I'm Back

And I am completely sober; haven't had a drink in over a year. Not a single drop, which is not bad for an alcoholic, right?

Looking back over the past year life has been more than a perfect excuse for me to return on the piss and trip my sorry arse away, but as life goes (just as it does for others)I have to live one day at a time: a good friend commited suicide leaving me a note; insanity to be in a relationship with a colleague for the reason that I was "lonely"; getting Shingles twice resulting in residual neuralgia; return of asthma attacks which ended in me passing out at our office lobby; excessive weight-loss (being 41kg at 162cm made me look like a crack whore!); missed days at work; my brother's arrest for possession of "illegal substances -- he was locked up for over a month; dating an ex-coke head (which ended in me running away from the relationship -- again); quitting my 6figure a year job to follow my heart and become certified as a professional SCUBA diver in Flores, Indonesia; the death of my unborn nephew, followed shortly by my brother's girlfriend committing suicide; tax man freezing my bank account for unpaid back taxes from 3 years ago when I was living in Hong Kong; working as a freelance translator, English teacher, interpretor, researcher, and copy editor -- basically anything to put food in the Kitty bowl every night!

SHIT! Sounds like hell, huh? But I had good fun last year, because I did all of this with no booze, prozac, pot, benzo's, white drugs, binging/vomiting, or anorexia. Just green tea and coffee. Isn't that amazing? Green tea and Coffee.

I have no excuse now not to continue myy writing. I stilll see shit going on around me, but I also see a lot more happiness in the world. I started these ramblings for a reason. And so long as the reason still remains, I might as well keep it up.

On a small note: one of my DWFs, A, is getting married next year. All three of us (DWFs) had dinner at the end of last year to celebrate the good news. A asked me why I stopped writing for a while; his take on it was that I am no longer angry. I disagree. Self righteous anger has been a huge part of my adulthood (and maybe slightly before) but the continuous motion of my pen comes from a different, unknown source. It's not pain, anger, or bitterness; it is something much simpler. Just like the Tao, it just is. Perhaps that is why all my emotions ended up on here, exposed like a dissected frog. It's OK; it's not the end of the world. I don't know who is reading this post at the moment, and neither do you know me. But at this moment, we both "are".

We are.