Today I am moving into my new house -- yes I am no longer going to have to put up with the Wench Mum's inedible food, her crazy outbursts, and her whining at me about my "strange" behaviour patterns. I'm not quite sure what she means by strange considering that she talks to the TV, lies in bed shaking her arms and legs in the air, and continuously has a monologue about germs and house dust when she vacuums the house only once a week (and that's a good week).
Oh, I digress. Yes, I am moving into my now 2 bedroom house in a green suburb only 30mins commute from my office. I had my plans all set from about 5wks ago when I started to look for houses to rent; when I came across my house, I just instantly fell in love with the high ceilings, and the amount of natural light coming into all the rooms, the wooden deck where one can hold a BBQ, and most of all the large tree in the communal courtyard. Oh, and the walk-in-wardrobe.
I love the place! And my movers are coming to bring my furniture this morning at 9:30am... only that there are some local government FECKERS digging up the road on a sunday morning JUST OUTSIDE MY HOUSE!!! WTF!!!! Where else on earth has anyone heard of workmen -- on a shitty government contract -- doing road maintenance in a residential area on a SUNDAY FUCKIN' MORNING!
Now, my movers are going to have to park their van round the corner and carry my furniture nearly 100m, walk up past the car park, and into my home like little leaf-cutter ants carrying large bits of foliage to decorate their nest...
If there is any damage to my furniture, I will be well pissed off!!
Why are they digging my road on a sunday?
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Friends
I have wonderful friends. Drunken Wench Friends. They look after me when I am feeling blue, just as I look after them when they are feeling like shit. We laugh together, we cry together, and we get drunk together. We hang out in each others homes, we go for a drive with no specific destination, and most of all we accept each others shortcomings...
My DWFs, Y and A, are no longer in Tokyo, for they are on a project in a different country. But I am not alone, because I have the most wonderful friends that I can have that look out for me even when they are far away: DWFs. And I want to dedicate the lyrics to this song -- have a safe journey, both of you.
DWR.
My DWFs, Y and A, are no longer in Tokyo, for they are on a project in a different country. But I am not alone, because I have the most wonderful friends that I can have that look out for me even when they are far away: DWFs. And I want to dedicate the lyrics to this song -- have a safe journey, both of you.
DWR.
"You've Got A Friend
(Carole King)
When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
and you know whereever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.
If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
all you got to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend."
(Carole King)
When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
and you know whereever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.
If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
all you got to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend."
P.S. By the way, Y and A, can I go to see you guyz on 20,000 airmiles??? Is that enough??
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Crying...
I cried twice today, once on the outside, and once on the inside.
First I cried on the outside on my train journey, tears streaming down my face, to my shrink's office to pick up my medication. My DWF, A, recently started to date a woman whom he introduced at a classic DWF dinner. While A left the table to go to the gents, the woman that he brought to meet us started to invite Y and me to "international dating" and "speed dating" parties, for not moments ago Y and I were talking about how difficult it is to meet single men, but despite this, we were quite happy hanging out as DWFs, meeting at least once a week in a pubs/restaurants getting drunk and bitching about our work. These "international/speed dating" events are frequented by Caucasian men who live in Japan, so Y and I started to suspect something strange about her. Why would a woman dating an Asian man invite us to join her in one of these singleton parties?
Y and I confided with A and told him to be careful, because she may be using him to introduce her to a white guy...
It turned out that the only reason why this woman suggested that we go to these dating parties was because she felt "sorry" for us, because we couldn't even get a date. To her we were two women in their 30s with a career, but without that which all strive to achieve in life.
Happiness.
And to her, happiness is to have a line of men waiting to date you, or to be married to a successful man, and have children, neither of which we have. How could we? We work, we get together as DWFs, we go to the gym, we take "classes", we call each other up, we go shopping, but the thing is that we have fun with what resources we have available to us. How can we plan weddings, or romantic holidays, or dates, or anything when we don't have anyone to do these things with? That's why we make the most of what we have -- each other. There should be nothing wrong with that, but it made me both sad and angry to think that a stranger saw us as "dysfunctional" simply because we don't have dates...
Why do people judge us for who we are? Do they think that we chose to be dateless? We are only trying to find our small pocket of happiness with what we have now. That's all...
Second I cried on the inside as I wrote an email to Nick to tell him that I think we should go our separate ways. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain, and with no concrete plans for even the near future, it is difficult to maintain the closeness that we once shared. He has his finals and also started his business, which makes it even more painful for me to have to end things with him during this difficult time. But it had to be done -- sooner, rather than later.
As I pressed the send button on the email, my colleague walked past my cubicle. We joked around, laughed at my drinking habits, told me that I am a good sport because I can take jokes from the boys. I was smiling, laughing even, but really I was crying on the inside. Just like a court jester, I mask my face and make people laugh, I hide my true feelings, my sadness. But one thing a jester cannot hide -- or should I say I leave for us to see -- is the small teardrop on his left cheek, a symbol of his inner, true sadness.
First I cried on the outside on my train journey, tears streaming down my face, to my shrink's office to pick up my medication. My DWF, A, recently started to date a woman whom he introduced at a classic DWF dinner. While A left the table to go to the gents, the woman that he brought to meet us started to invite Y and me to "international dating" and "speed dating" parties, for not moments ago Y and I were talking about how difficult it is to meet single men, but despite this, we were quite happy hanging out as DWFs, meeting at least once a week in a pubs/restaurants getting drunk and bitching about our work. These "international/speed dating" events are frequented by Caucasian men who live in Japan, so Y and I started to suspect something strange about her. Why would a woman dating an Asian man invite us to join her in one of these singleton parties?
Y and I confided with A and told him to be careful, because she may be using him to introduce her to a white guy...
It turned out that the only reason why this woman suggested that we go to these dating parties was because she felt "sorry" for us, because we couldn't even get a date. To her we were two women in their 30s with a career, but without that which all strive to achieve in life.
Happiness.
And to her, happiness is to have a line of men waiting to date you, or to be married to a successful man, and have children, neither of which we have. How could we? We work, we get together as DWFs, we go to the gym, we take "classes", we call each other up, we go shopping, but the thing is that we have fun with what resources we have available to us. How can we plan weddings, or romantic holidays, or dates, or anything when we don't have anyone to do these things with? That's why we make the most of what we have -- each other. There should be nothing wrong with that, but it made me both sad and angry to think that a stranger saw us as "dysfunctional" simply because we don't have dates...
Why do people judge us for who we are? Do they think that we chose to be dateless? We are only trying to find our small pocket of happiness with what we have now. That's all...
Second I cried on the inside as I wrote an email to Nick to tell him that I think we should go our separate ways. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain, and with no concrete plans for even the near future, it is difficult to maintain the closeness that we once shared. He has his finals and also started his business, which makes it even more painful for me to have to end things with him during this difficult time. But it had to be done -- sooner, rather than later.
As I pressed the send button on the email, my colleague walked past my cubicle. We joked around, laughed at my drinking habits, told me that I am a good sport because I can take jokes from the boys. I was smiling, laughing even, but really I was crying on the inside. Just like a court jester, I mask my face and make people laugh, I hide my true feelings, my sadness. But one thing a jester cannot hide -- or should I say I leave for us to see -- is the small teardrop on his left cheek, a symbol of his inner, true sadness.
Monday, July 25, 2005
You Win Some, But You Lose A Little Bit More
Five men and five women gathered together in a fashionable eatery in central tokyo on a sunday night. They had a private room to themselves with Zen interior and a perfect view of the city at dusk. They gathered together on a mass "blind date" as someone put it; all were in their late 20s or early 30s living in a city of 12+million people... but still single.
Yes, that really was the setting for sunday's mass blind date that Sunshine and I organised. First we toasted to the meeting/date, introduced ourselves around the table, the food kept on being served, the pitchers of beer were disappearing faster than eligible bachelors, and all seemed to be going well until I noticed something. Ten people. Ten.
Five men, Five women.
If you take the average population, what percentage of that population would you say are attractive, or relatively attractive? Think of the bell curve? Think 6 sigma... Out of the five girls, there was only one girl who just stood out because not only is she fun, nice, energetic, and all the things that someone with a "good personality" has, but also she is very pretty.
She is my brother's ex girlfriend.
It didn't take too long for the large group to sort of split between the ones who were sitting the furthest away from the pretty one, and hence gave up even asking for her phone number, vs. those who were close enough that as soon as someone stood up to go to the bathroom Sunshine just ignored the rest and started to chat her up. (He's a fast mover that one; must admit, impressively fast!)
Later that evening I sent everyone a "thank you for coming" email along with some pictures that we took during the date. My brother's ex replied back saying that she had a wonderful time, and had been invited to see the new StarWars film with him at the cinema, while the rest of us came back (both men and women) kind of feeling satisfied that at least we are not alone in the city of 12+million. We know that these guyz are just as single as the moment they walked into the restaurant as they left for the train station.
If Sunshine and my brother's ex hit it off, there are now two less singletons in this city. They will not be able to join us in our singleton activities while they go on dates, hold hands, kiss, and do all the things that couples always do. I suppose depending on the way you look at things, sometimes you win, but in general you tend to lose a little more.
Yes, that really was the setting for sunday's mass blind date that Sunshine and I organised. First we toasted to the meeting/date, introduced ourselves around the table, the food kept on being served, the pitchers of beer were disappearing faster than eligible bachelors, and all seemed to be going well until I noticed something. Ten people. Ten.
Five men, Five women.
If you take the average population, what percentage of that population would you say are attractive, or relatively attractive? Think of the bell curve? Think 6 sigma... Out of the five girls, there was only one girl who just stood out because not only is she fun, nice, energetic, and all the things that someone with a "good personality" has, but also she is very pretty.
She is my brother's ex girlfriend.
It didn't take too long for the large group to sort of split between the ones who were sitting the furthest away from the pretty one, and hence gave up even asking for her phone number, vs. those who were close enough that as soon as someone stood up to go to the bathroom Sunshine just ignored the rest and started to chat her up. (He's a fast mover that one; must admit, impressively fast!)
Later that evening I sent everyone a "thank you for coming" email along with some pictures that we took during the date. My brother's ex replied back saying that she had a wonderful time, and had been invited to see the new StarWars film with him at the cinema, while the rest of us came back (both men and women) kind of feeling satisfied that at least we are not alone in the city of 12+million. We know that these guyz are just as single as the moment they walked into the restaurant as they left for the train station.
If Sunshine and my brother's ex hit it off, there are now two less singletons in this city. They will not be able to join us in our singleton activities while they go on dates, hold hands, kiss, and do all the things that couples always do. I suppose depending on the way you look at things, sometimes you win, but in general you tend to lose a little more.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Countdown To Sunshine "Mass Date"
(I was going to write about my 3 day yoga retreat up in the mountains that I just returned from, but by judging the reaction to my post about seeking the help of a sexist man to organise a "mass date" for my friends, I think I will leave my Yoga tales a bit later and concentrate on more immediate, and potentially volatile situation.)
The date with Sunshine, et. al.
Ahh.... the dating thing. It can be both blissful, and painful. You are elated one moment, and before you know it you find yourself naked in the slimey depths of Hades. And why did I not elope with Nick and get a golden band on my wedding finger in Las Vagus? Good question; he had his finals, and I was starting a new job in Japan? Is that a poor excuse? Maybe. I could have just taken a huge risk, but the only thing that I can speculate with my ultimate rationality is that I am in my 30s.
Single women in their 30s -- early, mid, and late -- are all too "rational" and "crazy". And this state fluctuates unpredictably like the movements of a cat playing with it's toys.
We are conservative one moment, and in the next monent wild whores sleeping with anything and anyone with a penis and a pulse. (actually, some toys do not have pulses) -- we just can't help it. We are like teenage boys with their chronic acne and raging hormones wanking 7 times a day just to set a personal record; but does cumming 7 times a day make any sense? No. We seek some form of meaning to our actions.
We encounter many opportunities to find a mate/soulmate every second, but we miss it, or chose to ignore it, for there is that small "imp" that resides in the back of our minds that keeps repeating the words: "Are you sure you are doing the right thing? Is he the one? What if you got it all wrong...?" These imps have become our crystal ball, our Oracle of Delphi who have (mis)guided us through our abusive, passive aggressive, dead-end relationships that we have invested so much during our 20s. Ten years ago I was not too bothered about living with an unemployed drug dealer who was only "sorting friends out temporarily" while he was working on several grand "business plans" that would have changed the whole mobile telecommunications industry, food industry, tourism industry, et. al... Now, well... the imp tells me if I see similar signals, run the other way! "Girlfriend, fuck off and get a proper life!"
But is my imp right? Should I take old baggage from previous experiences and apply them to someone who may be completely different to my bitter experiences from the past? In my 20s I would have just told my imp to fuck off... but now, I am not too sure. But one thing is for sure, unless you try it, you just never know if it will work out or not. Just because Nick is on the other side of the world, it does not mean that I should automatically dismiss what we have; in fact I think what we have is still special. It's just that we don't have much time for each other... so in the meantime I guess I am going to enjoy my life just as I did before: hang out with the DWFs, go to Yoga retreats, climb mountains, have dinner with my gay friends, play with my cats -- OH! -- and flat hunting.
But you know what? At the end of the day, the mass date with Sunshine is just a bit of fun for me and my friends, for at the end of the day, I will always have a funny, private story to tell Nick. And I'm sure that Sunshine will send me a funny email on monday morning. :)
(Postscript: OK, so I will have to tell you guyz the gory details of how our date ends up! Luckily its going to be on a sunday evening, so they are probably not going to turn into the crude boys that they are -- I hope they make a relatively good impression on my friends. :)
The date with Sunshine, et. al.
Ahh.... the dating thing. It can be both blissful, and painful. You are elated one moment, and before you know it you find yourself naked in the slimey depths of Hades. And why did I not elope with Nick and get a golden band on my wedding finger in Las Vagus? Good question; he had his finals, and I was starting a new job in Japan? Is that a poor excuse? Maybe. I could have just taken a huge risk, but the only thing that I can speculate with my ultimate rationality is that I am in my 30s.
Single women in their 30s -- early, mid, and late -- are all too "rational" and "crazy". And this state fluctuates unpredictably like the movements of a cat playing with it's toys.
We are conservative one moment, and in the next monent wild whores sleeping with anything and anyone with a penis and a pulse. (actually, some toys do not have pulses) -- we just can't help it. We are like teenage boys with their chronic acne and raging hormones wanking 7 times a day just to set a personal record; but does cumming 7 times a day make any sense? No. We seek some form of meaning to our actions.
We encounter many opportunities to find a mate/soulmate every second, but we miss it, or chose to ignore it, for there is that small "imp" that resides in the back of our minds that keeps repeating the words: "Are you sure you are doing the right thing? Is he the one? What if you got it all wrong...?" These imps have become our crystal ball, our Oracle of Delphi who have (mis)guided us through our abusive, passive aggressive, dead-end relationships that we have invested so much during our 20s. Ten years ago I was not too bothered about living with an unemployed drug dealer who was only "sorting friends out temporarily" while he was working on several grand "business plans" that would have changed the whole mobile telecommunications industry, food industry, tourism industry, et. al... Now, well... the imp tells me if I see similar signals, run the other way! "Girlfriend, fuck off and get a proper life!"
But is my imp right? Should I take old baggage from previous experiences and apply them to someone who may be completely different to my bitter experiences from the past? In my 20s I would have just told my imp to fuck off... but now, I am not too sure. But one thing is for sure, unless you try it, you just never know if it will work out or not. Just because Nick is on the other side of the world, it does not mean that I should automatically dismiss what we have; in fact I think what we have is still special. It's just that we don't have much time for each other... so in the meantime I guess I am going to enjoy my life just as I did before: hang out with the DWFs, go to Yoga retreats, climb mountains, have dinner with my gay friends, play with my cats -- OH! -- and flat hunting.
But you know what? At the end of the day, the mass date with Sunshine is just a bit of fun for me and my friends, for at the end of the day, I will always have a funny, private story to tell Nick. And I'm sure that Sunshine will send me a funny email on monday morning. :)
(Postscript: OK, so I will have to tell you guyz the gory details of how our date ends up! Luckily its going to be on a sunday evening, so they are probably not going to turn into the crude boys that they are -- I hope they make a relatively good impression on my friends. :)
Friday, July 15, 2005
Big Brother Is Watching, And Now I Have Been TAGGED?!
Ok, so Viscous has for some reason got me involved me in this tagging business... I have also recently been asked to joing a "mass blog" session. What do they talk about? Who the hell knows. But anyway, in my monocellular drone-like style I will start off with answering Big Brother's questions about my reading materials as per the tag:
Number of Books I own: Over 900 novels/non fiction. Over 1300 Japanese "Manga" comics. My favourite? Right now the JoJo series.(yea, I am a nerd)
Last Book I Bought: The DaVinci Code, 1001 nights without sex (true story about a woman who went for over 3 years without sex because of all her dating disasters), (Japanese) The Howlings of a loser bitch (analysis of why women are getting married later, and there is a decline in birthrates in Japan. Are singletons losers? is her theme), Some Ducks Don't Fly (story about a photojournalist who ends up in a mental institition coz he's an alcoholic). Kabukicho Underground -- True Tales of the Underground World of The Seadiest Part of Tokyo
Five Books That Mean A Lot To Me: Totto-chan: A little Girl By The Window, a true story about a little girl with a very vivid imagination, but was mistaken as being stupid as a child.
Mama Black Widow -- by Iceberg Slim.... It just touched my heart in so many ways.
The Pilgrimage - by Paolo Coehlo. The story may seem simple, but the message is strong.
Brave New World -- Aldus Huxley. Makes me think about our world today...
The Chrysalids -- John Wyndam. Let's hope that the level of discrimination never reaches this point in the history of humanity.
Five Victims
My Neighbours Are Hoors
OBHDIGFHTT
Ouija
Sketchy jeoff
Kezza
Watch out all of you -- you shall be tagged soon!
Number of Books I own: Over 900 novels/non fiction. Over 1300 Japanese "Manga" comics. My favourite? Right now the JoJo series.(yea, I am a nerd)
Last Book I Bought: The DaVinci Code, 1001 nights without sex (true story about a woman who went for over 3 years without sex because of all her dating disasters), (Japanese) The Howlings of a loser bitch (analysis of why women are getting married later, and there is a decline in birthrates in Japan. Are singletons losers? is her theme), Some Ducks Don't Fly (story about a photojournalist who ends up in a mental institition coz he's an alcoholic). Kabukicho Underground -- True Tales of the Underground World of The Seadiest Part of Tokyo
Five Books That Mean A Lot To Me: Totto-chan: A little Girl By The Window, a true story about a little girl with a very vivid imagination, but was mistaken as being stupid as a child.
Mama Black Widow -- by Iceberg Slim.... It just touched my heart in so many ways.
The Pilgrimage - by Paolo Coehlo. The story may seem simple, but the message is strong.
Brave New World -- Aldus Huxley. Makes me think about our world today...
The Chrysalids -- John Wyndam. Let's hope that the level of discrimination never reaches this point in the history of humanity.
Five Victims
My Neighbours Are Hoors
OBHDIGFHTT
Ouija
Sketchy jeoff
Kezza
Watch out all of you -- you shall be tagged soon!
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Picky, Picky, Don't Be Picky! (right?)
In Japan there is such thing called a Go-Con. I have no idea where the term originated from, but is it a small gathering of men and women who convene “en masse” in a semi-organised blind date. These Go-Cons are usually organised by two people – friends – who will organise a get-together with their singleton friends in a bid to meet new people/singletons who are swimming in the dating gene pool. In essence they “go” and “con” themselves into believing that their friends will introduce them to finding “true love” or “a good fuck” that night.
As you all know, I have already accomplished my “sex quota (refer to NYR#4)” for this year, and I have a lovely partner, albeit he resides on the other side of the planet. However, the other members of the DW Exclusive Committee have not reached their quota yet; in fact they are about to hit critical mass. So in a bid to get some action for the DW Inner Circle, I have looked to the most unlikely sources for help.
Sunshine.
Sunshine has mentioned several times in the past that we should have an arranged mass blind date (Go-Con). I have always taken his words with a pinch of salt, but in retrospect when I think about his prospective friends/aquaintances (considering his background in pre-med, MBA, etc.) he probably knows many eligible men who also have an equal network of even more eligible men/women for the DWFs to complete their quota this year. I know that having an impressive resume does not always guarantee that they are a nice person, but at our age, one of the things that we look for is that we don’t date lazy, poor, apathetic men who are always going to ask us to pay for our outings.
By the time you are thirty, nice men our age are either married, recently divorced (with 3 kids and alimony), or gay, so it is hard to find someone who lives close to you to take you out on casual dinner dates, short weekends, romantic drives… We women have all been indoctrinated by “Uncle Walt” during our childhood with his Cinderella, Snow White, and the “Happily Ever Afters…”. I hate to admit it, but at the end of the day women still loved to be woo and cooed... by Alpha Males.
I am really gritting my teeth as I write this, but the likes of Sunshine and club members of the Ivory Tower are indeed Alpha Males – socially speaking. Must admit, I I need to take a DNA sample to absolutely prove that they are indeed fully the crème de la crème, but anyone who ends up marrying with the likes of Sunshine and his MBA friends are going to have an easy life of fulltime maids, well educated children, and a glamourous social life, while maintaining the financial freedom that one enjoys as an independent singleton. We get to wake up next to the man we love every morning, but at the same time feel quite OK about calling “darling” up to tell him that you have to leave on Thursday for a 3 day business trip to Singapore.
We want commitment, and freedom. We want to chose the cake, bake it, admire it, and eat it with our lovers...
Are we being too picky in our age? Is this why we are still single in our 30s???
Does anyone have an answer to all this madness?? I forgot how "dating" was such an effort...
As you all know, I have already accomplished my “sex quota (refer to NYR#4)” for this year, and I have a lovely partner, albeit he resides on the other side of the planet. However, the other members of the DW Exclusive Committee have not reached their quota yet; in fact they are about to hit critical mass. So in a bid to get some action for the DW Inner Circle, I have looked to the most unlikely sources for help.
Sunshine.
Sunshine has mentioned several times in the past that we should have an arranged mass blind date (Go-Con). I have always taken his words with a pinch of salt, but in retrospect when I think about his prospective friends/aquaintances (considering his background in pre-med, MBA, etc.) he probably knows many eligible men who also have an equal network of even more eligible men/women for the DWFs to complete their quota this year. I know that having an impressive resume does not always guarantee that they are a nice person, but at our age, one of the things that we look for is that we don’t date lazy, poor, apathetic men who are always going to ask us to pay for our outings.
By the time you are thirty, nice men our age are either married, recently divorced (with 3 kids and alimony), or gay, so it is hard to find someone who lives close to you to take you out on casual dinner dates, short weekends, romantic drives… We women have all been indoctrinated by “Uncle Walt” during our childhood with his Cinderella, Snow White, and the “Happily Ever Afters…”. I hate to admit it, but at the end of the day women still loved to be woo and cooed... by Alpha Males.
I am really gritting my teeth as I write this, but the likes of Sunshine and club members of the Ivory Tower are indeed Alpha Males – socially speaking. Must admit, I I need to take a DNA sample to absolutely prove that they are indeed fully the crème de la crème, but anyone who ends up marrying with the likes of Sunshine and his MBA friends are going to have an easy life of fulltime maids, well educated children, and a glamourous social life, while maintaining the financial freedom that one enjoys as an independent singleton. We get to wake up next to the man we love every morning, but at the same time feel quite OK about calling “darling” up to tell him that you have to leave on Thursday for a 3 day business trip to Singapore.
We want commitment, and freedom. We want to chose the cake, bake it, admire it, and eat it with our lovers...
Are we being too picky in our age? Is this why we are still single in our 30s???
Does anyone have an answer to all this madness?? I forgot how "dating" was such an effort...
Thursday, July 07, 2005
1001 Nights Without Nick
(I know that some of you want to know about me and Nick... well here it is -- censored)
I recently read a book called The Curse of the Singles Table by Suzanne Scholosberg. It's a story about a woman who went without sex (involuntarily) for over 3 years before she met her partner for life, Paul.
The closest I have got to that record is only a half, but nonetheless impressive... And Nick broke that spell, I suppose.
As some of you readers know I met Nick online and in under a year of corresponding with him I decided to take a plane halfway round the world to visit him for a month. I never stayed in a hotel to keep my distance, nor did I call up my female friends to rescue me from a bad date.
I spent an entire month with a man who I had never met.
Nick and I still converse with each other, although we have many obstacles that not many people face (e.g distance), but when I think about him I always have a warm feeling inside me. I last saw Nick in mid April, but I still think about him.
He lives pretty much on the other side of the planet to me; he likes to stay at home and chill out, whereas I love to go out and try out new things/food. He likes order and structure, whereas I believe that everything can be "improved",(i.e nothing stays the same), he likes hiphop/rap, and I like mellow jazz/rock.
But it does not matter at all, because its the fundamentals that matter. I can see his honesty and essence when I look straight into his eyes. (he has big lovely eyes)
Nick, the only thing that I would request from you.... come and lie down with me, and make love to me every night.
Kiss me and make love to me me the way you so wonderfuly do.
I miss being part of you...
I recently read a book called The Curse of the Singles Table by Suzanne Scholosberg. It's a story about a woman who went without sex (involuntarily) for over 3 years before she met her partner for life, Paul.
The closest I have got to that record is only a half, but nonetheless impressive... And Nick broke that spell, I suppose.
As some of you readers know I met Nick online and in under a year of corresponding with him I decided to take a plane halfway round the world to visit him for a month. I never stayed in a hotel to keep my distance, nor did I call up my female friends to rescue me from a bad date.
I spent an entire month with a man who I had never met.
Nick and I still converse with each other, although we have many obstacles that not many people face (e.g distance), but when I think about him I always have a warm feeling inside me. I last saw Nick in mid April, but I still think about him.
He lives pretty much on the other side of the planet to me; he likes to stay at home and chill out, whereas I love to go out and try out new things/food. He likes order and structure, whereas I believe that everything can be "improved",(i.e nothing stays the same), he likes hiphop/rap, and I like mellow jazz/rock.
But it does not matter at all, because its the fundamentals that matter. I can see his honesty and essence when I look straight into his eyes. (he has big lovely eyes)
Nick, the only thing that I would request from you.... come and lie down with me, and make love to me every night.
Kiss me and make love to me me the way you so wonderfuly do.
I miss being part of you...
No Weddings, But A Funeral...
I am currently reading a book written by a Japanese War photographer/journalist who suffers from clinical depression and alcoholism, just like me. You may wonder how someone can go about being depressed, not take madication, and live his life proudly drinking and gambling away -- comfortably.
Well. He does. And he does it with the support of his family. His wife is a famous cartoon artist whose recent work was made into a film; the story is both happy, and sad, but nonetheless a heartbreaking one. I have been a fan of his wife who portrays the lower ranks of the working class Japanese in simple style and language. She has two lovely children with the depressed war correspondent who spends less than 2 months in a year with his family. The rest of the time he is taking photos of flying shrapnel, or being stoned in a cheep hotel with no money for his next fix.
But he is one of my favourite Japanese writers.
Sometimes I wish that I could live a life like his: being stoned/drunk and unaware of anyone or anything... just let time pass. I meet people who I do not care about, but will help me kill time for the bottle (or two). I want to wake up at my own time, wonder in a strange land, take a few interesting photos, and go back to chasing the dragon with strangers for the rest of the day. I want to lose my memory to the point where I cannot remember when was the last time that I had a memory, just like the authour of the book that I read. And yet he has more than a lifetime of experiences and observances to last an eternity.
I wish that I could live a life of just emptiness so that I can embrace the whole...
Last week, a friend of mine committed suicide... I used to fancy him, but he went out with my friend. (plus I was going thru a breakup and wanted to take things slowly) I left it at that, but they broke up; nearly 6months after their break up he contacted me, and we went out for a casual lunch. He looked pale, and melancholy, but had a lovely afternoon. We enjoyed the sunset and a brief walk, talking about old times. And that was the last I heard of him.
Till I heard he was dead.
It's strange how you miss a person who you have not heard from in a year.
J, may you rest in peace. If things were different, you and I may have been lovers...
Well. He does. And he does it with the support of his family. His wife is a famous cartoon artist whose recent work was made into a film; the story is both happy, and sad, but nonetheless a heartbreaking one. I have been a fan of his wife who portrays the lower ranks of the working class Japanese in simple style and language. She has two lovely children with the depressed war correspondent who spends less than 2 months in a year with his family. The rest of the time he is taking photos of flying shrapnel, or being stoned in a cheep hotel with no money for his next fix.
But he is one of my favourite Japanese writers.
Sometimes I wish that I could live a life like his: being stoned/drunk and unaware of anyone or anything... just let time pass. I meet people who I do not care about, but will help me kill time for the bottle (or two). I want to wake up at my own time, wonder in a strange land, take a few interesting photos, and go back to chasing the dragon with strangers for the rest of the day. I want to lose my memory to the point where I cannot remember when was the last time that I had a memory, just like the authour of the book that I read. And yet he has more than a lifetime of experiences and observances to last an eternity.
I wish that I could live a life of just emptiness so that I can embrace the whole...
Last week, a friend of mine committed suicide... I used to fancy him, but he went out with my friend. (plus I was going thru a breakup and wanted to take things slowly) I left it at that, but they broke up; nearly 6months after their break up he contacted me, and we went out for a casual lunch. He looked pale, and melancholy, but had a lovely afternoon. We enjoyed the sunset and a brief walk, talking about old times. And that was the last I heard of him.
Till I heard he was dead.
It's strange how you miss a person who you have not heard from in a year.
J, may you rest in peace. If things were different, you and I may have been lovers...
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