price to get it. And you know it too... Sneaky buggers! You're like the drug barron, or "governments" who have a lot of support from the agricultural industry, who just holds onto the commodity so that the market is dry for a while, claiming some BS, like "oh we have had poor supply this year from the producers" as you create mountains and mountains of the goodies in some out of the way warehouse, and suddenly flood the market with your stash that now costs 20% more. And yes, we are sooooo stupid enough to buy your crap at hiked up prices because we NEED IT by the time you make it available to us.

Convinience Store Managers my arse!!! You are just ex-drug dealers who are now working in a "legit' biz" because you either got busted and sentenced to X hours community service working in the local convinience store, or you were so junked up that you couldn't multi-task your habit and the illicit drug-trading industry, and are only academically qualified to work as the manager of a franchise convinience store!! Whichever way, you all piss me off!!

Why am I pissed off? It's coz I can't get my stash of cereal bars/granola bars anymore!! Get it straight, boys and girls! Jeez, no wonder I have a college degree and a normal job. But if I ever get fired, I know can always fall back and use my BS. in Drugeconomics (with Hon.) from the University of Skid Roof, London.

Blast From The Past

I was looking back at my new year's resolution from 2005 only to realise that I kept 10 out of the 19 promises that I made to myself. WOW! That's over 50%!!!

Sweeeeeeet!

Now I could be a sweet person and let you know which ones I kept, but I will just be me and leave it to your imagination as to what I did and didn't manage to do last year.

Ok, it's a bit too late for a "New Years Resolution" but might as well make them, just so that I can break them, I guess...

1. Bitch less. Yes, I *am* aware that I complain a lot, but when I am pissed off I always feel that I have a justification, which is probably not a good sign.
2. Spend less. It sounds strange coming from someone who hates shopping, but I did buy that really expensive persian rug last year...
3. Work harder(?). Umm... yes, I do slack off at times. I just don't mention it here.
4. Stay away from trouble. (Not that I got into trouble last year, or the year before, and the year before that, I guess.)
5. Call the Wenchmum at least once a week. And I promise not to make a reverse charge call to her.
6. Take less benzodiazepines. I shouldn't really be tripping on diazepam at the office when things are slow, right?
7. Eat more healthily. Sustaining on bread, soup, cereal bars, and fruit juices is probably not too good for my skin.
8. Exersise as much as I did the year before last. I haven't done any excersise since Oct. 2005, which is probably not good for my metabolism.
9. Sort out my library. (That's just given you a hint about what I didn't do last year.)
10. Write more. I guess I didn't write much last year on this blog, huh? I've got far too many blogs going all over the place at various sites; I'm so scattered and inconsistent that I really need to just focus on a few things and stick to it, I guess. So I will probably pull the plug on a few over the course of a few days, weeks, or months.

So I guess that's it. We'll see how many I can keep this year -- if I can do 6, that's an improvement from last year, and I think I will be happy with that. See! I'm not bitching already! But there again, I have to wait till Dec. 31st before I can say that I bitched less this year, I s'pose...

Back Before You Knew I Was Gone

I just came back from the Australia, where I attended a 1/2 day conference in the Gold Coast, and 2 day meeting with my colleagues in Sydney. It was just so refreshing to be in the southern hemisphere basking in the sun on most days, only to come back to the shitty weather in Tokyo...

Yeah, why is it that I live in this cold weather?

I should be genetically acclimatised to warm/hot, high altitude, equatoral environments with two seasons -- dry and wet, but where have I lived? Cold, miserable lowlands with 4, or 5 seasons, all of which are relatively cold. Now how does that work out? Why are most "industrialised" places located in areas predisposed to shitty weatherfronts? Whose stupid idea was it to build a city of over 12 million people in a place that has 6 seasons (winter, spring, typhoon 1, summer, typhoon 2, autumn) and sits on a junction of 3 tectonic plates? (yes, we have a minor earthquake every month)

Ok, today I am pissed off because I had to go through Syndey airport and buy a bottle of wine for my friends and my brother, but none for me. I had to just walk past the gallons and gallons of beautiful booze that oooooozed yumminess, and a good drunken night with my DWFs, and just "Let Go, and Let God"... (?!)I mean, I just sat in a warm, dry, easygoing fun place like the Gold Coast, even though it was for work, only to return to a cold miserable high risk city via a rack of duty free booze???

Not fair...

(If there *is* a god, and it's reading this blog, would you please just remove the alocoholic, junkie gene from me so that I can just carry on with my life like a NORMAL person??? Thx. DWR)

Dedication To Isis, The Godess of Love

(I wrote this poem for a wonderful friend back in March last year, and I never got the chance to share it with him. Today I wanted to share it with you after I revisited it. I'm not a poet, but I thought I wanted to share with you the way I feel about the eternal subject of love... I hope you like it. DWR)


"Only Without Darkness Can We See Light"

Only without sight can we hear the lark sing at dawn,
or the watch the cuckoo find a friendly host for rearing its offspring,
or understand two swans, soulmates, dancing by the lake to show their eternal love,
Their love that extended beyond Venus' gaze during the cool summers.

Only without warmth can we appreciate the long lazy afternoons
spent lazily in the parks feeding our lovers sweet stawberries,
and drinking spicy champaigne as we watch small children bath in the cool pools.
Their parents watching over with love that cannot be unbridled.

Only without enlightenment can we appreciate that time is abstract.
Time with names like "O'clock" "Seconds" or "Days" bear no relevance, for the sun is shining and providing humanity with all the energy for suvival,
For you, for me, and for all our progeny.

Only without pain can we apprecate the feeling of release;
Pain in our heart, pain in our bowels, but wherever the pain,
Without experiencing such at least once in one's live,
We will live a life of regret and sorrow, for
Only without darkness can we see light.

Close your eyes and reminesce of the days that you were torn, tears streaming from your eyes. That green boulder of jealousy and anger growing each and every day inside of you that which you cannot control.
But remember also that without darkness there will be no light;
and without light, there will be no shadow to remind you of the pain.
Only when we heal from our wounds that we can look back,
Smile, and remember that only without darkness, can we see light.

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I didn't write this in a depressive state; I wrote it when I was starting to feel optimistic and came to realise that waking up every morning, looking up at the ceiling I no longer prayed to God, or the universal energy in my case, why they had not grantd my wishes, and let me die in peace.

Today, I wake up, open my eyes and check that I'm still alive, because I no longer have a death wish. I want to live - shitty life or not, but the point is that I want to live, because I know what lurks in the darkness.

I want to thank my dear friend, O, for inspiring me to write this poem in the first place. Tnank you dear friend, for giving me hope.

Wassgoinon???

Yeah, what IS going on in my life? I just realised that I haven't really written anything this year! Shit, there has to be something I can bitch or rant on about; life can't possibly be peaceful and "happy, happy, joy, joy" all day long?!?

'Course it's not. Today I am pulling a sickie, and the BS that I gave my boss today is that I have "deblitating period pains". It's true that I have the "painters in" but is it keeping me in bed? Nah, I am happily going up and down the stairs to feed the cats, get myself coffee, go to the loo, etc.

It's just that I can't be arsed to go into the office when it's raining and dreary outside. I can sit here quite happily working from home and spending a few moments to just sit here and blog about everything and nothing.

Every time its dark and dreary outside and my motivation has gone down the rubbish shoot faster than a bag of stash in a drug raid, I always remember the Carpenters song: "rainy days and mondays always gets me down". Yeah, shit, Karen, you got it straight darling! Rainy days and mondays gets me down too, and isn't it ironic that both of us have problems with eating.

Yeah, and you feel really, really down when you flush your stash down the toilet, or throw it down the rubbish shoot thinking that you are busted for possession only to realise that the violent banging on your door accompanied by "POLICE, OPEN UP!" were just your drugged up friends pulling a prank on you coz they've taken so much speed that they've been up for the past 52hours, and they have nothing better to do.

And today it's not the speed freaks and their silly pranks that get me down... it's rainy days and mondays. I guess I've moved upwards (somehow) in life, huh?

Warped Valentines...

Yup, today's that day when MEN give gifts to WOMEN as a way of expressing their feelings of love and affection. Usually they are flowers or chocolate; sometimes it's a bit more but in general it's the boys who shower their girlfriends with gifts and all is lovey-dovey, full of hearts, full of kisses, and well... all is rosey, even though it's so commercial these days that the clued up people get pissed off with "Hallmark" ads that bombard our airwaves as soon as the Christmas/New Years' fever is over.

Well, gentlemen of the West, and anywhere on this planet where my previous discription is the "norm" I am going to reveal to you what "equal rights" and "feminist movements" perversly misinterpreted by the commerecial sector, and by stubborn, sexist men have manifested in my country: "Balenta'in Day (Valentine Day)" and "Howaito Day (White Day)".

So what happens on Balenta'in Day in Japan? Women give out chocolate to men. And there are two types of "gifts": "Honmei" chocolate, and "Giri-choco". Women give out Honmei chocolate to their boyfriends, husbands, and basically men that they have a romantic interest in, and the Giri-choco is handed out to any bloke that you know -- usually it's given out to your colleagues, casual friends, school mates, etc. It sounds crazy when considering that among the developed nations the average income of a woman is only 55% that of men according to the World Bank's World Development Report (2003, I think, but let me confirm...) So basically we earn less than men and have to hand out chocolate to the male population like the World Food Program hands out rice and grains to developing countries. And just like these "International Funding" organisations, (and life in general, I guess) nothing is given out for free - especially the "Giri-choco". The word "Giri", literally translated to "duty of gratitude" implies that there are strings attached to the Godiva truffles that are handed to you.

And that's where "Howaito Day" comes into play.

"Howaito Day" (white day) is on March 14th, and this is the day when the men who received the chocolate bonbons give the low income earners (that's women to you) chocolates in return. And in general we receive white chocolate just to go with the name of the "honourable payback day". How fucked is that?! I knew that we lived in a hyper consumerist society, but using a saint's day to sell chocolate, flowers, and cards AND creating another non-existing saint's day to sell even MORE commodities!!!

(I wonder if the Vatican gets kick-backs from Hallmark, Godiva, and all the rose growers' association/lobby group?)

And if anyone's wondering? NO! I didn't give out a single thing today (apart from my piece of mind on the matter of cheesy, phoney meanlingless customs), because unlike last year, this year I don't have anyone to give a proper valentine's gift: the one with no strings attached.

(again...)