It happened on Day 20 of my "sobriety". I was still in the process of moving houses; I had my sofa, my coffee table, my comfy bed, my fridge, my kitchen utensils... basically all items that you find in a normal home with a "permanent" resident.
Except the TV, the Stereo, and the cats.
Yes, I had to spend 2 whole nerve-wrecking days in my house, alone, with no sound but my inner voice telling me that if I didn't *do* something about this situation, I am going to walk straight over to the nearest convenience store to buy some hooch and order 3 large pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese. They tell you in self-help groups to call someone -- ANYONE -- when I have these cravings, and indeed I *did* call someone... the really slow dude who took my order at Domino's Pizza.
"Umm... did you say you wanted 3 large pizzas, umm... we have a special, I think, ummm, like, ummm, if you order 1 large pizza you get one free, do you want to take that, and order 2 so you get four pizzas, or do you want to order separately, and not, ummm, like go for the special. Umm, we also have a special if you order 2 medium pizzas, you get one drink for free, umm, we have, ummm, coke, diet coke, umm, sprite, and fanta... ummm..."
"UMMM... why don't you just calculate the cheapest way that I can, UMMM, purchase 3 large pizzas? I don't need a salad, and I don't need any more soft drinks, OK?"
"Umm.. hang on..."
(Fuck, what's this dude been smoking/drinking/snorting? He sounds more fucked up than I am right now! And I'M SOBER!")
"Ok, how about calculating the price of two large pizzas and delivering me three. Remember? Buy one, get one free?"
"Oh, sure, that'll work. Umm... That will be...."
(Imbecile!)
I knew that it was going to take at least 29mins before my pizza arrived so I dashed over to the nearest Seven Eleven and stood for a moment in front of the Pearly Gates of Alcoholic Heaven: The Booze Wall.
Ahhh....
Starting from the left hand side of the refrigeration unit was the "Less than 7% Alcohol in Volume" drinks which I don't really pay much attention to coz I always found it an inefficient way of getting drunk. Start on 14% plus, and work your way upwards; hard, fast, and no messing about (shit, sounds almost like my approach to dating in Tokyo!). But something guided my eyes towards the lower end of the booze spectrum, and my attention was fixed on a bottle of sweet apple cidre that contained 4% alcohol in volume.
Yup. That's what I will have coz I'm not really relapsing, right? Sure, there's some alcohol in it, but I bet I breathe in more ethanol vapour when I take the Chunder Trains late at night where nearly 80% of those sharing the carriage have been drinking heavily. If I stick to this all night, I will be fine, I won't get drunk, just one or two drinks while I polish the pizzas...
And that's what happened on saturday night. I sat there and drank nearly 10 bottles of this "light-weight" stuff that kept me awake till 4am. By 1am boredom once again took over so I decided to do a bit of DIY and put together my new bed frame, table, shelves, AV counter, and funky lighting. I'm not sure how the neighbours would have taken the power drill going off at unholy hours on a weekend, but I really didn't give a shit, coz I live in a semi-detached house. I have only one neighbour, and she is going to be moving out by the end of this month; plus she looked as is she needed a bit of "drilling" and some "power tool action" herself (not that I'm getting much action either, but at least I have a sleek Black & Decker), but really, nothing was going to take away my moment of happiness that I got thru my "light booze" and my house in semi-order.
Well, actually, there was one thing that took away all of that: the hangover the following day.
(I can't believe that 4% alcohol in volume can induce a fucking HANGOVER! What's going on?! I'm a bloody lightweight!!)
And now... today, I am into Day 2 of my re-attempt at sobriety.
4 comments:
Good Luck DWR, life sounds just weird for you as of late. People out here in the rest of the world are following your struggles when they happen....ain't close enough to lend a hand, so I'll type a kind word instead!
Good Luck in this next round of life...
You did good! 20 days is a long ass time!
Hey there. You know, I don't think it was the 4% that did it, it's the fact that it was a cider-type drink. That stuff is usually very sugary and so it seems like any heavy, dark or sugary alcohol runs loose in your system, there's bound to be a hangover at the end of it all.
That's why with highly filtered Vodka you shouldn't get any hangover at all theoretically.
Anyway, that sounds like a pretty good Saturday night to me. But then again, I am a total introvert so that sort of thing appeals to me. Take care!
Thanks everyone for your kind words -- and yes, I should have opted for a "cleaner" drink, but fuck it, if you have been on the wagon for 20 days, you just stop making any sense at all.
But, in saying that, I do see some sense occationally. Sober, drunk, or just plain flat.
As for my "recovery"? Slow, but WTF, hey? Today I am not that negative -- must be those happy pills working again. Those tempramental buggers!
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