One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. And one man’s hag is another man’s whore.
“I’m kicking you out. You need to take all your stuff out of this house by the end of this month and move permanently to the holiday home with your dog. I don’t want you here if you’re going to be with another man.” was what I received on iMessage. Fifteen years’ of marriage and he still doesn’t have the decency or the courage to look me in the eye and say these things.
What followed next was a list of “conditions for separation”. 30+ things he was dictating, including “alimony” for something he casually agreed to: an open marriage. None of the things he listed out included anything to do with custody arrangements for our son. Just assets, financials, and administration.
What was I smoking fifteen years ago when I said, “I do.”?
Now I’m completely sober. Healthy. And I knew that I needed to finish what I started, which is to legally separate myself from my earlier mistake. No amount of couples therapy or reconciliation date nights was going to fix this marriage when one of us saw no problems with it. Perfectly happy was his marriage before I wrecked it with a third party.
That’s not my reality; not my experience.
I drafted and rewrote the conditions for separation into offer of divorce conditions. For some reason he thought that a counter offer of couples counseling would bring me back.
No. I’ve asked you twice too many times in 15 years. You never came to therapy; you never wanted to work it out with me. Too late. I don’t bluff like you… I moved on years ago since my last request to work on our relationship. I haven’t spent a weekend doing activities with you since. I don’t eat with you. I don’t holiday with you. I spend half my week in a different house from you. I just share some of our living space and pay the mortgage.
I have my own life, and so do you.
And now, it’s time for me to interview divorce lawyers. Something I should have done years ago.
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