Sunday, September 11, 2005

Psycho Bitch: The Sting

Ok, back from my bout of depression and self pity; sorry bout that.

So let's get back to Satomi Tiger. Satomi Tiger was the reason why I ended up crying and cutting my hair. She was the one who set me off on a "oh I need to start dating again" mode, and she was the reason why I ended up signing myself up for something as sad and rediculous as Speed Dating.

Yes, that's her. That's the one.

Anyway, after A did his naughty deeds (i.e. fucked her sensless -- I hope he did her up the rear entrance!) and dumped Satomi T. he started to get strange emails and phonecalls (you know the crazy calls you get from "breathers" or "hang-up-as-soon-as-they-pick-up'ers" at 2am?) The calls and emails have now escalated and expanded to it's new target: DWFs!!(yes, that is us...)

We recieved as strange email from an unknown Pop-mail account from a mysterious, "A" asking us if we are seeing him?!? Now A is my friend, but I would not *want* to jump into bed with him -- if I did, I think I would have done it a long time ago. Right? But it's got to a point where we know that the only suspect for these mysterious calls/emails can only be one person: Satomi Tiger. There is only one person who is a suspect in this case -- we don't know too many people who know all three of us, DWFs, and yet is insecure about the "status" of our friendship.

So I decided to play "cat and mouse" with the naughty little "purty tat"... It's all quite simple, actually: I also created a phantom Pop-mail account, and sent her emails pretending to be my friend, Y. And I know that you may think that this is just simply not going to work: for the record, the Psycho Bitch has responded and is now asking me loads of questions about my "relationship" with A. How daft can this woman be??? And to top it all, when I mentioned that A has a girlfriend of nearly 2 years (also a fabrication), the response was that they were going to switch to a new account so that we can continue our "chats".

And she has not written back since.

I'm sorry, but if you are going to turn into a jealous, insecure person, at least do it in style, like I do! I would go for the full hog, do an attempted suicide, take loads of booze and drugs -- even send some in the post to them -- and I will definately NOT hang up the phone when my ex's friends pick it up at 3am. I would talk about the medication that keeps me sane (ok, there is some truth in this one) and that if I didn't take them, there are voices telling me that I saw a baby being born out of a beer bottle, and that my Higher Power has told me to "waste my time making your life miserable..."

The woman is a whimp; but I am in someways glad that she came to her semi-senses.

(I never knew how many people needed medication on a daily basis to function normally. Satomi Tiger and her actions make me feel NORMAL!!!")

2 comments:

or3con said...

Maybe you should turn on word verification for comments to get rid of spam? Just a suggestion.

Anonymous said...

Figures. Spam creeps in here, too.